01/06/2025
Well here we goâŚđ
Uh oh, its the Year of the Snake đ
2025 has arrived, hissing and slithering into our lives as the Year of the Snakeâand spoiler alert: this isnât your friendly neighborhood garden snake here to eat pests and mind its business. Oh no, hunny. This is a venom-dripping, scales-polished-for-the-apocalypse, âmess with me and Iâll make your entire year regret itâ kind of energy. So sharpen your witts, and letâs figure out how to survive this slippery little nightmare of a year.
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The Snake: Natureâs Petty Overachiever
Snakes are everything you aspire to be: smooth, sneaky, and completely unbothered by the opinions of others. Theyâre the passive-aggressive MVPs of the animal kingdom. You think they care about your feelings? Absolutely not. They slither through life with the grace of someone who just cut in line at Starbucks and knows you wonât call them out.
This year, itâs time to channel that energy. Got a grudge? Hold it tighter than your favorite black lipstick. Got ambition? Squeeze it until it canât breathe. Got someone annoying in your life? Just hiss at themâitâs more effective than therapy and way cheaper.
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2025 and the World: A Snakeâs-Eye View
The world is a messâwhat else is new? This year promises more twists, turns, and "unprecedented events" that feel suspiciously precedented. Think political theatrics, natural disasters, and a whole lot of people asking, âHow did we get here?â
Meanwhile, we will be sitting back with our black coffee (or wine, no judgment), smirking as the chaos unfolds. Why? Because snakes donât panic. They adapt. They slither through the nonsense and come out on topâlike the shadow queens we are.
Pro tip: If someone tries to drag you into their nonsense, just smile and say, âSorry, Iâm too busy plotting world domination.â Or at least HOA dominationâbaby steps.
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What This Means for You: Shed or Be Left Behind
The Year of the Snake is basically the universeâs way of slapping you with a note that says, âItâs time to get your act together, or else.â This isnât a year for playing small. Itâs transformation season, and you donât get to hit snooze on it.
How to Handle This Slithery Call-Out:
Ditch the Dead Weight:
That friend who only texts you when they need a ride? Blocked. That habit of doom-scrolling until 3 AM? Snakes donât have thumbs, and neither should you.
Stop Explaining Yourself:
Snakes donât write memos about why they shed their skinâthey just do it.
Got goals? Chase them. Got opinions? Own them. If anyone questions you, just hiss and move on.
Be the Villain:
Nice people donât make history. This is the year to channel your inner antagonist. Laugh maniacally, wear too much black, and leave everyone wondering what youâre up to.
(Hint: Whatever you want.)
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What to Actually Do (Besides Hiss at People)
The âIâm Over Itâ Shedding Ritual
Write down everything thatâs holding you backâbad habits, toxic people, that one cardigan you never wear but canât throw outâand burn it with dramatic flair. Bonus points if you scream âBye, Felicia!â while the flames rise.
Serpentâs Revenge Spell
Got someone whoâs been testing your patience? Take a piece of paper, write their name, and wrap it around a snake figurine.
Shadow Work with Snake Energy
Pour yourself a glass of wine (or absinthe if youâre feeling spicy), light a candle, and stare into a mirror like the dramatic witch you are. Ask yourself:
What am I holding onto that doesnât serve me?
Who do I need to hiss at more often?
Write your answers, then do something about them. Snakes donât sit around waitingâthey act.
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How to Slither Through 2025
Hiss Loud, Hiss Often:
If someone crosses you, donât argue. Just hiss. Itâs quick, effective, and leaves them too confused to respond.
Keep Them Guessing:
Snakes are mysterious. They donât broadcast their plans or post inspirational quotes about their goals. Be like the snake: silent, strategic, and just a little terrifying.
Walk Like You Own the Swamp:
Whether youâre in a boardroom, a coven meeting, or your local coffee shop, move like youâre untouchable. Confidence is keyâand if youâre faking it, make sure no one can tell.
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Final Thoughts on This Venomous Year
2025 isnât here to hold your hand or sing you a lullaby. Itâs here to remind you donât crumble â you conquer. So shed your old skin, step into your power, and slither into this year like the unapologetic, queen you were always meant to be.
And if someone tries to test your patience?
Just hiss at them.
So happy snakey 2025 darlings, you got this.
Always in the shadows,
Dark Witchery