09/20/2024
Have you ever been in a sour mood, and you’re met with “WOW what crawled up your azz?”, “Did you just sigh?? Knock it off or I’m taking your phone.”, “What did *I* do?? Geez! Way to ruin the night!”, “Well I was planning on having seggs tonight but THAT’S not happening now so don’t blame me!”, “Are you mad at me??? *follows around the house* Why are you mad? What did I do? Tell me why you’re mad at me!”
… various “poking” of the bear. Maybe it’s mocking, making it a fight about them, a punishment for being human and having fluctuating states of regulation.
This is like taking gasoline, and pouring it on their fire. It’s causes a MUCH bigger fire and when things spiral, it all comes back down to the moody one’s fault.
The reality is- we all have bad moods. We all have days, or times of the month 😮💨, hangry moments, lack of sleep shortness. And when it’s *us* we want a little grace. There’s a line- and this isn’t referring to abusive behavior. But being a little snippy, groaning, rolling eyes, protesting/tantrums- these are usually just bad moods.
Instead of spitting gasoline at them, step further away from the fire. Think, “Oookay I’m just going to let them be moody… from over here lol”. Or, maybe compassionately say, “Hey- are you okay?”. With either, you’ll get a DEESCALATION instead of accelerant on a small fire.
When they return in a better mood- let it go. We don’t need to address EVERY less than positive interaction. If you plan on being in happy relationships with any of these people, you’re going to need to let things go. This isn’t conflict avoidance, this is differentiating between what really needs to be a conflict, and what can be chalked up to a very human “bad mood”.
Bring ‘em a cookie, give them a smile, and walk tf away. Watch the little fire extinguish.
