01/10/2023
We don't do a lot of social media posting, as most of our time is devoted to clients and continuing education. However, I thought it might be nice to share occasional common themes that come up in therapy. So I'll begin.
Theme # 1 I'm too old/ inexperienced/ out of shape to do X, Y, and Z.
As we age, we become more aware of how things have changed from our youth. We might have less overall energy, emerging or prolonged body pain, and/or we might be juggling a career, a partner and children, etc. We may regularly feel that we have competing devotions and not enough time to get everything in.
What I have noticed is a lot of analysis paralysis. When folks say they do not have time to work out, working out often to them means 5-6 times per week for 30 minutes or more. That does indeed sound like a big jump if your baseline is little to no activity. However, thinking about something more like 10 mins per day, 3 days a week is much more of a realistic start for most people. It's something that is measurable and still requires some discipline and thought but allows you to have off days and time for rest and recovery. But, in my opinion, most importantly, it gets you out of the analysis paralysis where you know you need to do something but find yourself doing nothing instead because of all you feel you need to accomplish. It's less important WHAT you do than DOING SOMETHING. What 1 thing are you ready to commit to?
Part of why I initially started offering walk and talk therapy sessions was to help folks get in some steps while also having a therapy session; we accomplished movement and therapy at the same time and also get to experience some mindfulness in action, as we look at the birds, notice the trees, pay attention to the temperature, etc.
Another example is dating. I get that many folks don't imagine finding themselves single at 40+ and having to think about dating all over again after perhaps not being single for a number of years. Often I hear "people are not going to want to date someone my age" or folks become fairly critical about the aging process, with comments such as "I used to look much better, but now I have all these wrinkles," or "I am worried that I will not perform as well as I used to in the bedroom." But love truly can happen at any age. A lot of folks, especially as they get older, are hesitant to use online dating apps and there is nothing wrong with that. While a lot of people do turn to dating apps to find local singles, many individuals are still finding love organically...BUT these are often people who have decided to engage in activities they enjoy (sports, knitting, social groups, vacation groups, recovery groups, neighborhood cleanups, etc) and work to get a bit out of their comfort zone. So if you find yourself single and struggling to find romance or love, focus on doing an activity that you enjoy and keep your eyes open for potential suitors. I have folks 60+ regularly starting brand new hobbies, beginning to date again, building strength and stamina, etc and that could be you too. You just got to figure out how to get the ball rolling for you!
Best,
Josh