The Counseling Collective Fort Worth

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The Counseling Collective Fort Worth

Compassionately counseling women in Fort Worth, Texas.

We are a private counseling practice specializing in maternal mental health, trauma therapy, grief and loss, and anxiety issues.

07/14/2021

Ever wonder where those feelings of resentment are coming from? Here is a list with some ideas of where our feelings of resentment may be originating from...⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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07/12/2021

The person who overbooks their schedule to have all hours of the day filled.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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The person who has difficulty navigating moments without available distractions (i.e. phone, tv, computer).⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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The person who dedicates all of their time to school or work.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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We all do things to step away from overwhelming or uncomfortable feelings which is actually healthy and adaptive.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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It becomes problematic when that's all we are doing, consciously or unconsciously running away from our discomfort. Here is a gentle reminder... that when we actively avoid temporary discomfort, we unconsciously create behaviors to keep us disconnected from our thoughts, feelings and behaviors.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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07/09/2021

"I don't know how you do it."⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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We usually say this when someone is dealing with something really really tough... an injury, divorce, illness, change, loss, death.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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The truth is, when people are faced with the unimaginable in their lives, you often don't have a choice, you just have to do it. You adjust, you learn, you lean on others... it's a brave and resilient act, but sometimes there isn't another option.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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07/08/2021

Far too often, postpartum is an afterthought... Here are some ways that you can advocate for yourself postpartum during your prenatal appointments with your doctor:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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✨What are the available resources if I am having trouble with breastfeeding?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
✨What are the available resources if I am concerned about postpartum depression or anxiety?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
✨Is there pelvic physical therapy available as I recover from birth?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
✨Do you have any materials on recovering from birth and/or symptoms to be on the lookout for?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
✨When will I be seen in the office after delivery?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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What else would you add to the list of questions to help you advocate for your postpartum journey?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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05/21/2021

Motherhood and careers... such a tricky subject and experience as a new mom. No matter what you have chosen as a mother, to continue with your career, to quit, to pause, still undecided about what you want to do, not having any choice but to go back to work when you would rather be home with your baby, this emotional experience of motherhood is complicated. No matter where you find yourself, you are experiencing some form of loss as you become a mother. Which of these losses do you relate the most with? It is important to name our losses and take time to grieve the loss of the people we were before in order to ultimately embrace the new person we are becoming.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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05/19/2021

Motherhood is both beautiful and brutal. When learning how to cherish, feed, and care for a new baby, new mothers are simultaneously needing to be cherished, fed, and cared for... As magical as the transition to motherhood can be, much like other life transitions, it is also awkward, painful, and messy! We need a village to help us as we learn to be mothers, who is in your village? Are you being nurtured and mothered? What do you most need right now? How could you get that need met?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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05/17/2021

A dual awareness helps us to hold in our head two seemingly conflicting ideas, but it takes practice! By shifting our thought patterns, accepting and acknowledging our current circumstances AND seeing the good that is simultaneously occurring we can decrease our experience of suffering when facing difficult or challenging circumstances.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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05/13/2021

These stressor are some (but not all) of the most common sources of stress that moms feel unprepared for prior to giving birth to their baby. These are the things that weren't necessarily covered in any of your birthing classes, your friends might not have told you, or you may not have been able to fully comprehend what each of these things would feel like. Everyone deserves to feel supported and empowered throughout their parenting journey, and the beginning can often be extremely stressful. Reach out for help today!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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05/11/2021

Parents of children with various disabilities, complex medical needs, and/or a life-limiting diagnosis often face an uphill climb advocating and seeking support for both themselves, their families, and their children.
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They must care for their children in ways that move outside of the "typical" parenting experience. They become...
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〰️Medical caregiver
〰️Transport service
〰️Financial support
〰️Nurse
〰️Care coordinator
〰️Insurance support
〰️Advocate in education
〰️Relationship manager
〰️Communicator
〰️Medical decision maker
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Parents need support... but it is often hard to find. One on one counseling can provide the space for parents to take a breath, gain coping skills for the daily stresses of caregiving, and learn new ways to not only advocate for their children but for themselves as well.
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04/09/2021

QUESTION:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
What causes them?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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ANSWER:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Scientists say the likely cause is an interplay of genes, stress and the hormones that surge during pregnancy and plummet right after childbirth. Some women are genetically predisposed to react more strongly to the hormonal fluctuations and some are more sensitive to stress involving their families, finances, work and other circumstances. Women with a personal or family history of depression or other psychiatric disorders are considered at greater risk.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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04/08/2021

QUESTION:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
How common are they?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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ANSWER:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Studies suggest that during or after pregnancy at least one in eight, and as many as one in five, women develop symptoms of depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder or a combination.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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04/07/2021

QUESTION:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
When do perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs) happen?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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ANSWER:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Doctors used to say that these disorders began within a few weeks after childbirth, but new findings show that as many as half of cases actually begin during pregnancy and that symptoms can arise any time within a year after a baby is born. Some women experience symptoms only with their first child, some only with a subsequent birth and some with every pregnancy.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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04/06/2021

QUESTION:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
What are perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs)?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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ANSWER:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Maternal mental illness can include what is commonly known as postpartum depression, but can also take the form of anxiety, bipolar disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, or, in rarer cases, psychosis. Several of these disorders may be experienced at once and symptoms can vary from mild depression to thoughts of su***de; or from intense worry to terrifying visions of causing harm to the baby. Most women never hurt their babies, but their stress can undermine their ability to care for their children, and can affect children’s emotional well-being, social behavior and cognitive skills.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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04/05/2021

While the adage that “nothing can prepare you for parenthood” is mostly true, there are some things you can do to get into the right head space before you have kids. Preparing mentally and emotionally during pregnancy can reduce the risk of mood disorders (like postpartum anxiety and depression) and ease the transition to parenthood. There’s a shift in identity that comes with becoming a parent, and letting go of Instagram-glossy notions of the perfect pregnancy or birth can help immensely with this monumental life change. What can you do to help navigate your new reality as a parent?
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〰️Manage expectations
〰️Connect with your partner
〰️Establish parenting values
〰️Face fears
〰️Overestimate recovery time
〰️Try to sleep
〰️Build social bond --- in person and online
〰️Know when to worry
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03/24/2021

All those involved in adoption and permanency have been forced to give up control. Birth/first parents may emerge from the adoption and permanency process feeling victimized and powerless. Adoptive and permanency parents have lost control over when, how and whom to parent. Adoptees have no choice about being adopted and must cope with the haphazard nature of how they joined their particular family.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Mastery includes bringing into conscious awareness one's belief system about the self, others and the world. With increased self-awareness one gains power and control over decisions, feelings, beliefs, goals, and actions. If constellation members have actively utilized the information and tools for each of the core issues, they are well on the way to mastery. Getting to mastery means the constellation members are in experiencing more a sense of control over their own life, they are making choices about where they way to go and how they want to get there.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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03/23/2021

Intimacy involves risk, vulnerability and the belief that the self is valuable, resilient, and worthy of love. Intimate relationships play a central role in the overall human experience, attachment in these relationships requires trust, respect, acceptance, empathy, and reciprocity.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Identity and intimacy are linked. As each individual person within the adoption constellation clarify and re-clarify who they are, their ability to relate to others, forgive others, embrace others, trust in others (and intimacy) is enhanced.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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If earlier core issues have not been addressed, an individual may not know themselves well enough to know what they "really need" or what they have to offer the other person in an emotionally intimate relationship. It is difficult for any person to feel deeply connected if fear of loss, shame and guilt, sadness or anger attached to grief is being experienced in the present. It is extremely difficult to be emotionally available to a partner or child when one's emotional energy is being absorbed by the core issues! All adoption constellation members have be impacted by a core loss that changed their identity and may have led to intimacy challenges, this makes the emotionally taxing work of moving through the seven core issues incredibly important for all constellation members.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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03/22/2021

The sweet side of the core issues of in adoption and permanency begins with identity. Healthy identity formation allows constellation members to experience the gains in adoption and permanency, If, however, constellation members have not fully addressed the initial four core issues (loss, rejection, shame/guilt, and grief), identity challenges may occur. The final three core issues are focused on creating empowerment and healing, shifting from losses to gains.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Identity is defined by both what a person is and what a person is not. Birth/first parents are both parents and then not parents; adoptive/permanent parents are not parents to a specific child and then are parents to that child and children born into one family, then become part of another family and take on the new family's identity.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Identity formation is a lifelong journey that can be supported by the creating safe spaces for every member of the adoption constellation to reclaim the missing parts of their story in an authentic and meaningful way.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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03/19/2021

In the rearranging of family trees through adoption and permanency, parents are grieving unborn children, children are grieving as their understanding of what happened to them unfolds, first/birth parents are grieving for their child/baby who they hope is alive and well, but whom they are separated from.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Acknowledging an overwhelming loss, and the accompanying pain and suffering, allows people to release the hurt and attend to the wound. It illuminates a truth in your life. Grief is about acceptance, adaptation, and endurance; it changes you.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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03/18/2021

Shame reflects how we feel about ourselves and guilt involves an awareness that our actions may have injured someone else. Shame relates to self, guilt to others.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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To address shame, you need to create a corrective emotional experiences as the antidote. This happens in relationships that are authentic, dependable, and honest... where the shameful wound that has been experienced can be identified and deconstructed from an individual's internalized belief system and identity.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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03/17/2021

Rejection in the world of permanency and adoption is most frequently experienced as a form of social rejection. Rejection is a perceived loss of social acceptance, group inclusion or a sense of belonging. Humans have a fundamental need to belong, secondary only to nourishment and safety needs. People get their most basic needs met through human connectedness.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Adoption constellation members may personalize their core losses in order to gain a deeper understanding of what happened to them and what role they may have played in those events. As a result of constellation members' experiences of rejection associated with permanency and loss, individuals share that they feel judged, criticized, unwanted, different, less than, left out, not part of, not good enough and/or disliked.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Learning how to express feelings of rejection (naming, describing, modeling, validating) in a healthy way, in relationships with others who are safe and trustworthy, is one of the many ways that various members of the adoption and permanency constellation can move through feelings of rejection.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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03/16/2021

Loss begins the lifelong, intergenerational journey in adoption and permanency. Adoptive, foster, and kinship families are created through loss. All adoption and constellation members (this includes adoptees, first fathers and mothers, original extended families, adoptive extended families etc.) share in having experienced at least one major, life-altering loss. The core/original loss is experienced as a traumatic event that strike's at the center of a person's being.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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AMBIGUOUS LOSS - an injury that occurs without culture. Even in an open adoption, all parties are mourning the loss of the role but not the loss of a person, which creates ambiguity. Ambiguous loss often drives individuals to create an internal narrative in order to understand and cope with fantasies or fears.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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VICARIOUS LOSS - traumatic memories and experiences that are embedded into one's senses are outside explicit, conscious memory. These losses and traumas are inherited without conscious intent or awareness and can impact every aspect of one's interpersonal skills and relationships.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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SECONDARY LOSS - losses that are rooted in our day-to-day lives that bring back the original memory of the traumatic loss. They often catch us off guard as they can be triggered by sensory memories.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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If there is no recognition of the losses, people remain in pain and susceptible to limiting their potential and their relationships. In order to live with the unaddressed losses, people may become emotionally numb to avoid painful feelings and could even resort to self-medicating or other self-destructive behaviors. Healing requires both acknowledging and confronting these core life-altering losses.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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03/15/2021

Adoption is a complex but important topic to address from an emotional and developmental perspective. As a culture, it is often easiest for us to reduce complex and nuanced issues into simplified dualistic good/bad categories. Often the examination of deep emotions is avoided, people are encouraged to "move on" and "get over it" at the cost our people's emotional, intellectual, developmental, and spiritual growth. The is particularly complex in the adoption community.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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The Seven Core Issues in Adoption and Permanency (developed by Sharon Kaplan Rosxia and Allison Davis Maxon) is a helpful tool to utilize when attempting to normalize issues, feelings, and emotions experienced in all forms of adoption and permanency. These core issues describe both a STRUCTURE and a PROCESS through which a person can more fully understand a path through adoption and permanency.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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The STRUCTURE is the the wagon wheel which moves individuals along in life. The hub of the wheel is the center and represents the core issue of loss. Loss begins the journey. It requires an acknowledgment that everyone (birth/first families, adoptive families, and adoptees themselves) lost something significant as a part of adoption and permanency.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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The Seven Core Issues is also a PROCESS. Identifying the original and subsequent losses in one's life allows an individual to bring the core issues into consciousness.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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02/10/2021

Thoughts are not facts. Feelings are not evidence. Thoughts and feelings ARE information, but they are information about your internal experience, not objective truths about the outside world. This is why getting hooked onto our thoughts and feelings can sometimes get us into trouble.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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It’s tempting to try to get rid of these kind of thoughts and feelings, but that often backfires (i.e., don’t think of a pink elephant). An alternative approach is to gently unhook from the painful thoughts and feelings so we can examine them with curiosity. Try the following phrases:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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1. “I’m having the thought that…”. I’m having the thought that I am stupid. I’m having the thought that nobody likes me. I’m having the thought that nothing will ever get better.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
2. “The story I’m telling myself is…”. The story I’m telling myself is that everyone else knows what they’re doing. The story I’m telling myself is that my past is my destiny. The story I’m telling myself is that you don’t love me.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
3. “I’m having the feeling of…”. I’m having the feeling of guilt. I’m having the feeling of shame. I’m having the feeling of panic. I’m having the feeling of foreboding. I’m having the feeling of loneliness.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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These phrases don’t make painful thoughts or feelings go away, but they do give you greater freedom in how you respond to those thoughts and feelings

02/08/2021

Nothing is working for women especially mothers, especially mothers of color! The numbers don’t tell the whole story. Women have been shoved out of the economy to go care for the home, and you would think we are in the 1950s but we aren’t. “According to the National Women’s Law Center, women have lost 5.4 million jobs since the pandemic began. Not only are their jobs vanishing, but women, faced with adding caretaking and virtual-schooling duties to their professional responsibilities, are quitting. Nearly 2.1 million women have left the labor force entirely since February, meaning they are no longer looking for employment and no longer counted in unemployment statistics. Those women may seem as if they’re making a choice to step back, but as often as not, the choice isn’t really one. It’s not a choice to care for your children when schools are closed and child care costs as much as your take-home pay. Experts call that kind of rock-and-a-hard-place calculus “constrained choice” even as they acknowledge that the term is inadequate.” (via )💔 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Address

1751 River Run, Suite 227
Fort Worth, TX
76107

Telephone

+18174020217

Website

http://www.thecounselingcollectivefw.com/

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