03/01/2024
Once again, it has been a LONG time since I've made a post and I'm really hoping to make it more consistent, but self-care takes priority and unfortunately this doesn't always make the list! But here we go again! š
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Whatās your initial thought when you see or hear the word *feelings*? For a lot or maybe even most, it likely isnāt a positive thought. However, feelings are not positive or negative or good or bad. Feelings are feelings. There are certainly more and less pleasant feelings to experience, but having any particular feeling is not good or bad.
What happens when we have the mindset of good vs. bad feelings is that we dismiss, push away, ignore, etc. the ābadā feelings in ourselves and for others. How many times have you experienced either as a child or an adult someone saying something like, āDonāt be sad about that, be happy for x, y, zā or ādonāt be mad about that, they didnāt mean it that wayā or āthereās nothing to be worried aboutā, etc, etc. These types of comments lead us to believe that we arenāt supposed to have those feelings or that it is bad or wrong to have those feelings. And then that can lead to specific attempts to avoid or ignore certain feelings or shame when we inevitably do feel those feelings.
And hereās the thing, the more we push away or hide our feelings, the stronger they get. They get pushed in some corner of our body and that ball of emotion just keeps growing. It does not disappear as much as we might think it does or wish it would and at some point it will make its impact (an emotional explosion, unhealthy coping skills, health problems, difficult relationships, anxiety, depression, etc).
So back to the point of this post in changing the mindset of good vs. bad feelings is recognizing and allowing yourself to simply feel what you feel in any given situation regardless if it what you are *supposed* to feel or *want* to feel. And when you let yourself feel what you feel (vs. trying to stuff it away), then it will do its thing and go through your body as it is supposed to do. Again, I recognize it may not be pleasant to feel all feelings, but the more that we feel what we feel, the less uncomfortable it will be because we have more experience in feeling them.
You feelings are communicating something to you, so listen.
And side note, you can also work on processing through and shrinking your stuffed away ball of emotions. And thatās what Iām here for. :)