Own Your Evolution

08/20/2025

📍 Out of Office (but still in the work zone 📕 )

I’m stepping out of my therapy office this week and stepping into learning more about EMDR – attachment-focused edition 🧠✨with Dr. Laurel Parnell.

I’m updating my “therapist software” so I can come back with fresh tools, deeper insight, and maybe even a few brain facts you didn’t know you needed. 👀

So if you don’t see me in my chair, it’s because I’m in a different kind of seat; the students. 🎒📚& I love it here so much.

I'll be bringing back all the good healing vibes 💫

07/28/2025

💌 From my inbox (from a few months ago) 💌

"If you're not someone who gatekeeps your routines, would you share what you do to keep healthy and glowy. I'm especially needing guidance in my 50's?"

🌿 I do not gatekeep my wellness routine. I share my healthy habit stacking system with anyone who asks. (The only thing I gatekeep: the words written by me on my ownyourevolution.com site and my Psychology Today profile that have been outright stolen a few times. (Insert my salty - spicy face 😤)

⛅️ My Rise & Shine goes like this:

👅 I start every morning by a stainless steel tongue scraper to remove overnight build up.
🧼 Wash & Gua Sha my face with the delicious oils from Living Libations. I've used these oils for at least a decade. My fave is the Seabuckthorn.
🍋 Using my anti-inflammatory/detoxifing elixir - that I make every Sunday (will put my recipe in the notes....) I mix 2-3 TBS of the aforementioned elixir + 2 oz of fresh aloe vera juice + Sakara Life mineral drops in a glass of warm or room temp water to give my body an internal shower.
☀️ Often I sit in the sun for 10-20 minutes listening to the birds & day prepping. If interested, read the research on the effects of morning sun by Andrew Huberman.
🧖 Sauna or red light few days week and/or use De La Heart lymph massage tool with body oils. I rotate through these practices during the week.
✨ I've recently partnered with a skincare meets clean wellness line (Oliveda - Olive Tree Pharmacy) that I have not only fallen in love with but has also been seriously effective. My skin is in full glow up mode. Its a line from the EU that checked every box: clean, potent, sustainable. Link in notes.

🧘‍♂️ That's a start to the rituals that have keep me well (haven't been sick since Covid in 2021) + keep my 52 year old bod happy + humming. Keep asking. I have much to share. ♥️

07/13/2025

Eek! I have been out of the country enjoying travel & missed being nominated for Sass Choice Awards 2025 under Personal Services. Voting is only open daily until 7/20.

Thank you. Thank you!

https://sassmagazine.com/choiceawards/

06/18/2025

🚩 🛑 Big Cult Energy ⛓️ 🧎

🙋‍♀️ Questions arising in my area of the world: 🙋‍♂️

~Have I accidentally joined cult mentality?
~What do cults look like?
~How do I get the hell out of this cult & save face? I'm embarrassed about my choices. It was branded so well.
~This is NOT what i signed up for; I have buyers remorse.

🫵🏼You may be caught up in a cult or cult mentality if:

👮 There is Authoritarian Leadership:

Cults typically have a charismatic leader who demands unquestioning obedience and is seen as infallible. Dissent or questioning is often discouraged or punished.

🧛‍♀️Devaluation of Outside World & specific groups of people:

Cults often demonize or portray the outside world as dangerous, evil, or corrupt, reinforcing the need to stay within the group for safety and salvation. They create “crisis” to position themselves as the “savior.”

💰 Financial Exploitation:

Groups may pressure members to give large sums of money, donate all their assets, or work long hours for little or no pay. This benefits the leaders as it gives more power, resources & emboldens further.

🤖Mind Control Techniques:

Some cults use psychological manipulation to influence members' thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

🥷Black and White Thinking:

Cults promote a simplistic view of the world, dividing it into good and evil, with their group/philosophy always on the side of good.

🆘Suppression of Doubt and Criticism:

Members may be discouraged from questioning the group's beliefs or practices, and critical thinking is often seen as a sign of weakness or disloyalty.

🖤Fear and Manipulation:

Cults often use fear and intimidation to control members, playing on their insecurities and anxieties.

💔Unrealistic Promises:

Cults may make grandiose promises of protection from the “bad others”, enlightenment, salvation, wealth or worldly success. They also offer a sense of belonging but it comes with rules & regs on how to be & insists on group thinking vs individual expression. (Often creating a host of mental health issues.)

Therapists are hearing/seeing an increase of those wanting a safe place to discuss cult concerns & help removing themselves from cult mentality.

Do not hesitate to turn off the TV, find news sources outside the US, reach out to pen pals in other countries, educate yourself, use CRITICAL thinking skills (if higher education did not teach you how to critically think....please learn.) Talk to trusted others about your concerns.

🪴There is fresh air, new perspectives, relief & community on the other side. Ones that are not fed by fear & mistrust of other humans.

🧘 You will be able to breathe again. 🧘‍♂️

05/09/2025

🪴 (More on) May & Mental Health Awareness Month 🌱

🤖 "I've been using AI in between therapy sessions & it leaves me spinning. It doesn't ground me like when I'm doing therapy in real life with a real person." ~Anonymous human (recently)

🖥️ Many clients are turning to ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE (AI) to gain Emotional Intelligence.

💚 However, information is not wisdom, is it not connecting to your higher self, it doesn't hold the heart centered presence that it takes for growth, healing & expansion. (However, it's amazing for facts, writing prompts, research, & overall idea generation.)

🎶 It cannot see your tone, affect nor interpret body language. It does not read the music under YOUR BRAND of notes. The notes are what gives a real, live therapist tremendous amounts of information to wisely guide sessions.

🫦In sessions, we are listening to your words but also watching how your body responds to them, noticing what activates you, how your tone is higher when nervous or maybe outside the truth of how you really feel. This is pure gold in terms of helping you develop insights into how you tick, bringing to light things that are potentially outside your awareness.

♥️ We are attuning to YOU & your nervous system so you know what it feels to experience true connection; especially when talking about shameful or hurtful things in your life.

⛔️ AI doesn't offer that. And that’s a really big deal.

🚀 Be very aware of the difference between Artificial Intelligence and & Real Intelligence. Choose accordingly.



A bow of appreciation & respect to Alison J Bomba, PsyD, LLC, Trauma Specialists of Maryland, LLC, Melissa Lajeunesse Ward & Aaron Vander Meer at Clearview Communities for taking the time to curate & highlight the differences between Real Therapy & ARTIFICIAL intelligence.

Real Therapy,Real Change The Real Therapy, Real Change Initiative is dedicated to promoting access to high-quality, evidence-based therapy that fosters real, lasting transformation. In a world where mental health support is increasingly commodified by large, impersonal platforms and AI-driven soluti...

05/01/2025

🌱💚 A wee chat about May & Mental Health Awareness 🪴 💚

🧠 Most of us know mental health looks like depression, anxiety, bipolar & PTSD.

🤔 However, there are many sneaky expressions of mental health issues that go unnoticed and unattended. This creates internal confusion when our neuroception picks up on something that feels off in someone ......but doesn't look off. (Neuroception = our nervous system's automatic + unconscious ability to detect emotional/physical safety or danger. Simply put, it's our body's built in surveillance system for detecting threat or safety without having to stop & think about it.)

👩‍⚕️ It can look like a kind & wise woman with the clinical lingo who has difficulties in relationships/friendship due to perceptual deficits/paranoia. This mental health issue often weaves together a faulty narrative for the person where they often feel persecuted, left out and/or insulted.

🧛 It can look like a polished leader who espouses big words + ideas but is self consumed, grandiose and/or untethered. One who endangers others with a huge smile & no integrity.

🏡 It can look like someone who has a beautifully appointed house but hides items in spaces behind the scenes because letting go may feel like loss/grief.

⚠️ It can look like someone who believes in many conspiracy theories & uses their precious time collecting things to keep them safe "just in case." They live their life in a state of defense & fear. (Not to be confused with being prepared for unseen circumstances.)

👦 It can be a child who has been poisoned by one parent & then develops deep trust issues & has difficulties navigating reality.

🪄It is the woman who is constantly tweaking her body, her face, + every nook and cranny to put together an artifice of perfection (armor) that she believes will protect her from rejection/abandonment.

💚 Mental health has so many faces. Entering into a healing space (which does not have to be therapy) can support in putting down burdens & gaining perspective. It can help challenge distorted thinking & heal the spirit.

❤️‍🩹 Why is this important? Personal healing is collective healing. When we learn to truly connect to ourselves- we tend to have healthier more vibrant relationships with others. This is more important than ever at this time in history.

And know that I am doing MY OWN work to undo old ways to add more brightness & lightness to my world + the world. It's all of our responsibilities.



Photo credit: Ak's GraFix & Photo

10/24/2024

✌️ Defy the Algorithm: a primer on how to do so in life & social media. 📱

💻 Many have encouraged & taken the time to teach me about social media algorithms- I get why it's important. Yet my spirit resists. My "social self" (as Martha Beck calls it) wants to adhere to "the rules." Yet my "essential self" wants to do what feels purposeful & intentional in real time. And only that.

🧘 It tracks with what I teach in my healing spaces: life has a plethora of suggestions on how to rise to the top of the company, the newsfeed, the food chain. Do what feels self honoring to you. It's depleting + depressing to do what is prescribed when it doesn't suit your soul. Doing what works for your sweet self is what keeps you metaphorically "rising to the top" of your life.

💡 Other tips & tricks for saving your online sanity: do you know how to put your phone on grayscale? Ask Siri. She is your personal assistant who will do the work for you. This setting makes it infinitely less addicting to look at your phone as it removes the playground of saturated colors. (You also have to kindly ask Siri to take your phone OFF grayscale when you're done putting your phone on time out.)

The Great Unfollow feature: whether it's your salty auntie who posts angry elf memes or the friend you love but who saturates the newsfeed.....the "Unfollow feature" has been delightful in keeping the virtual living room all cleaned up.

Apply liberally.

10/07/2024

🗞️ Bless my heart. I watched the news today. 📰

🔍 One thing is crystal clear, the God of some people’s understanding could not be f u r t h e r from the God(dess) of mine.

🕊️ I grew up in & quickly right out of itchy, restrictive, fear/control driven, patriarchal ideology & it has consistently tasted of sweet freedom.

💫 I help others get out from under the weight of religious trauma & the often suffocating belief that love feels like pain/control/guilt/righteous judgement (insert the *potentially* well meaning but harmful teachings of James Dobson.)

🌸 The God(dess) of my understanding is a love & kindness dealer. 🩷

10/01/2024

"What does therapy look like in your office?" ~ Psychology Today question

🍃 My answer: Healing comes in many shapes & forms in my experience. It is not one size fits all.

🧘 Some sessions, it looks like Legs up the Wall yoga pose while doing alternate nostril breathing to regulate the nervous system before verbal processing begins.

🗣️ Talking about a highly activating incident in a purposely slow, methodical manner to slow down the nervous system & know what it feels like to stay in your “home” when hard situations arise.

🎦 Watching a clip of something a client found hysterical & relates to a theme they've worked on in therapy; combined with the kind of laughing that makes our bellies ache + tears stream down our face.

👁️ Loads of EMDR (eye movement desensitization & reprocessing. Mixed in with IFS (Internal Family Systems.)

🥗 Lifestyle recommendations courtesy of Ayurveda training at The Shakti School.

💃 There may have been a time, music was playing in the waiting area & dancing ensued to help the body shake off a very p a I n f u l situation.

🌿Don't be fooled to think healing comes in only one form. 🌈

09/25/2024

🪵 🍂 🦔 Autumn + Fall-elujah 🦉 🌻 🍄‍🟫

🍂 Someone asked me yesterday: what do I add to my fall routine? 🍁 (They know I'm a highly routinized lassie.)

🪔Warming spices: chai, cinnamon, cardamom, nutmeg, cloves, ginger, cumin + turmeric. According to Ayurveda, these spices warm the body when the fall weather hits, support digestion & lends to a hardy immune system. I add some spicing to my morning coffee + my many fall & winter soups. (Red lentil chili 🌶️ tonight.)

✍️ Gratitude journal: I start my day with my longstanding secret keeper (journal) sloppily writing all the things that light me up; from the mundane to musings with depth.

🧦 Fuzzy socks.

🎥 Julie Andrews movies are on cued up.

What are some of the ways you turn into autumn?

09/04/2024

📚 Get Lit 2.0 📕

"That's the thing about books, they let you travel without moving your feet.”

The book: The Women by

The premise: Frankie McGrath a new nursing student joins the Army Nurse Corps and becomes a combat nurse in Vietnam. It’s also about trauma, healing & the curative power of friendship. ♥️

The venue: One of my absolute favorite places to spend time in the local area. Think lush, green, unique winery, twinkly lights + the most delish wine.

When: 🍁 Friday October 11, 2024 🍂

The time: 6:30-8:30 pm - with time to stroll, mix, mingle + capture pictures 📸 until they kick us out at 9 pm.

Wine + food, fellowship, laughter & irreverence included.

Cost: $189 DM for payment links

RSVP: I have 6 spaces left. Feel free to bring a friend, sister, neighbor, or pup. 🐕
Hope to see you bookish babes under the twinkly lights at this event!

See you at the vineyard in cool + crisp October! 🍁 🍷 📕 🍂

08/19/2024

Ways to become a Certified Boundary Babe - (CBB)

One of the many things taught in office is Boundaries (yes, with a capital B.)

We learn how our bodies feel when around a Violater; how to pause & honor our feelings, take time (if possible) to consider how to respond & take guided (sometimes fierce, other times gentle) action.

Sometimes, setting a boundary simply means moving further away (emotionally and/or physically) from the Violater, while other times it begs to have a clarifying conversation. Often, we think a crisp conversation will change the dynamic, but in reality it often takes several conversations and/or behavior changes on the part of the person setting the boundaries.

For many of us, it can get confusing when Violaters do things that are (potentially) innocuous but don't feel good to us. Even if it's harmless, we can still set boundaries to feel protected by ourselves.

Becoming a Boundary Babe doesn't happen overnight, but it's a skill that can be life changing for many.