
10/09/2023
I can’t get out of bed. The exhaustion from it all has me in a crippling flare.
The results of the gastric emptying study came back normal immediately after it was completed on Thursday. I still have no clue what’s going on.
No answers AGAIN. I’ve been in a seriously dark place since then.
I don’t want to deal with any of this anymore. I just don’t.
I’m forever stuck in pain with way too many pain disorders.
The ability to eat has been compromised for almost five months, losing weight as a result and having horrible fatigue.
I don’t want any of this. I didn’t ask for it. How am I supposed to be resilient while jumping through hoops without an end in sight?
I’m sad, frustrated, angry, lonely, exhausted, anxious, depleted, empty.
This life and body cause more pain and anguish than joy and happiness.
I know it’s not my fault but it still feels like a punishment.