12/19/2025
🪴 Cannabis: The Plant So Useful They Had to Lie About It
(Weird Facts & Hidden History Edition)
Before cannabis was a “drug,” it was infrastructure.
No, really.
🧵 WEIRD FACT #1:
The word canvas comes from cannabis.
Sails. Ropes. Maps. Military tents.
The stuff that built empires? H**p.
⚓ WEIRD FACT #2:
Early navies ran on h**p.
Ships without h**p sails and rigging didn’t explore — they drifted and died.
🌿 WEIRD FACT #3:
In colonial America, farmers were sometimes required by law to grow h**p.
George Washington? Grew it.
Thomas Jefferson? Grew it.
Nobody clutched pearls or scromited.
🧠 WEIRD FACT #4:
Cannabis was in the U.S. Pharmacopeia until 1942.
Used for pain, sleep, migraines, inflammation, and muscle spasms.
Prescribed. STUDIED. Normal.
💊 WEIRD FACT #5:
The word “marijuana” wasn’t used to educate — it was used to other.
Same plant. New name.
Timed perfectly with racial panic and labor fear.
📰 WEIRD FACT #6:
William Randolph Hearst (newspapers) and DuPont (synthetics) both had financial reasons to crush h**p.
Suddenly, h**p was “dangerous.”
What a coincidence.
🚔 WEIRD FACT #7:
Cannabis prohibition didn’t reduce harm — it created it.
Criminalized medicine.
Empowered black markets.
Built an incarceration pipeline.
🌱 WEIRD FACT #8:
H**p:
• improves soil
• uses less water than cotton
• makes fiber, fuel, food, paper, medicine
📜WEIRD FACT #9:
The first drafts of the Declaration of Independence were written on h**p paper.
H**p paper:
• lasts hundreds of years
• doesn’t yellow like wood pulp
• doesn’t require clear-cut forests
• was cheaper and easier to produce at the time
Tree-based paper didn’t take over because it was better.
It took over because it was more profitable for a few very powerful industries.
Turns out the real gateway wasn’t cannabis —
it was corporate capture.
💥 BONUS WEIRD FACT:
In 2003, the U.S. government patented cannabinoids.
Patent US 6630507 B1 covers the use of cannabinoids as neuroprotectants and antioxidants — meaning the government officially acknowledged their medical value for conditions like:
• stroke
• traumatic brain injury
• neurodegenerative diseases
• inflammation
So let’s recap:
The same government that said cannabis had
👉 “no accepted medical use”
…also held a patent saying:
👉 “Actually, it protects your brain.”
You can’t make this stuff up.
Cannabis wasn’t outlawed because it was useless.
It was outlawed because it was too useful — and couldn’t be controlled the same way.
Yet here we are, still arguing about it like it’s witchcraft.
🤔 FINAL THOUGHT:
When a plant threatens profits, control, or narratives, it doesn’t get debated.
It gets renamed, criminalized, and memory-holed.
History isn’t hidden.
It’s just selectively taught.
Alicia Haggermaker
Contributing Editor