Brook L. McKay, Therapy

04/20/2026

CHALLENGE. When faced with a new challenge, do you view it as an opportunity or a chance to fail? This is the difference between a growth mindset and a fixed mindset. With a growth mindset, you say, ‘I can learn to do this.’ With a fixed mindset, you don’t even try because you don’t want to fail. It is the difference between viewing failure as an opportunity to grow versus failure as the limit to your abilities. ⁣
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I was not born to ride a BMX bike, but I wanted to try it for the first time. It was an opportunity to challenge myself and I knew with some effort and skills learning, I could make it around the track. I won’t be racing the ‘kids’ any time soon, but I did not allow my brain to convince me I was not capable of trying.⁣
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Homework: Challenge yourself to try something new with a growth mindset.⁣
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04/13/2026

INNOCENCE. As I marked another year around the sun this past Thursday, I took a look back at myself in my childhood photo album. Those days where I prioritized curiosity over fear, friends over family and candy over a meal.⁣
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I remember it as if it were yesterday riding all around in the iconic ‘Big Wheel’ or ‘Power Cycle’ tricycle of the 70s/80s. I was able to find joy in the simple things, inhale life with no preconceived notions and explore with unbridled enthusiasm. I was able to express how I feel with unfiltered honesty. I was able to be confident without being self-conscious. I was able to be kind without any bias. I was living my childhood innocence era as we all do.⁣
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So, then what happens? I experienced life and others showed me a new reality. I am a child at heart and use this mindset to bring me back to the innocence and joy of life when life brings me down (because it will). Others can try to steal your joy, but never forget, your inner child prevails – keep riding and making lifelong memories.⁣
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Homework: Choose to have joy in your life and be kind to others – there is a child within us all and an adult that needs healing.⁣
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04/06/2026

NOTE TO SELF. Remember, some bunny loves you!⁣
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Homework: Tell someone you love them and why.⁣
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03/30/2026

YOU’LL NEVER WALK ALONE. You must not forget this. When you feel at your lowest and struggling, just remember, you are not alone. Life is a shared experience.⁣
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When you walk through a storm⁣
Keep your chin up high⁣
And don’t be afraid of the dark.⁣
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At the end of the storm⁣
Is a golden sky⁣
And the sweet, silver song of a lark.⁣
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Walk on through the wind,⁣
Walk on through the rain,⁣
Though your dreams be tossed and blown.⁣
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Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart,⁣
And you’ll never walk alone!⁣
You’ll never walk alone.⁣
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Homework: Walk on with HOPE in your heart.⁣
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03/23/2026

EUPHORIA. Remember a time where you felt a great sense of elation and extreme happiness? In life those moments can be few and far between, but when experienced, it is pure magic.⁣
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For many, music can be euphoric. It has the power to transcend. It unites people. It creates a shared experience. It can be healing. It allows you to forget your troubles, if just for a moment. It allows you to remember some of the most memorable moments, if just for a moment too.⁣
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Homework: Take a moment and think about a song that creates a sense of euphoria and transport yourself there by playing the tune on full volume.⁣
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Video: Live performance of SYNTHONY in Auckland, New Zealand by the Auckland Philharmonia conducted by Sarah-Grace Williams // www.synthony.com⁣
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03/16/2026

BROKEN. As individuals we are composed of fragmented pieces. To the outside world we appear whole, but the fragments of our unique experiences remain within. These experiences have shaped the person we have become. Some of these experiences we repress because they are too painful or make us feel broken. When we choose to try and heal from painful experiences rather than ignore, we become stronger as a whole.⁣
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Homework: Think about one fragment of your life you would like to try to heal. Write about it, talk about it, create art about it – start processing it.⁣
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Artwork entitled ‘Standing Broken Men’ by artist Rashid Johnson, 2021, in The Cleveland Museum of Art⁣
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03/09/2026

CRYING. It is not a sign of weakness. When we feel anxious, depressed, stressed, lonely and so on, we either deal with the emotion or we ignore it. Research says – let it out. Crying can be cathartic and numbing these emotions is not in the long run.⁣
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Shedding tears is a uniquely human behavior in times of sadness and joy. It lets us release tension, regulate our emotional state and elicit support from others. Physiologically when strong emotions flood the body, it triggers a stress response as our fight-or-flight system reaches a peak. Crying releases this stress and allows our nervous system to regulate and relax. In turn, when we see another person crying, our perception is this person may be hurting or struggling in some capacity. Instinctually you want to support this person, which is why crying can also draw social support.⁣
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Homework: Release with a good cry instead of suppressing your emotions.⁣
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03/02/2026

SPINNING: Ever feel as though you are stuck in an ever-revolving loop? Don’t worry you are not alone. Eat. Sleep. Repeat. It is a predictable and safe existence that allows you to feel a sense of control in your daily life.⁣
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We all have patterns of behavior we would like to break or thoughts about doing something different in our lives, but it is much easier to go to our ‘default setting’ than change. Change can be overwhelming, which is why so many of us fail to get off the hamster wheel, but it doesn’t have to be. It is about breaking things down into smaller, more manageable parts to create the change we desire.⁣
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Homework: Make one change in your daily routine this week in attempt to switch things up. ⁣
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02/23/2026

BRIDGE. Whether building or burning them, bridges are symbolically used in an endless array of metaphors. In theory, a bridge presents us with the choice of creating separation or fostering connection. What I think bridges do best is connect us to others. What we don’t always take advantage of is then connecting with others. Just as this bridge is not structurally sound without suspension cables, we are not emotionally stable without human connection.⁣

Homework: Complete one act of fostering human connection this week.⁣
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02/16/2026

LOVE. Hate does not bring us happiness, but recent research proposes feeling loved does. In the new book, "How to Feel Loved", ‘feeling loved’ (a deeply shared reciprocal connection) is distinguished from ‘being loved’ (in the way a celebrity such as Bad Bunny may be loved); the former being the key to being a happy human.⁣
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But how? Feeling more loved requires shifting our mindset from trying to fix ourselves or others to become more lovable. Rather our mindset is focused on having vulnerable conversations by sharing our authentic self, really listening, being genuinely curious, having an open heart and understanding we are complex beings. Of course, the conversation is a two-way street.⁣
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Homework: Choose one relationship in your life to approach with a new mindset of feeling loved by showing your vulnerable self to that person and encouraging that person to do the same.⁣
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Book cited:⁣
“How to Feel Loved: The Five Mindsets That Get You More of What Matters Most” by Sonja Lyubomirsky & Harry Reis ⁣

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02/09/2026

LIGHT. We may at times feel small, insignificant and powerless, but that is not our truth. Whether you believe me or not, we all have a purpose and the ability to make a difference.⁣
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When I saw this photograph, I felt empowered as I stared at the flame held in the palm of her hand. While most days it may not seem as though anything we do has meaning, you would be surprised by the impact a small gesture of encouragement has on others. Just remember from a little spark, may burst a flame.
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Homework: Be a beacon of light this week by bringing hope, wisdom or guidance to someone else – it’s contagious.⁣
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Artwork by Tia Ranginui⁣
Ka Hāpai te Rama, 2023 (In Māori, the phrase means ‘the torch is lifted’ or ‘raising the light’.)⁣
Pigment ink on Hahnemühle Photo Rag⁣
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Brook L. McKay is a limited license psychologist providing individual and couples therapy (telehealth/online therapy services only).

02/02/2026

ERASE. There is something so therapeutic about watching waves wash over the sand. I like to think the waves erase at least a few worries, if even for a moment to have some peace of mind. So much so the experience has been dubbed ‘Blue Mind’ or “Blue Space’. Not too dissimilar to the positive psychological effects of being immersed in green spaces, research shows wave-watching (or listening) can put us in a mild meditative state and activates our parasympathetic nervous system. This allows us to relax, feel more engaged and let go of some emotional baggage.⁣
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Homework: Try to find some ‘blue space’ this month.⁣
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