05/23/2026
There was a time in my life when I genuinely believed leadership meant being the biggest hammer in the room. My mentality was simple- be massive, have a dominant presence, outwork everyone around you, and be the guy who could run straight through problems when everybody else slowed down. Carry more weight. Take on more responsibility. Be harder to kill, harder to break, harder to replace. If something needed done, do it yourself. If things got difficult, shoulder the burden and keep moving forward.
At the time, I thought that was leadership.
Truthfully, I thought the goal was to become the man everyone depended on. The one people looked toward when things got ugly, uncertain, or dangerous. I wanted to be the guy who could absorb pressure, make decisions under stress, and keep moving no matter what. In many ways, that mindset served me well. There are seasons in life, war, and leadership where grit and aggression matter. Sometimes the mission requires a hammer.
But war, time on an ODA, and hard earned experience taught me something I didn’t fully understand when I was younger.
Leadership is not about becoming so capable that everyone needs you. It is about developing others so thoroughly that eventually they don’t.
That realization took time for me. Real leadership is not found in being the biggest badass in the room. It is found in mentoring, teaching, correcting, and preparing others to step into responsibility long before they think they are ready.
The best leaders I served under invested in the men around them because they understood something important- one day they would be gone, and the team still had to function.
That is leadership.
You should always be working yourself out of a job.
