Bryan Counseling, Jonah & Sara

05/29/2025

05/28/2025

When you had to “take whatever you could get” to survive as a child,
you may keep thinking that you just have to “take whatever you can get.”
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When you learn how to survive on very little,
When you have to take in every semblance of love or care in a “at least something is better than nothing” kind of way,
you may not even know that it doesn’t have to be that way (it always has been, after all).
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You may keep thinking that tiny morsels and scraps is all that life will ever feed you.
You may think you will always have to crawl on your knees to find the most mynute piece of kindness to ingest.
You may think that deprivation is “normal.”
You may think that to ask for true sustenance in relationships is a grand, entitled request (too much, a burden).
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You may not know when things are unkind towards you.
You may not know when relationships aren’t reciprocal,
or when you are trying to carry both sides,
or that you don’t have to chase down love and care all the time.
You may not know that some people want to give it AND have the capacity to.
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When you learn to take whatever you can get,
because you absolutely had to,
because life offered you NO other choice,
because ANY form of being seen was better than the utter pain of invisibility,
you may not know any other way of being or how to satiate true emotional hunger
or how to even allow the depth of your hunger to be known.
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What then would it mean to know these parts of you that learned to beautifully and brilliantly and miraculously get by with very, very little?
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Can you allow yourself some time to see them, to inquire what it’s been like to be them?
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To hold them and say,
“What do you need me to know? How do your stories inform me? How can I care well for you?”
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05/27/2025

At the core of complex trauma is a person who was wanting and needing to love and be loved and was not loved well.
They sought love and were hurt.
Hopes for tenderness were used against them.
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I specialize in working with those who have complex trauma and CPTSD.
Complex trauma usually means a person was subjected to long term relational trauma by someone (or many people) who were supposed to care for their little hearts, minds and bodies.
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And what does this do to a person?
One sad reality of of complex trauma is that it often causes a person to turn their healthy and beautiful and good desires against themselves.
“IF ONLY I had not wanted to be loved or to love, I would have never known that kind of pain,” they reason.
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It is the innate desire for connection, to be attuned to, to be seen, that causes a person to go near to their abuser (oftentimes their caregiver) over and over again.
The desire to be loved causes them to continue to seek out, and be harmed, repeatedly.
But what other choice did they have?
The heart is born ready to be loved, and in homes devoid of love, the heart will continue to seek nonetheless (at least for a time).
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A part of healing is reclaiming the beauty and goodness of a person’s innate desire to love and be loved.
It was not the desire that was bad, but because of the suffering associated with it, a person does believe the desire is bad and scary and will lead to further harm.

05/25/2025

New IFS consult opportunities are launching soon for clinicians who are IFS curious, informed, trained or seeking certification! Check out our website to learn about the opportunities!https://www.bryancounseling.com/consultation

05/25/2025

05/25/2025

Jonah Bryan, an IFS Institute trained LPC, is the amazing supervisor for our employees and oversees the internship program at Bryan Counseling Inc. He leads with wisdom, kindness and some good laughter. Oh, and he’s also an amazing counselor too!

05/25/2025

Aaron Schuler has immediate openings for new clients! Feel free to reach out if he is a good fit!

05/25/2025

Sara Bryan loves the work she gets to do as an Approved Clinical Consultant with the IFS Institute. If you are curious to learn more about the consultation services she provides head to the Bryan Counseling website at the following link: https://www.bryancounseling.com/consultation