Anne Cleary Counseling

06/26/2025

https://www.facebook.com/100063785227347/posts/1261284172674412/?mibextid=rS40aB7S9Ucbxw6v

***LIVE workshop: “From cPTSD to Peace” this Saturday.

Online group registration opening soon.

Linktree.ee/natepost for both.

Im so glad you’re here! 🫶💞✨

05/06/2025

https://www.facebook.com/100063684401339/posts/1223691396430329/?mibextid=rS40aB7S9Ucbxw6v

The cruelest part of childhood trauma isn’t the pain—it’s the expectation to perform normalcy while your world burns. You could spend the night dodging verbal landmines, swallowing tears into your pillow, or playing therapist to a narcissistic mother’s rage… only to stand at the bus stop the next morning, carrying invisible wounds no one sees.

Imagine sitting through math class while your mind replays the sound of slammed doors. Forcing laughter in the cafeteria with friends who don’t know the battles you fight inside. Writing essays about “What I Did This Weekend” while hiding the exhaustion of emotional survival. This isn’t resilience. It’s soul surgery without anaesthetic —a masterclass in compartmentalisation no child should ever take.

But here’s what that kid couldn’t see- Every step taken in those too-big shoes, every smile faked through numbness, every A+ earned to prove “I’m worth keeping”—it was all building a spine of steel beneath the surface.

To the adult who was once that child; your survival wasn’t “just part of growing up.” It was a Herculean feat. The way you learnt to code-switch between home and school, to map exit routes in every room, to parent yourself when no one else would—that’s your superpower.

Healing now means tending to the child who still lives in your nervous system. Let them sob. Let them rage. Let them finally drop the backpack of bricks they’ve carried for decades.

03/05/2025

Black and white vs full spectrum. How does this apply to therapy and healing from trauma? Our natural birthright for the vast majority of humans is to have a more flexible full spectrum cognitive mindset. This includes an ability to see both sides of an issue or feel two strong feelings (that may be in opposition to each other like sad and happy or scared and excited) at the same time. Our flexible mind does not struggle with this and is able to acknowledge many colors can exist at the same time. On the contrary, once a person experiences either a chronic trauma or even a single event trauma their mind will shift into what is called black and white thinking. Things now have to be either this or that nothing on between (eg. all relationships are unsafe vs some relationships may prove to be unsafe, my political beliefs are 100% right and yours are 100% wrong, I only feel sad I can’t see anything positive about this situation). As you can imagine, this rigidity will affect a person’s relationship to themselves (I’m all bad if I’m not all good), to others (they hurt my feelings so they are all bad), to the world (this type of person is all bad) and so forth. It is crucial in trauma recovery that a person pays attention to and starts to challenge this automatic narrative and be willing to consider a more full spectrum assessment. Some people refer to it as thinking in shades of gray but I like full spectrum color! Are there instances where truth may be black or white? Of course, there is nuance to this idea. Also a note to say that black and white thinking is coming from a protective part of you that is simply trying to keep you safe, we can thank that part of us for their service and offer compassion to that part.

01/09/2025

For many, January is a hard, cold month…

When everyone is setting new goals, laying down righteous ground rules and striving to become a better version of themselves, some of us are fighting to find our feet each day...

You see, December is a month of giving, and some of us, come January, are completely and utterly spent.

A month of remembering everyone, and remembering absolutely everything.

A month of including everyone and of reaching out to each and every person we have ever known.

A month of reaching breaking point every day trying to have fun, to be the ultimate hostess, to be the perfect guest.

A month of stretching ourselves financially, emotionally and of letting our boundaries be breached by many... in the spirit of the season.

And then January hits and bam... before we can even begin the arduous task of clearing away the festivities, we are expected to jump on the ‘new year, new you’ bandwagon and transform ourselves entirely.

For some of us this is just too much.

January is the darkest and most depressing month of the year and for many sensitive souls, the barrage of ‘advice’ on how we ‘should’ be living, is just too much.

So perhaps this is a safe place to say that maybe it’s okay to take a week or two to recover and to just be kind to ourselves before demanding better.

And for those of us who really do fall low in the darkest month of the year. For those of us who have given too much and to whom the future looks bleak - perhaps this is the right place to say - you are absolutely fine the way you are. Just stay.

Take some time to breathe.

Take some time to not think about anything much at all except breathing in and breathing out.

Take some time to build back up, not tear your yourself down.

For many, this month is a mountain that looks unclimbable.

Be kind, my friends. Always.

Donna Ashworth

Art by

01/06/2025

12/21/2024

https://geediting.com/10-phrases-people-use-when-they-lack-empathy-and-emotional-intelligence-according-to-psychology/

Empathy and emotional intelligence aren’t just buzz words – they’re the bedrock of meaningful connections. But not everyone’s got a firm grip on them. Sometimes, people drop phrases that reveal a real shortage of these qualities. It’s like their words are broadcasting a “low EQ” alert!...

11/13/2024

This message is for all Veterans looking for mental health services in our area. I want you to meet Ross Wise, who is working at our Amelia Park, MAPS Integrated Wellness office, working on a post-grad certification to become a Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner (PMHNP) along with Dr. Dtuchak and Dr. Soleh at MAPS. Recently, he retired from the Army after almost 26 years of military service. Having been on multiple mobilizations and deployments himself, Ross is interested in helping other Veterans in our community. So, Ross Wise and I (Dr. Barreto, Clinical Psychologist) will be running a free support group for Veterans struggling with anxiety, depression, and PTSD. If someone you know could benefit from this group, please alert them this post. Let them know it is free. You can call or text 904-310-9652 and let us know you are interested. time is TBD based on the availability of those interested. If you are a Veteran reading this, please know we are here for you. To learn more about us go to the website of our clinic @ www.mapsintegratedwellness.com

10/26/2024

If people only knew:

It was not the one thing that caused it to be complex. It was many things.

Many things that started early on, and for many people they happened everyday.

It was their norm. As kids, they adapted, adjusted, let go, gathered, whatever it took to make the environment they were in make sense.

Lack of food.

Lack of funds.

Lack of love.

Lack of comfort.

Lack of clarity.

There often isn’t enough space to daydream of how it can be different because survival mode takes up all the energy, and time.

Abuse, neglect, abandonment, the shouting, the lack of undertsanding, no options to ask for clarity.

These people become adults and they are moving about in the world and trying to use their new words to make everything in their new world make sense, but their body still screams.

Years in survival mode. The mind and body can’t just stop coping. That’s not how minds and bodies work.

But little by little, you stop listening to people who deny the reality of what you have carried and you find ways to honor that past pain.

You start to name, reprocess, rebuild and the connection to your past creates a new path where you can find different ways to live.

Less survival. More hope.

Compasison. Curiosity.

It may seem small but each of these steps is big.

May you find exactly what you need for peace to be closeby.

I’m so glad you’re here!

***Our online group just finished a two part series on self-acceptance. We are diving into the dysfunctional family next. Grab a spot on the waitlist @ linktr.ee/natepost

10/13/2024

https://experience.hayhouseu.com/truthaboutchildhoodtrauma/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=course_runkle_hcptsd_202410_workshop&utm_content=9825&fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAaZEsm5nOaRiiholKKJiwt7Ra8Z1PGpFXRcX-_D99Ju7cAtIQUXKgyomQMw_aem_TG0_tV5_8olRCvGE6UOdAg

The Truth About Childhood Trauma:Spot the Symptoms and Start Healing Today