06/16/2022
I vividly remember my therapist saying this to me 5 years ago. I had a visceral reaction to it because at the time I believed that if I wasn’t giving everything to all of my commitments I was failing.
To this day I’m grateful she called me out. I was in my final year of grad school, working, looking for a new apartment, navigating moving in with my partner, applying for jobs and there I was in her office saying I felt like I wasn’t doing enough.
(Hi I’m Lia and I struggle with all-or-nothing thinking and setting limits for myself)
Life can be really challenging. Things happen outside of our control, but we continue to set high expectations for ourselves because that’s what we’ve been taught by family, employers, cultural beliefs, society at large, etc.
During those challenging moments, it’s okay to just do the bare minimum.
The bare minimum means only keeping up with the responsibilities that absolutely must get done.
Everyone’s bare minimum is different; it’s based on our basic needs and the basic needs of the people who depend on us.
You might have to show up at work, but you can say no if a coworker asks you to cover their shift on your day off.
You might have to feed your family, but you don’t have to spend an hour cooking when there’s a perfectly good frozen pizza in the fridge.
You might have to get out of bed, shower and feed yourself but you don’t have to wake up at 6 am, do your whole skincare routine and make a smoothie bowl.
You’re not failing if have a bad day and that day won’t get any better if you’re criticizing yourself for struggling/being a human.
When you allow yourself to do the bare minimum, you’re conserving your energy, and eventually you’ll get back on track.
Now go make that frozen pizza.
