11/16/2024
It was a rough week. After 3+ years of me taking care of my Dad, he died Monday morning of crippling end stage dementia… right before my husband boarded a plane to Houston for the week. My younger brother was a mess. So was Mom… until her advanced dementia kicked in, and then it was… “Is he asleep? Can he hear us? Can he talk?”
As for me, there hasn’t been time to be a mess. It’s been my job to make all the calls, and all the arrangements, since my folks never got around to it. Dad was multi faceted and exceptionally accomplished in everything he did. So I suspect his funeral next week is going to be a bit more than I expected.
What does this have to do with exercise? Well, exercise has been my life long sanctuary… learned it from Dad actually… but this week has been a struggle to even get to the gym. I would get all ready, and then be unable to leave the house, or get to the gym, and then be unable to walk in. For 2 reasons… either I was afraid I would start crying… and like baseball, there is no crying at the gym. Or I was afraid someone would approach me and say something completely benign, and I would bite their head off… figuratively not literally.
So I suppose I have to be grateful for the small wins…
I did cardio at home on Tuesday.
I trained in the gym Wednesday & today.
We will lay his body to rest on Tuesday, 3+ hours away from here, so the hits will keep coming. My 85-year old Mom will have to come back to reality to say goodbye to her high school sweetheart, and I will need to be her Mom until further notice. The grief waves will keep flowing with no notice, and when I least expect it. In the meantime, the weights are always here…
