Brook L. McKay, Therapy

02/23/2026

BRIDGE. Whether building or burning them, bridges are symbolically used in an endless array of metaphors. In theory, a bridge presents us with the choice of creating separation or fostering connection. What I think bridges do best is connect us to others. What we don’t always take advantage of is then connecting with others. Just as this bridge is not structurally sound without suspension cables, we are not emotionally stable without human connection.⁣

Homework: Complete one act of fostering human connection this week.⁣
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02/16/2026

LOVE. Hate does not bring us happiness, but recent research proposes feeling loved does. In the new book, "How to Feel Loved", ‘feeling loved’ (a deeply shared reciprocal connection) is distinguished from ‘being loved’ (in the way a celebrity such as Bad Bunny may be loved); the former being the key to being a happy human.⁣
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But how? Feeling more loved requires shifting our mindset from trying to fix ourselves or others to become more lovable. Rather our mindset is focused on having vulnerable conversations by sharing our authentic self, really listening, being genuinely curious, having an open heart and understanding we are complex beings. Of course, the conversation is a two-way street.⁣
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Homework: Choose one relationship in your life to approach with a new mindset of feeling loved by showing your vulnerable self to that person and encouraging that person to do the same.⁣
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Book cited:⁣
“How to Feel Loved: The Five Mindsets That Get You More of What Matters Most” by Sonja Lyubomirsky & Harry Reis ⁣

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02/09/2026

LIGHT. We may at times feel small, insignificant and powerless, but that is not our truth. Whether you believe me or not, we all have a purpose and the ability to make a difference.⁣
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When I saw this photograph, I felt empowered as I stared at the flame held in the palm of her hand. While most days it may not seem as though anything we do has meaning, you would be surprised by the impact a small gesture of encouragement has on others. Just remember from a little spark, may burst a flame.
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Homework: Be a beacon of light this week by bringing hope, wisdom or guidance to someone else – it’s contagious.⁣
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Artwork by Tia Ranginui⁣
Ka Hāpai te Rama, 2023 (In Māori, the phrase means ‘the torch is lifted’ or ‘raising the light’.)⁣
Pigment ink on Hahnemühle Photo Rag⁣
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Brook L. McKay is a limited license psychologist providing individual and couples therapy (telehealth/online therapy services only).

02/02/2026

ERASE. There is something so therapeutic about watching waves wash over the sand. I like to think the waves erase at least a few worries, if even for a moment to have some peace of mind. So much so the experience has been dubbed ‘Blue Mind’ or “Blue Space’. Not too dissimilar to the positive psychological effects of being immersed in green spaces, research shows wave-watching (or listening) can put us in a mild meditative state and activates our parasympathetic nervous system. This allows us to relax, feel more engaged and let go of some emotional baggage.⁣
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Homework: Try to find some ‘blue space’ this month.⁣
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01/26/2026

EMPOWERMENT. Ever feel powerless? You know, the feeling that you have no agency over your own life. The attitude that life has handed you your own certain circumstances, things are what they are and you are stuck forever. Whether you feel this way due to external forces or your own inability to believe you are capable, let’s flip the script.⁣
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At the individual level, empowerment is about advocating for yourself and in turn, empowering others to do the same. Obviously, you do not have control over every life outcome, but you do have the power to take control of personal circumstances by developing the skill-set to do so. This means taking action towards achievable goals, overcoming self-doubt and acquiring the tools necessary to have the strength to have agency over your own life.⁣
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Remember, empowerment is the remedy to disempowerment; start by believing in yourself as you have far more power than you think.⁣
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Homework: Make a proactive commitment to take one action this week toward changing your life or your environment.⁣

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01/19/2026

EYES. They see all and reflect all. Our eyes reflect a spectrum of emotion to the beholder. Sight accompanied by sound evokes an internal spectrum of emotion to the viewer. ⁣
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This light installation called “Eyes of the Forest’ is described as giving the feeling of gazing into a person’s eye where nothing is spoken, yet everything is understood. Sometimes in a relationship, words are unnecessary, we need only to see with empathic eyes.⁣
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Homework: Open your eyes, listen and feel.⁣
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01/12/2026

FULL CIRCLE. Repeating an aspect of your past life in a cyclical journey can be soul-healing. One of my closest friends would always say, ‘life comes full circle’. The phrase stuck with me.⁣
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To experience a full circle moment allows us the unique ability to view the past with a new perspective. Coming full circle can help heal old wounds, let us reconnect with our inner child or help us rediscover old memories in the present. The moment might be as simple as hearing an old song from our teens play or as significant as meeting up with a friend you have not seen for several years . . . it all takes us back to the start.⁣
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Homework: Name a full circle moment in your life and what it meant to you (please post in comments).⁣

NB: Pictured are recent ‘full circle’ moments in 2026. Friends who returned to NZ where we first met in 2006 and returning to a vista I last witnessed in 2011 with my friend who has since passed.⁣
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01/05/2026

INFINITY. When we embrace possibility, we feel liberated. Psychology research shows those who demonstrate a growth mindset versus a fixed mindset display greater achievement, resilience and perseverance in life. That is, if you believe your individual abilities are adaptable rather than static, then you are more likely to flourish. ⁣
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Our mind creates these psychological limits, but by viewing limits as a door that opens to infinite possibilities, we set our mind free. ⁣
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Homework: Choose to open the door to infinity and develop a growth mindset. ⁣
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12/31/2025

GOODBYE. For many, 2025 has been filled with a grave uncertainty best described as an emotional roller-coaster ride one would like to disembark, stat. Whether it is your health, job, personal safety, relationships or cost of living; nothing is foolproof. But what you do have control over is saying goodbye to the old and in with a new attitude.⁣
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Goodbye to not prioritizing your well-being. Goodbye to a job that does not value your worth. Goodbye to people who disturb your peace. Goodbye to not speaking out about injustice. Goodbye to not budgeting for your future. Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.⁣
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Homework: Say goodbye to 2025 and say hello to a more self-aware and self-empowered you in 2026!⁣
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#2026

12/25/2025

SUNSHINE. This annual singing tradition began with my son Oliver (who was born on Christmas Day) the year the pandemic started because music truly brings people together; it is after all a universal language.⁣

Rather than a sing-along this year, we wanted to remind people there is still hope in this crazy world and ‘Cover Me in Sunshine’ was the perfect choice. As the song lyrics sung by + willow say, ‘…everything will be alright’.⁣

With that said, the holiday season can be a very unsettling, stressful and lonely time for many.⁣
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Please know you are not alone out there in this crazy world and seek out the support you need: www.psychologytoday.com⁣

Homework: Find your sunshine, even in the rain.⁣
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Guitar/Vocals: Oliver (12 today!)⁣
Vocals: Brook (46)⁣
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12/22/2025

REST. Life can be exhausting, especially this time of year. Knowing when to pause prevents burnout rather than you giving up altogether due to mental, emotional and physical fatigue. ⁣
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Nobody functions at their best without an intentional recharge. Think of recharging as being more productive, than trying to do it all on an empty tank. Give yourself some grace and reevaluate your pursuit of happiness by ensuring you are prioritizing your mental health above all else this holiday season and beyond.⁣
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Homework: Rest and recharge by doing what brings you joy, then return to the task at hand. ⁣
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12/15/2025

REAL-FAKE. Is it cake or is it a car? In a world where distinguishing between what is real vs. fake has become a very blurred line, we need to maintain a grasp on reality. With false portrayals on social media, friends or co-workers faking a relationship for personal gain, repeated exposure to false ads and contradictory news media, catfishing and then some, it is no wonder we are in a perpetual state of cognitive dissonance these days. ⁣
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So how do we determine what is real anymore? It requires critical thinking and common sense. When in a state of cognitive dissonance, we want to resolve the negative feeling that emerges from a contradiction in thought, even if it means rationalizing what is not real. For example, you meet someone on a dating app who seems to be an ideal match through text and picture exchanges. You have been chatting for a month, but the person continues to provide excuses for not meeting up in person. You might tell yourself all the excuses are very reasonable because you want to believe the relationship is real, but the account is a fake. By being skeptical (questioning) rather than just accepting or rationalizing what is presented as truth can help us all differentiate between real vs. fake.⁣
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Homework: Don’t lose touch with what’s real in your life by questioning your reality.⁣
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Photo credit: Every year our son gives me a birthday cake challenge and since he is saving to buy a car simulator, the only request could be a cake.⁣

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