Enduring Care Counseling Service

04/04/2024

I’m having some big big big emotions! #

03/01/2024

One of the great difficulties in relationships is doing what’s best for oneself while bringing out the best in someone else. This is the part of denying oneself, focus on bringing out the best in someone else and your best will come out. The struggle is real for sure!

09/27/2023

Past hurts preventing healthy friendships and intimacy?
From https://howwelove.com/the-vacillator/

The Vacillator grew up with a parent who connects in sporadic and unpredictable ways or more blatantly connects then abandons the child by leaving the family. It’s more about the parents needs than the child’s needs. These kids get enough connection to make them desire more so the longing for connection is kindled, but they end up waiting and wondering when the parent might show them some attention again. By the time parents are in the mood to connect, the child is tired of waiting and may be too angry to receive.

As adults, vacillators are on a quest to find gratifying, consistent connection they missed as kids. They idealize new relationships thinking—I have found it! As soon as real life sets in and they have to wait for their spouse to be available, vacillators become angry and critical and focus on the problems in their spouse. Vacillators don’t recognize their childhood pain is a big part of their current reactivity. People married to vacillators say, “I feel like I’m walking on egg shells and getting a mixed message….come here…..go away. I can’t do enough to make my spouse happy.”

from

09/25/2023

09/21/2023

Past hurts preventing healthy friendships and intimacy?
From https://howwelove.com/the-pleaser/

The Pleaser wants connection to relieve anxiety about disapproval or rejection. May be fearful when alone. Gives and appeases to maintain connection and avoid rejection. Eventually burns out and resentment builds over time. Emotional caretaker of others.

“If I give enough, I’ll be worth keeping around.” Looks for opportunities to give and expects little in return. Reads the moods of others to figure out what they want. “If I’m nice, others won’t be angry or critical.

09/19/2023

Past hurts preventing healthy friendships and intimacy?
From https://howwelove.com/the-controller/

Controller’s anger prevents emotional intimacy. Addictions used to numb pain, bring relief. People are viewed as unsafe and untrustworthy. To be in charge and maintain control. No control in childhood brought unbearable pain. Retaining control as an adult keeps childhood pain (humiliation, terror, shame) submerged and out of awareness.

This Labor Day Weekend, use promo code LABORDAY40 and get 40% off our store (physical products excluded) View the Store What if we told you your marriage problems began before you got married? Take our Love Style Quiz to discover how your early life experiences shaped your Love Style and begin worki...

07/07/2023

I love it when clients are excited about their therapy!

05/23/2023

So glad to begin to offer this form of therapy