01/15/2026
I spent my twenties doing 4 years of dental school and then a 6 year OMFS residency while raising three young children.
I was constantly studying, operating, on call, pregnant, postpartum, exhausted. Most people my age were out enjoying their freedom, and I was trying to keep my head above water while building both a career and a family at the same time.
I was physically depleted from years of broken sleep, pregnancies, and babies. I was mentally stretched from trying to do everything well and not fail at any of it. I never took a day off, lest someone should make a comment about me as a mother having dual responsibilities. I felt behind the ball and exhausted all the time.
My thirties were different, but not easier. My kids were in middle school and high school, and I was working in private practice. They no longer needed diapers, but they needed help with homework, carpools, emotional support, and constant presence. At the same time, I was still trying to establish myself professionally. The exhaustion shifted from physical to mental.
Now I am in my forties. My kids are in their late teens and twenties. They are mostly independent and no longer need me every minute. For the first time, I have the space to explore, travel, move, and enjoy parts of life that many people experience in their twenties.
Many of the friends who were partying back then are now raising babies.
There is no easier path. There is only a different order.
It is hard either way. I love how I did it. I believe it is possible to build both a career and a family, but only if you are willing to work extremely hard and defer gratification in one way or another.
I did not miss my twenties. I just postponed them.
How did you do it?