Dr. Kristan Melo, PsyD

12/12/2025

Do the Holidays Feel Like Too Much?

You’re not imagining it.
The holidays are louder when your brain works differently.

Holidays can be overwhelming, even when everyone else seems to be “enjoying the season.” I see this with my clients all the time. Your brain just processes the world differently, and that difference is real, valid, and deserving of understanding, not judgment.

If you notice sensory overload, losing track of time, or social situations draining your energy, you’re not alone. These experiences are common in ADHD and autism, and they’re not a flaw, they’re just how your brain works.

There are ways to make the holidays work for you! Start small: take quiet breaks, set realistic expectations, or step away when you need to. Even tiny changes can make the season feel a little lighter, and help you give yourself some grace along the way.

Read the full blog for practical holiday tips that actually help ADHD and autistic brains thrive.

🌈 I’m Kristan, a neurodivergent therapist helping ADHD and autistic teens and adults build systems that actually fit their brains. Want support that works for you? Let’s talk. 🔗 in comments

11/21/2025

11/21/2025

I’m not here to argue, but let me tell you a story.

In 1998, a prestigious medical journal called The Lancet published what they thought was a groundbreaking study. The lead author, Andrew Wakefield, suggested a link between the MMR vaccine and autism.

It sent the world into a panic.

But do you know how many kids were actually in that original study?
12.
Yes. 12.
Not twelve thousand. Not twelve hundred.
12.

You cannot validly and reliably prove causation with a sample size of 12.

So the scientific community did what they do to prove a finding: they tried to replicate it. And that’s where it all started falling apart.

It couldn’t be replicated.
They tried.
They conducted numerous large-scale epidemiological studies, in many different countries, involving millions of children.
Not one of those studies found any link between the MMR vaccine and autism.

But it gets worse.

They also started looking into how this had happened. How did Wakefield get the results he got?

Was it a fluke?
A flaw in his design?

Nope.

It was lies.
Simply lies.

Financial fraud.
Data falsification.
Child abuse.
A mockery of science.

Wakefield had secretly received hundreds of thousands of dollars from lawyers planning to sue vaccine manufacturers, and he held a patent for a rival, single-dose measles vaccine. He manipulated data to make sure the results matched what he (or his investors) wanted. Some kids were already showing symptoms before the vaccine. Others were selected because they would “prove his case.” Finding a link between autism and the current vaccine could make him rich. So how could he not find a link?

And you know what happened to those kids? They went through invasive, unnecessary, and painful medical procedures without proper consent, clinical oversight, or any ethical consideration for their well-being. They were abused so he could get the results he wanted.

In the end, the study was completely discredited, the paper was retracted, and Wakefield’s medical license was revoked.

Just think about that.

AAP President Dr. Susan J. Kressly responds to the recent changes on the CDC’s website - “The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention website has been changed to promote false information suggesting vaccines cause autism. Since 1998, independent researchers across seven countries have conducted more than 40 high-quality studies involving over 5.6 million people. The conclusion is clear and unambiguous: There’s no link between vaccines and autism. Anyone repeating this harmful myth is misinformed or intentionally trying to mislead parents.

We call on the CDC to stop wasting government resources to amplify false claims that sow doubt in one of the best tools we have to keep children healthy and thriving: routine immunizations. The American Academy of Pediatrics stands with members of the autism community who have asked for support in stopping this rumor from spreading any further."

11/21/2025

LET’S TALK ABOUT SAFE FOODS!!!
We often get told that we’re picky eaters, that we’re difficult, that we’re boring and shouldn’t eat the same foods over and over.

What we don’t get told?
Predictable foods can be safe.
And when we’re overwhelmed or our brains are swimming
We may need that safety.

For some, that means a safe food every once in a while.
For others, it means eating safe foods every single day.
Even if it’s not the “healthiest” food…
It’s better than not eating at all.
Because, yes, sometimes that is the alternative.

And no, safe foods aren’t about laziness, “bad choices,” or emotional eating.
They’re about regulating your brain and making life possible.

So, if you need your safe foods, go ahead and enjoy them!
And if that isn’t you…leave us and our safe foods alone!
Thank you and have a good night :)

🌈 I’m Kristan, a neurodivergent therapist in NY helping
ADHD and autistic kids, teens and adults build systems that
actually work for their brains. Want support that fits
you? Let's talk.

11/17/2025

“Just five more minutes” can turn into an hour faster than you think.
If this sounds familiar, you might be experiencing time blindness.

It’s common in ADHD and autism, and it’s not a personality flaw.
It’s just how your brain tracks (or doesn’t track) time.

But there are ways to make it work for you, not against you.

Start small: track one routine, set a timer, notice how long it actually takes. That first step is all it takes to reclaim a little control over time – and give yourself some grace while you’re at it.

Read the full blog for tips that actually work for ADHD and autism. Link in comments.

🌈 I’m Kristan, a neurodivergent therapist helping ADHD and autistic teens and adults build systems that actually work for their brains. Want support that fits you? Let's talk.

10/17/2025

"Just tell them right before so they don't have time to worry about it."

If you've ever thought this would help with transitions... I need you to read this post. That strategy backfires HARD with autistic people.

Here are 9 strategies that actually work, from front-loading plans to validating feelings when things change. Real tools for real support.

Read more: https://wix.to/UuPinpG

Let's talk about transitions.You know that feeling when you're completely absorbed in something you love, and suddenly someone tells you it's time to stop and do something completely different? For most people, that's annoying. For autistic people, it can feel like ripping apart the velcro holding y...

10/07/2025

Transitions can be hard! Especially if you are autistic. It’s not about being “stubborn” or “rigid.” It’s about the brain taking a different, often longer path between two things.

Here are some ways we can make that switch a little easier, whether that’s working with a child, an adult, or ourselves:

1. Let them know which tasks they’re going to need to hit at the beginning, so they can start planning the path sooner.

Example: “Today, we’re going to eat breakfast, clean up the living room, play video games for an hour, and then take a shower.”

2. Pair the plan with a visual so they can see the path they are expected to take, rather than relying on memory.

Example: Write the tasks out as a checklist, a picture board, or a schedule. Maybe even make a Velcro visual schedule with lily pads that you can switch in and out!

3. Giving a warning (or 2 or 3) BEFORE they’re expected to switch.

Example: “In 10 minutes, we’re going to turn off the video games and switch to showering.” 5 minutes later: “Okay now we have 5 minutes before we need to end video games and switch to shower.”

4. Use timers. Sometimes time can feel elusive, so timers help ground and give a discrete end to a task.

Example: Set a timer on your phone with the sound on (if noise sensitivity isn’t a factor) or get a visual timer like a sand timer or a visual app so they can SEE how the time is passing

5. If there are changes to the plan, try to tell them as soon as possible, so they can adjust the plan. Don’t wait until the last minute to “avoid the stress.” The unexpected change with no time to prepare will just make it worse.

Example: “I know I said we would do video games after clean up, but I forgot that we have to eat first. So now the plan will be

6. Let me be upset about the change. It is invalidating and dysregulating to tell someone it’s not that big of a deal. Co-regulate with them instead

Example: “I know it’s upsetting that the plans changed and it may feel really hard right now. Let’s take a few big, deep breaths together before we move on.

7. Be specific. Each task is actually broken up into a bunch of smaller tasks so be as explicit and direct as possible so they know exactly where they’re going to need to shift too

Example: Instead saying “we’re going to clean up”, say “we’re going to put the toys away and vacuum the floor.”

8. Remind them of when they’ll be able to come back this task if it’s a task they really love. It can be really hard to switch away from a special interest or something really fun, and some of that comes from an anxiety of “when will I be able to do it again?” Letting them know when can help ease some of that anxiety.

Example: “We’re turning off video games now. We’ll be able to play again tomorrow after school and homework.

9. Be mindful of the order you plan things. If you KNOW it will be really hard to go from video games to shower, make shower first and video games second.

These are just a few of the strategies I use with clients and with myself!

I’d love to hear of any more strategies you may use or find helpful. Let me know in the comments!

10/07/2025

This is such a great way to describe and understand why transitions can feel so hard, and why we need patience when asking someone who is autistic to switch between tasks!

If you’re NOT autistic, congratulations, your brain works like a pond!
All of your daily living activities are like lily pads,
they float close together on the surface, which is great news for you!

For example, since the “chores” and “hobbies” lily pads are so close together,
once you’ve finally put together that Lego set,
you can easily hop over to that pile of dirty dishes without falling in the water.

Unfortunately, if you ARE autistic, your brain is more like a lake.
And the part that sucks: you’ve got the exact same lily pads,
but you have to cover more surface area in order to get there.

This means when you’re sitting on the “hobbies” lily pad, and that Lego set is finally finished,
you’ll have to do more than just a little “hop” to get over to the “chores” part of your brain that allows you to do the dishes.

Autistic or not, no one LIKES wet socks, so jumping into the water to shift your focus from one “lily pad” to the other isn't a viable option for any of us.

For those of us with “lake brains”, the journey between lily pads can sometimes feel impossible!
Sure, we can peel ourselves away from the Legos, the iPad, the homework, etc.,
but then we have to strategically plan how to MOVE from where we are, to where we need to be next.

Metaphorically, we’re often stuck waiting for a gust of wind, a passing boat, or a nearby stick to propel ourselves forward.

And hopefully all of that serves as some extra context behind WHY it can be SO challenging for autistic folks to shift between tasks. 💗

09/24/2025

There is so much to say.

This week, the autistic community was referred to as a “horrible, horrible crisis.” Among other things.

Let that sink in.
Let that sit with you.
Let that marinate, if you will.

Autism isn’t a horrible, horrible crisis.

A society that cannot accept diversity is a horrible, horrible crisis.

Diversity of thought, diversity of race, diversity of culture, diversity of ability, diversity of brain functioning. Diversity in all its forms.

Erasing diversity is the crisis. Eradicating diversity is the crisis.

Yes, we need research. No one wants to stop science. But let's think about what would actually be helpful to the living, breathing autistic people existing in this world right now.

-We need research on what aspects of autism are the most debilitating for autistic people.
-We need research on what aspects of our environment and society cause the most debilitation for autistic people.
-We need research on what support, services, and accommodations can actually help.

And we need systems and policies that will put that research into action. That will actually provide support. That will make this world a bit more equitable.

We do NOT need research about erasing the autistic brain.

We need HELP and SUPPORT and, yes, prevention, but prevention of what the problem actually is, what is actually interfering with someone’s life...and that is going to look completely different from person to person. It’s not a blanket “autism = bad, no autism = good.”

And, just to be clear: you would NOT recognize society if autism never existed. Take a look into what autistic minds have contributed to this world, from science, to tech, to pop culture, to art, to everything in between. You'd be amazed.

And to the autistic community: You matter. You have value, inherently. You deserve to exist. You deserve to belong.

The real travesty here would be trying to erase you.

Send a message to learn more

09/18/2025

Let's talk diagnosis. It is important to understand what most practitioners look for when determining if someone meets criteria for a diagnosis of ADHD because it is also what insurance companies, agencies, schools, etc will look for when determining eligibility for services such as medication, therapies, disability services, special education, and educational or workplace accommodations. This is the "medical model". You have to meet "symptom criteria" for a diagnosis based on "functional impairment". We need to understand this deficit-based language because it is the language on which these systems operate, the systems in which we exist, the systems that we are fighting to accommodate us, to accept us, to at least not make our lives harder.

But while there are definitely difficulties and "deficits" and the majority of this post highlights those "deficits", we know that there are also strengths. At the end, I give examples of how we can reframe some of the language to be more neuro-affirming.

And to clarify: neurodiversity-affirming language isn't meant to erase the struggles. It's about creating a more balanced view of who we are. It's about protesting the reduction of a person to a list of deficits or "symptoms." It's about helping those of us who identify with the experience to understand, accept, and embrace our neurodivergencies. It's about highlighting the good that so often is simply just erased. It's about challenging society to do better.

09/15/2025

When most people think about depression, they imagine sadness, excessive crying, or not being able to get out of bed.

If you’re autistic, ADHD, or otherwise neurodivergent, depression can look a little different. Some “typical” signs might be there, but it can also show up in ways that overlap with your usual traits, which can make it hard to notice.

The key is paying attention to when things feel heavier, harder, or different than your normal baseline.

Scroll through to see what depression can look like when you’re neurodivergent. While this list isn’t exhaustive, it covers some of the main areas depression can affect.

And remember: everyone experiences depression differently. What it looks like for one person isn’t necessarily what it looks like for another.

And if it starts to feel like too much, reach out for help. You don’t have to go through it alone.

🌈 I’m Kristan Melo, a neurodivergent psychologist offering online therapy in New York and in-person sessions in Garden City. If you’re looking to explore therapy, you can find out more on my website: www.kristanmelo.com

If you want to see more content like this, give me a follow here or follow me on my instagram

Disclaimer: This content is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional diagnosis or treatment.

09/12/2025

Though ADHD gets talked about a lot, it is actually really misunderstood. It's about so much more than focus, and yet that is so frequently what it gets reduced to, even by well-meaning professionals. Swipe through to learn what ADHD really is!

If you want to see more content like this, give me a follow here or on my instagram 👋

🌈 I’m Kristan Melo, a neurodivergent psychologist offering online therapy in New York and in-person sessions in Garden City. If you’re looking to explore therapy, you can find out more on my website: www.kristanmelo.com