04/09/2024
Watching the eclipse got me thinking about integration. Specifically about integrating our shadow. When we meet this part of ourselves it can be very disruptive to our psych. Our shadow is made up of all the unloved and rejected parts of ourselves. Conversely, our personalities are the parts of ourselves that we use to foster connection. We develop these two aspects around a core wound given to us by our caregivers.
A while ago when i was on the thick of my midlife awaking, I confronted this, I thought, "Oh no, everything that anyone likes about me is just a defense mechanism I developed to protect my wound"! And then, "this shadow part of myself is really my authentic self"! I saw my personality as a mask that needed to be removed. I wanted to take my mask off.
(This is actually the danger of doing shadow work. If you don't have a super strong sense of self, you could blow up your life seeking a false "authentic" self)
The reality is this, neither personality nor the shadow are the authentic self. They combine to form an authentic self. When we start to love the shadow, learn about why we use it the way we do, and why we use the personality the way we do we can build awareness around our thoughts, feelings, and actions, then we can apply conscious awareness in how we use them. It also will give us greater clarity on how others are using theirs.
This leads to greater connection, love, compassion, understanding, and all the other things we are chasing.
