04/01/2025
Happy April!
I wish this was an April Fools Day joke, but our friend and Wellness Guru, Casey Means, MD, has a special message, a poem brilliantly titled "The Devil's Wellness Plan". Please give her a few minutes of your time, then reflect/pray/explore what this means for your family and mine. Love, Jenny
😈 "The Devil’s Wellness Plan
Plus, need-to-know pesticide legislation info. Welcome to this week’s newsletter — and happy April Fool’s Day!
This week, I’m sharing something a little different: a poem! (I’ve loved writing poetry for 20 years!).
While this one might read like satire fitting for April Fool’s Day, sadly… it’s not a joke. It’s uncomfortably close to reality. The goal is to grapple with some of the harsh realities of the modern world, while offering hope — that by becoming more aware, we can begin to move toward something better.
Take a read and let me know: what did I miss?
Enjoy — and as always, thank you for being here!
😈 The devil’s wellness plan
A poem by Casey Means, MD (with some rhyming help from AI)
If I were the devil, I’d ditch the disguise—
No pitchfork, no flames, just marketing lies.
I’d feed you poison, call it a “snack,”
And label you “elitist” when you want your health back.
I’d flood the media with videos of threats,
Distract and scare and create non-stop stress.
I’d poison the soil, then praise the “yield,”
While destroying the topsoil in every field.
I’d bury research, seal the locks,
Then line you up for seventy-three shots.
I’d cancel critical thinking, stop dissenters with bots,
Then jab your kids without a second thought.
I’d shame the sunlight and worship shade,
And block the rays the holy sun made.
Then sell you D in plastic packs,
To fill the hole from all you lack.
I’d flood your nights with dopamine,
From endless scrolls on little blue screens.
I’d wreck your sleep and sell it back:
“Sweet dreams” with Lunesta and a hundred sleep hacks!
I’d break your trust in ancient ways,
And mock the moon and cycles’ phase.
I’d push the Pill and dull women’s flame,
Till womanhood forgot its name.
I’d give boys man-boobs through toxic food,
And call masculine strength aggressive and lewd.
I’d whisper, “You’re too much, too loud,”
And shame men’s fire as something rude.
I’d flood your screens with p**n on demand,
Till touch means pixels, not holding a hand.
I’d teach women that cooking is something to dread,
That birth needs control and a hospital bed.
I’d destroy the Village, sell you “smart-phones,”
And push Reels that make mothers feel they’re completely alone.
I’d call the Sacred just a trend,
And glorify materialism without any end.
From kids to elders, I’d fry their brains,
Depression, pain, and dementia their chains.
How can you fix things when you can’t think straight?
But don’t worry: Big Pharma will medicate.
I’d put processed poison in the School Lunch,
Let taxpayers pay while the children get sunk.
We’d say that cereal was breakfast of choice,
Packed with sugar and dyes to zap our life-force.
I’d fill the oceans with microplastics and trash,
And poison rivers with pesticides and coal ash.
I’d make you think that composting was hard,
And that you need Roundup to murder every w**d in your yard.
I’d fill the air with infertility-chemicals galore:
“Glade Plug-Ins” and “Lysol” as acceptable norms.
If I were the devil, I’d play it smart:
No need for chains—I’ll just clog your heart!
Keep you comfy, fed, and blind—
Too tired to seek, too numb to find.
If I were the devil, I’d tax you to no end—
Too broke to rise, too exhausted to defend.
No need for war or guns or screams—
Just sugar, screens, and broken dreams.
If I were the devil, I’d never show—
I’d simply coax “yes” from your mouth when your heart screams “NO.”
No need for fire, just silent control,
I’d promote self-abandonment that fractures your whole.
I’d convince your species it’s small and weak,
Too scared of your power, too scared to speak.
I’d help you forget you are a soul and pure light—
A miracle of God trading Enlightenment for likes.
I’d make you forget you’re One with all things,
An eternal note in the symphony the universe sings.
I hope you’ll stay distracted by my noise and my spin,
Never suspect I’m the one who is weakest within.
For if you believed the limitless love that you are,
You’d rise from my grip and entertain me no more.
No fight, no fire — just your peace and your breath,
And I’d melt in a flash, disarmed by your depth.
🤍
So, with the “Devil’s wellness plan” — what did I miss in there? Pretty eerily accurate, huh? 😑
For the record, I don’t believe in a literal devil. But I do wonder whether humanity is being tested right now… by God, by the universe. If we are, I think this test is about whether we, as a species, are willing to show that we want humanity to persist — or whether we’re going to succumb to our lower impulses and destroy ourselves.
We are in a moment of history where our knowledge and technological capabilities give us the power to destroy the planet instantly (i.e., nuclear war!). But, we also have the knowledge and technological capabilities to heal it and create a sustainable future. This is the fascinating, incredible moment we’ve been lucky to be born into.
We’ve been given the ultimate gift: Existence. But our actions as a global community suggest we’re choosing to squander it for profit, convenience, thoughtlessness, “power,” or efficiency— unsustainably extracting from the Earth and destroying its biodiversity, which will obviously come back around to hurt us.
My hope is that we wake up and choose to show how deeply we value life, the Earth, and the opportunity to continue this human experiment... aka, to “pass” the test. Behaviorally modern humans have been here for a very short time, and there’s no guarantee we get to continue. (If Earth’s history were a 24-hour clock, behaviorally modern humans would appear in the last few seconds before midnight). We’re tiny… and yet, quantum science reminds us we matter, a lot. Our choices ripple out. Entanglement is real. Even our thoughts affect the whole.
I invite you to pray, meditate, or simply reflect — for the strength to envision a positive path forward, for your own life, for the planet, and for our species. That we may raise our collective awareness and move toward deeper connection — with ourselves, with each other, and with the greater mystery we’re all a part of. We can’t create what we can’t imagine, but we often limit our ability to even imagine because we forget our own miraculousness.
So I invite you to pause — to reflect, pray, or meditate — and envision a more sustainable and bright path forward. One rooted in love for life, for Earth, and for one another.
The choice is ours.
❤️, Dr. Means"
Dr. Means continues to fight against toxins in our food, water, and air. Today's legislative update is eye-opening, and some of our "Farmer Friends" are stuck behind a dishonest campaign from big pesticide/herbicide companies, funded by our tax money! Please read.
"Pesticide/herbicide legislation update, and it's not good. 👇️
First, did you know that all of the diseases below are linked to synthetic pesticide exposure?
ADHD
Alzheimer’s disease
Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS)
Anxiety, depression, and mood disorders
Asthma / respiratory issues
Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) and other neurodevelopmental delays
Birth defects and congenital abnormalities
Cancer (e.g., non-Hodgkin lymphoma, thyroid, leukemia, brain, breast, prostate, testicular)
Cardiovascular disease
Chronic fatigue syndrome
Cognitive impairment
Diabetes / metabolic syndrome
Fetal growth restriction / low birth weight
Hashimoto’s thyroiditis / hypothyroidism
Autoimmune disease
Infertility (male and female), hormone disruption, and s***m dysfunction, low testosterone
Kidney damage / chronic kidney disease (CKD)
Liver disease
Mitochondrial dysfunction
Obesity
Parkinson’s disease
Acute poisoning and death (at least 1,000,000 unintentional pesticide poisonings per year, approximately 20,000 deaths)
Reproductive tract abnormalities (e.g., hypospadias, cryptorchidism)
Many skin disorders (dermatitis, eczema, rashes)
👨⚖️ Massive legislative push RIGHT NOW backed by Bayer-Monsanto!
There are bills being successfully jammed through several states right now to create “pesticide/herbicide liability shields,” meaning people will no longer be able to sue pesticide companies for diseases they cause.
The Iowa Senate just passed the bill last week (Senate File 394), led by Republican lawmakers. House Bill 544 passed in Missouri by the House of Representatives. HB 522 advanced in Montana's House Agriculture Committee. It's happening all over.
Meanwhile, also last week, Bayer-Monsanto was ordered to pay out $2.1 billion for causing lymphoma in a man who used Roundup in his yard for several years.
Over 170,000+ cases have been filed against Roundup alone, and all those cases for people whose lives have been destroyed by these chemicals will likely be dropped if this legislation goes through. Zero recourse.
Front groups for agrochemical corporations like “Modern Ag Alliance” – which was created by Bayer - A German company that makes Roundup – are claiming these bills will “protect” American farmers and keep food prices low, which is a lie. Nothing is more costly than destroying biodiversity. They are using relentless advertising: billboards, full-page ads in the NY Times and WSJ, and paid marketing on social media to confuse the conversation.
They LOVE the phrase “crop protection.” Poison doesn’t protect anything.
This is the same playbook as the horrific 1986 Childhood Vaccine Liability Act, which shielded vaccine manufacturers from being sued for adverse effects and deaths from vaccines. What happened after that? A literal explosion in the number of vaccines on the CDC schedule (to over 70 vaccines per child) and a complete, full-court suppression of the science showing known harms.
I believe the same thing will happen with pesticides: we will see a massive increase in use, as these companies will have no risk of paying for—or being held criminally liable for—the harm they cause.
Billboards paid for by the group started by Bayer: “Modern Ag Alliance”
What people don't understand is that the companies making most of the poisonous agrochemicals used in the United States are NOT even U.S.-based companies—they are Chinese, German, and Swiss-owned companies (Bayer, ChemChina-Syngenta, BASF) lobbying in the U.S. to have unfettered access to poison our soil and people for profit.
Again, it’s the same playbook we're seeing with Novo Nordisk—a Danish company aggressively influencing U.S. policymakers with relentless lobbying dollars to jam GLP-1 agonists onto the CMS reimbursement schedule for huge swaths of the population (anyone who is obese or overweight). If H.R.4818 passes, it could mean hundreds of billions per year (or more) are directly funneled from U.S. taxpayers to a Danish company—for a drug that doesn’t actually address the root causes of obesity in this country.
Once this cat is out of the bag on the pesticide liability shields, there is really no recourse to the mass environmental and human poisoning that will increasingly affect all of us—whether we buy organic or not, whether we personally use these chemicals or not.
While thankfully I can still choose not to get a COVID booster or take a pharmaceutical drug, I can’t choose whether or not the rain falling on my head contains glyphosate. These pesticides are killing chemicals—that’s what they’re designed to do. Many of them were originally developed by N**i Germany (read my newsletter for more on this). Their use is rising exponentially. Their health effects have NEVER been studied in combination or in real-world use.
And now they’re on our food, in our parks, on our golf courses and lawns, in our water, on our dogs’ paws and fur, and falling from the sky in the rain.
They're everywhere: invisible poisons being sprayed on us largely by foreign-owned companies.
WE ARE LIVING IN A CRAZY WORLD! And ALL our choices matter! We enable these companies to exist by BUYING their products or food sprayed with their products!
In the Iowa Senate vote that passed on March 26th, advancing the pesticide liability shield (Senate File 394), the push was led by Republicans, including Mike Bousselot (R-Ankeny). Somehow, he didn’t get the memo that:
Iowa has the second highest rate of cancer in the U.S.
Iowa is one of the top five highest pesticide-using states.
Iowa's main crops are soybeans and corn—most of which are used to produce soybean oil and grain-based feed for feedlot animals, both of which are deeply damaging to public health.
Also, in case you weren’t aware, these pesticide companies ghost-write papers claiming their chemicals are safe. Just like the to***co industry did. Just like vaccine and pharmaceutical companies have done.
These companies also have a US government funded "private social network" attacking pesticide critics, smearing regenerative agriculture leaders like Michael Pollan and sharing ultra-personal details of the people they are targeting.
Most synthetic pesticides, herbicides, and insecticides are a slow-motion extinction event. The lasting domino effects on health, fertility, cancer, neurodegeneration, global biodiversity, topsoil integrity, ocean and aquatic life, and more I think could potentially push us reach a tipping point. We’re poisoning the intricate web of life for a false sense of convenience and efficiency. Please pay attention, speak up, and choose differently. And for the love of God never buy Roundup."
