30/03/2023
"I hope you remember the days that I held you instead of folding the clothes, when the piles were ignored because your comfort was my priority. The days my half eaten lunch sat on the edge of the lounge, pushed to the side because you needed me more in that moment. The hours we sat snuggled up in front of the TV, neglecting the world because you would only sleep on my chest.
I hope you can remember how many days we spent on your bedroom floor, plonking the same ball into the same hole in your favourite toy. Those days when we moved about the house on our knees, following the sunshine & practicing your steps. I hope you never forget how perfectly you fit nuzzled into my neck when we both lied flat on our backs watching the fan spin round & round.
I hope you’ll always know that you were my priority in all my days, the amount of cuppas that went cold & dinners that were never finished seen as a product of your needs coming first. I hope you always remember sitting on my lap & sharing my meal on those nights you refused the high chair, and the mornings sharing my shower when you couldn’t bare to wait another second for me to finish up.
I hope one day you’ll hear a song and be thrown back to straddling my hip while I stirred the pasta & set the table. Dancing bookending the meal prep & baby snuggling between serving up. How we’d gracefully move about the kitchen like you were an extension of my body, throwing together food to feed our whole family, all with one hand from me and a carrot stick for you.
I hope you one day smell a similar perfume to the one that lingered late at night, and remember us. When I’d pick you up from your cot, wipe your tears & hug you til you fell back asleep. The nights we spent cuddled up so that we could both catch some sleep, my favourite place and yours.
I hope you never forget the way you started your beautiful life, completely intertwined with mine, every need met by me, your mum.
But if you forget my love, do not despair, because I will remember for the both of us. These days are etched into my heart, memories that will never erase. They’ll forever be my fondest and most precious memories of us."
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