ShopBlondee, Gilbert, AZ (2026)

04/26/2022

A text I sent to my therapist today🤍(…I haven’t seen her for a few years but she kept coming to my mind and I felt a desire to let her know her impact on me) 💕 I also felt also inspired to share here…:

“You’ve come to my mind several times this week. I’ve felt overwhelmed as I think about my past self, crying on the couch to you. So broken and so lost. I’ve thought about the counsel and guidance you gave me in some of my darkest hours of infertility. I’m moved deeply in thinking back about your unexpected love and commitment to me and my healing journey.

You’ve crossed my mind as I hold my baby girl and love on her and recognize that she is God’s and I’m lucky enough to be entrusted with her by Him. You taught me to get to a place where I could say like Shadrach, Mashack and Abendego (bible story changed for applying to my story) “If God chooses to give me a baby in this lifetime, so be it. But IF NOT… I will still choose him”. Because of your care, I got to a place where I felt peace that passeth understanding and yet my problems weren’t gone. I shifted my focus from my infertility challenges to focus on my Savior, Jesus Christ and trusting him, truly. And now I hold my baby, knowing and trusting that God didn’t have to give me a baby in this lifetime, but he did. And I’m not taking it for granted. She blew out her diaper the other day and I celebrated! 🤣 I caught myself saying in the recorded video I took to commemorate, “I’ve waited 7 years for a moment like this! I’m so happy!” 🤣 the coolest part about it all is when people get to meet her, they feel God’s love because she is a miracle…A living, breathing miracle! Most cry upon meeting her and she has the calmness and presence, even as a 6 month old, to expand with them and help them feel more of God’s love. It’s humbling to watch. I would not have been ready if she came a second sooner into my life. God has a plan for each of us. I’m grateful he never gave up on me by giving me my desires of having a baby sooner. This trial was necessary for me and I’m grateful he loves me enough to have let me go through it.”

Still grateful for Every. Single. Second. Of a heartbeat! 💕💕

01/03/2022

Our sweet baby girl was blessed yesterday! 💕

It was such a sacred and special experience. My heart was full and so we’re the tears in my eyes. John gave her a beautiful blessing and I’ve been soaking this time up this weekend. Feels like heaven on earth. 💕

She is a force for light and goodness and we feel that since she’s been in our home. She brings peace and warmth into our lives.

I took some sweet photos of her wearing my blessing dress along with the bonnet and blanket her grandma Ayse made her. 😍

I often sing her songs and find myself still in awe that she’s here. These pictures make me pinch myself. Enjoy!

12/05/2021

✨Farah’s birth story✨part 3

I began pushing soon after and the nurse kept saying “push like your pooping” and because I was medicated, I didn’t really get it. I couldn’t feel anything. 😂 So I asked for the mirror to watch. I know, I know. This grosses so many women out just thinking about it BUT hear me out! I could see what I was doing. I could focus on the location of where baby needed to go and so I could push and see progress! It was like wearing my Apple Watch during a work out and watching the calories burn. It makes you work a little harder! IYKYK.

I pushed for an hour and 40 ish minutes. It was a little long but WE DID IT! I didn’t tear or need an episiotomy 🙌🏻🙌🏻😭😭 so happy about this.

Also, because I had the mirror, I could start to see her little head and hair. And when my doctor was telling me she was almost there, at the end, I could hardly push because the tears were flowing so big from my eyes. She was almost here! I was just about to finally hold her in my arms for the first time and I could not keep it together. I did the final push and out she came! She was placed on my chest and john and I were big huge blubbering messes. Like loud sobbing! SHE WAS FINALLY HERE IN OUR ARMS! We could hardly believe it was real life and we knew we were truly living a bit of heaven on earth in these moments that we were in the hospital welcoming our baby. OUR BABY. It was the most incredible, beautiful thing I have ever experienced in my life.

Once they brought all of her 6 lbs 6 oz back for me to hold, she calmed immediately down and just laid on my chest. Again, I was immediately overcome as I told John through more tears that I knew her! I knew her little spirit. It was so familiar to me. Like I have known her for years and years and yet I was just meeting her in this lifetime for the first time. It was so unbelievably sacred to me to feel that.

Farah’s whole birth was so beautiful. I know that so many don’t get such a fast and easy birth and I see you. I recognize how unusual and easy mine was and I don’t take it for granted. I am humbled to have welcomed her without complication. 🤍

12/05/2021

✨Farah’s birth story✨part 2

At 6 am they checked me and I was 80% effaced and 1.5 cm dilated. They hooked me up to pitocin by 7 am and broke my water by 7:30 am. Contractions began! I chose to do a medicated birth. I did prepare for unmedicated just in case. My doctor is awesome and told me if I didn’t want to feel any pain he would hook me up to an epidural whenever I wanted. However, I wanted to know what contractions felt like and breathe through a few so I did. Around 8:30 am I had a contraction that was so strong. I decided then that I wanted to not feel that again. Haha. So I asked for the anesthesiologist. He was literally right outside my door so he came in and gave me the epidural.

I was expecting the epidural to be really painful. I had heard from so many that it was pretty awful however, I literally didn’t feel anything. It wasn’t bad at all! So so grateful for a good anesthesiologist.

After that, I rested until 9:30 am and they checked and I was dilated to 3 cm and still 80% effaced.

Around 11:30 am I was at 4.5 cm dilated and 100% effaced. I was noticing at this point that I was progressing 1.5 cm every 2 hours. And at 1:10 pm I was dilated to a 6 cm! I was surprised how quickly my body was progressing as this is my first birth and I know that your first birth can usually take a loooong time. I was so grateful my body was progressing well!!!

I started to feel a lot more pressure around this time and at 2 pm the nurse checked again and I had jumped to 8 cm!

At 3 pm I was dilated to a 10!!!! 🎉🎉

I went from 6 cm to 10 cm in 2 hours. It was insane. So grateful I had an epidural! 😅😅

(See next post for part 3!)

12/05/2021

✨Farah’s birth story✨part 1

We were induced 2 weeks early due to a concern that Farah wasn’t getting all the nutrients in her final weeks in utero that she would need to thrive. They had been monitoring her and measuring her belly and it was measuring unusually small. My doctor, along with a specialist, advised us that it would be best to bring her at 38 weeks to ensure she was safe. So we did just that!

The morning of the induction, i had to call to make sure there was room for us to come in. I was nervous and excited! I got confirmation over the phone that we were to go in and there was room. I hung up, burst into HUGE big tears and dropped to my knees. I immediately thanked my Heavenly Father that we get to go in and i also said to Him in prayer, “it’s me and you today. We’re bringing one of your daughters into the world. I need your help. I can’t do this without you”. I couldn’t hardly believe the day was finally here!

We got to the hospital around 5 am and they checked us in. We got into our room. It was a quiet morning in the hospital. John and I were literally so happy to FINALLY be meeting our baby girl and so we were cracking jokes and just constantly laughing and smiling. We could not help it! The nurse commented and said, “you guys are the best! You’re just so happy!” We told her we had been waiting 7 years for this and it was so special to us. She was so moved. It was sweet.

The nurses attempted to hook my IV up 3 times. The first time, the nurse nicked a nerve. The second time the nurse blew my vein. She told me what happened and I immediately joked and said “get it together veins!” And everyone started laughing. I’m sure they were nervous i would get upset that they weren’t getting it in but I wasn’t interested in letting anything bring my happiness levels down. (See next post for part 2!)

11/29/2021

🎉O N E MONTH 🎉 with this perfect little nugget.

I can’t believe we’ve already had a month together outside of my belly!!! I have loved every second (that doesn’t mean I haven’t struggled at times but I loved even the times I struggled too because she is HERE!)

Here are a few things we’ve gone through in just our short time together:

✨Both of us learning to breastfeed! It has been an experience 🙌🏻😭😵‍💫🙃😩🤪💪🏻💁🏼‍♀️. Learning to Breastfeed has been painful for me. In the beginning, she lost more weight than recommend. She was born at 6 lbs 6 oz and dropped to 5 lb 10 oz but was happy, calm, sleeping well and filling her diaper. So we decided to stick with breastfeeding and worked hard together at feeding every 2 hours and today she weighs 6 lbs 13.5 oz!!! I feel like DANCING!!!!! 💃🏼💃🏼 WE DID IT!

✨I have loved being her source of calm and comfort. From the moment she was placed on my chest after she was born, she calmed right now and was peaceful. She still does that with me and it’s something I’ll cherish for my entire life.

✨I Learned quickly what it felt like to live the phrase “my heart is outside of my body” because that’s what it felt like once Farah was born. It’s the most wild feeling to not have her inside of me but feel like we’re supposed to be close. 💕

I love you to the moon sweet Farah. So glad you’ve been with us for 1 whole month!!!

11/26/2021

✨GRATITUDE✨

Feeling Gratitude lately that is so deep, so wide and so full that I can hardly stop crying. Becoming a mama has been soul filling.

John and I sat eating our first thanksgiving dinner as a family of 3 yesterday and we talked about what we are grateful for.

This year is incredibly obvious for us - we’re so grateful to hold in our arms this sweet sweet baby of ours. 😭😭😭

We actually sat crying while eating our thanksgiving dinner, which then turned to laughing because it was so funny that we were stuffing our mouths and crying at the same time. I bet you can imagine it. 😂

Also, I’m overwhelmingly grateful for John. He has been more than I dreamed as I watch him dive into fatherhood. Farah knows her daddy and it’s so sweet. 💕

I’d love to hear, what you are grateful for this year?

11/07/2021

Welcome the world Farah Joy Hitchins!

After so many years of navigating getting our family here, she has finally arrived! And we have been soaking in every second of our little miracle! She was born 10/27 and weighed 6 lbs 6 oz and was 19.75 inches long. She is calm, happy and so so sweet.

John and I still can’t believe she is ours and we’re living the dream of being parents that we have had for so long. GOD IS SO GOOD! We are experiencing all of the prayers and well wishes from all of you over the years being fulfilled to us since she came. HOW IS THIS REAL LIFE!? We are still pinching ourselves that she is ours. We cry a lot of happy tears over here since she came to us. She is truly the best thing that we have ever experienced!

10/12/2021

We are totally making a human! (Well, i am lol) My belly is so fun and big and I can’t handle these photos from our maternity shoot!

I’m 36 weeks and inching closer every day to meet her.

We’re so curious what she will look like, be like and how we will change in the process.

I feel like I wish time would slow down and hurry up all the same time. Lol

Im curious, what are some special things you did to prepare for the arrival of your babies! I would love to hear!! 🤍

09/20/2021

33 weeks ✨

I can’t believe we’re nearing the finish line of this pregnancy!!

I’ve been thinking so much lately on the loooong road to get here. All the ups and the downs and the in betweens. It was hard for so long, My infertility journey changed me and as hard as it was, I’m actually so grateful for it.

I look at pregnancy through rose colored glasses - every ache, pain and bout of nausea or heartburn is a privilege to experience.

I shared with a fellow infertility warrior the other day that I felt like I was truly soaking up every part of this opportunity to grow a human being. I’m not taking it lightly. I almost feel like I owe it to the girls who are still desperately navigating their infertility journey to enjoy every second of my pregnancy. I don’t take it for granted.

With that, I also share that I’m not immune to the fears that creep in from time to time. Just this past Saturday, I woke up feeling sad ( ) and had more “what if” thoughts than I could handle.

I was becoming overwhelmed with these “what if’s” and decided to stop and say a prayer of only gratitude for what actually is…

- I’m grateful for a baby girl who is currently moving in my belly
- I’m grateful for her hiccups she is having
- I’m grateful for the heartburn I’m having because I know it means baby is growing!
- I’m grateful for every. Single. Second. Of a heartbeat.

As I said this prayer of gratitude, I was flooded with emotions and overwhelmed knowing that my what if’s weren’t actually real. I chose instead to focus on what is and it was so powerful for me. It changed my attitude and it caused me to honor the 7 years of growth I have been through and to love my past self and reassure her that we’re finally here! We’re really doing it - making a human and it’s everything we ever imagined!

08/23/2021

Getting closer to meeting this rainbow baby of ours and so so excited to see what/who she looks like! 🌈

We’re in the final stretch! I’m 29 weeks pregnant!!

Here is a quick update:
- We’re still working on a name (I think I need to meet her to officially decide)
- We’re working on her room! Stay tuned, I’ll share as we progress in my stories 🤍
- I am getting super tired again. 😴
- feeling grateful I am still getting a good nights rest (I don’t have restless legs or back pain)
- Soaking up these final weeks of just John and I before she comes 🤍
- Embracing my swollen ankles in this Arizona Heat 💃🏼
- Grateful for tums and other medications to help with my heartburn! (Small price to pay to carry her everyday 💕)

Put a 💕💕💕 if you’re getting as excited as I am to see what she looks like soon!!

08/06/2021

Got to see baby girl in an ultrasound yesterday and it’s making me have all the feels! ✨✨✨

14 weeks left and we need a name! 😅

I have one that I’ve loved forever BUT now that it’s here and I’m finally choosing a name, I’m exploring ALL THE NAMES!

I want to hear girl names you have been LOVING recently! Share them below!

And if you know the name I’ve been loving, don’t share it please!! I want to keep it a surprise if i do end up choosing it! 😘😘😘

Can’t wait to hear your names! GO!

ShopBlondee

04/26/2022

01/03/2022

12/05/2021

12/05/2021

12/05/2021

11/29/2021

11/26/2021

11/07/2021

10/12/2021

09/20/2021

08/23/2021

08/06/2021

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