12/03/2023                                                                            
                                    
                                                                            
                                            A wonderful reminder for this time of year ♥️                                        
                                    
                                                                        
                                        If there is any advice I could give another parent this holiday season when it comes to their Autistic child, it would be this-
Always, always, always-
Above everything and everyone, 
Over any family event, 
Any friend's party, 
Work engagement, 
Photoshoot, 
Santa experience, train ride, winter wonderland extravaganza, or sleigh ride- 
Please always, 
CHOOSE. YOUR. CHILD.
Do not force your child to sit at tables and eat foods they cannot eat. 
Do not ask your child to engage with people they don't want to engage with. 
Do not expect your child to perform and show everyone how much they can do or share personal, intimate details about their personal growth. 
Do not expect your child to go through with any experience no matter how amazing and magical you think it is, or how much you've done or paid to make it happen. 
Do not push them to play with toys, sing songs, dance, or play games if they don't want to. 
Don't force eye contact with relatives or hugs.
But please do- 
Do find people who understand your child and will welcome them as they are. 
Do let your children stim and dress as they like. 
Do bring your safe foods with you if you're going out to someone else's home, or ask if your host can prepare something different for you. 
Do pack a bag with all your safe items- an iPad, head phones, sensory items, your favourite blanket, bubbles.
(Don't forget the charger).
And of course, be flexible. 
If things are getting too loud or too much, find a quiet place to regulate. 
And if necessary, leave. 
Whatever comfort you and your child need, far outweighs whatever expectations are placed on you both. 
When you choose your child, you've taught your child they matter more than any perceived joy or magic.
Because the real joy comes when your child feels safe in your arms, knowing that no matter what, you'll always be their protector.
And ultimately, there is no greater magic than this.
Artwork: Robbie Craig's Northern Projects