12/18/2025
Like most people who become caregivers, Carol Coulther had no warning. In 2016, her husband, Rich, had a stroke. And the whirlwind of demands began.
Suddenly she was in charge of keeping track of doctors and monitoring his care. He’d been devastated, physically. “It took six weeks before he could move a finger,” she said.
As her husband moved between care facilities and began to make progress, Carol was planning for what life would be like when he was discharged.
Carol is now a volunteer leader of the American Heart Association’s Support Network online Stroke Caregiver group. Here’s some of her advice for other caregivers.
🗒️ Stay organized. “I went into teacher mode,” Carol said. “I got a binder, and I made dividers for doctors, medications, what therapists were saying.” They kept track of appointments and home visits on a big calendar on the refrigerator.
❓ Learn how to ask questions. Being a medical advocate is a huge part of being a caregiver. If something doesn’t seem right, ask for clarification. “If I wanted to talk to a nurse or a doctor, I would say, ‘When is a good time?’ I always got a good response from doing it that way.”
🆘 Ask for help. Ask the health care team what programs are available for their specific situation. Carol and her husband leaned on family, and she continues to draw on support from other survivors and caregivers online, including the Support Network.
😲 Expect things to change. Nothing about caregiving stays the same for long. In Carol’s case, that was often a good thing, as her husband kept improving. But even that meant “as soon as we got something working and we got a routine going, everything would change.”
☺️ Take care of yourself. Carol understands that taking your focus off a loved one is almost impossible at first. But over time, caregivers can find ways to ease into taking breaks. “You have to do it slowly. Maybe just going in the back and reading is enough.”
🙏 Hold onto hope. Caregiving is all-consuming and exhausting, especially in the beginning. “There’s just no answer for that,” Carol said. But she tells people to keep looking ahead. “You just have to kind of get through it, and it will get better.”
Read more on what to expect when you become a caregiver: http://spr.ly/6187COEEV
