Connecthrulove

11/18/2025

I am so excited to announce my new website which is the continuation of the ebook project, "Stories from the Adoption Circle". The new site is a blog which will hopefully be ongoing. All stories will have the same guidelines as those those stories published in the book...all submitted pieces will be published with little to no editing. The stories are those of the writer. The feelings and words to describe them come from the author; the punctuation and even the grammar reflect the feelings of the story writer.

Welcome to The Adoption Circle Blog where we publish the stories, poetry and even artistic renderings of those whose lives have been forever changed by the adoption experience.. This Blog continues the sharing of stories like those first told in the ebook: Stories from the Adoption Circle: Remembran...

11/09/2025

November is Adoption Month. In honor of Adoption Month, I am posting an "Adoptee manifesto" written by Angela Tucker, subject of the documentary "Closure" and author of the book "You Should Be Grateful".
We can LOVE more than One set of parents. RELATIONSHIPS with our birth parents, foster parents, and our adoptive parents are not mutually exclusive. We have the RIGHT to own OUR original birth certificate. Curiosity about our ROOTS is innate. We need ACCESS to our family medical history. The pre-verbal memories we have with our first family are real. Post-natal culture shock EXISTS. It's okay to feel a mixture of gratitude and loss.
We re NOT alone.
We have EACH OTHER

11/03/2025

Very important information for teachers AND for caregivers about the effects of trauma on childrens behavior in the classroom.

Foster youth face trauma, instability, and learning gaps. With empathy, structure, and trust, educators can be powerful agents of healing in the classroom.

10/31/2025

Want to share this very cogent and straight forward article about how to view and work with problem behaviors in school, written by Jeanette Yoffe:

Foster youth face trauma, instability, and learning gaps. With empathy, structure, and trust, educators can be powerful agents of healing in the classroom.

08/31/2025

I am so excited, my book of adoption stories has gone live on Amazon Kindle!! This is a collection of stories told by those who make up the adoption circle. These are stories from adoptees, birth parents, adoptive parents, and connected others. Each story is the writer's own, their perspective and their reality. I am offering it as an ebook, so the cost will be nominal. I really want to help individuals and families build understanding and connection; and yes, perhaps healing where it may be needed. Please do share this with those you know whose lives are touched by adoption, either personally or professionally.

Stories from the Adoption Circle: Remembrances and Perspectives: Adoptive Parent, Birth Parent, Adoptee, Extended Family, and Professional

08/29/2025

Sharing 5 Parenting Tips from Shenandoah Chefalo, well-known speaker, coach, consultant on trauma-responsive care and author of "Garbage Bag Suitcase".

1. Prioritize connection over control. Instead of focusing on obedience, focus on your relationship. For example, if your child is having a meltdown, sit beside them. Let them know you’re not going anywhere. That safety is more potent than any lecture. Whether you’re working with adults or children, practice’ connection before correction.’

2. Create a psychologically safe environment at home. Make your house a place where mistakes are learning opportunities, not punishable offenses. One family I worked with started using the phrase “fail forward,” and it completely shifted how their children responded to setbacks.

3. Talk openly about feelings. Discussing feelings is a significant factor in building resilience. Use feeling words for your own emotions. Say, “I’m feeling overwhelmed right now, so I’m going to take a few deep breaths,” or whatever helps you regulate your emotions. Modeling behavior teaches kids that emotions are safe to feel and express. Instead of asking, “How are you doing?” start asking, “How are you feeling?”

4. Build predictable routines. Routines offer stability. Something as simple as a bedtime ritual — such as a story, a hug, or an affirmation — can give kids a sense of grounding, even when everything else feels chaotic.

5. Take care of yourself. Your regulation is the regulation of everyone around you. Feelings are contagious (good and bad). If you’re constantly running on empty, your kids will feel it. Prioritize your healing and rest so you can show up for them fully. Remember: you don’t have to be perfect — just present. You only give what you are overflowing with.

08/05/2025

Am looking to see if there is any interest in having an online group of adoptive parents whose children cone from another country? It would of course be a private group. With all that is going on in the country in regards to immigrants, and all of the questions and fears that have been stirred up, it may be an important time to connect with others with the shared experience. If you are interested, private message me here or send an email to: connecthrulove@gmail.com

07/27/2025

Picking up on a theme from the previous post…trauma-informed parenting. When thinking of trauma-informed anything, we are generally looking on, at others and their behaviors. However, when we begin to talk about interactions and communication it is time to see the “theirs and ours” of trauma-informed interactions. Children who come from the hard places of trauma and the adults who interact with them as teachers, caregivers, relatives, mentors…any of whom could be a carrier, a trauma carrier.
As parents, whether bio, foster, adoptive, it is important to understand our own histories and our own triggers which could well be embedded in trauma. There will always be more on this topic, for now I will leave you with THE most important intervention/response: connecthrulove.