Letting go of the idea that you can save someone is a powerful step toward self liberation. I found myself in two marriages plagued by violence, abuse, infidelity, and addiction. I constantly tried to rescue my partners, believing love could change them. But one day, I woke up to the painful truth that they didn’t care about me, and never could, because they did not know how to love themselves. It became clear that one of the bravest decisions I could make was to prioritize my own well being and move on.
There’s often talk about the thin line between love and hate, and in both of those relationships, I eventually crossed that line. The love I once felt faded, replaced by resentment and anger. I struggled to recall any positive memories, overwhelmed by the negativity that surrounded me. It was then that I made the choice to seek a new beginning, to head toward a healthier shore. Embracing the reality that I couldn’t save them allowed me to save myself. Healing starts with self love, and walking away was not a failure it was an act of courage and self respect.
Listen to The Shore by Matt McClure on
03/25/2026
There is a rhythm to dying that cannot be predicted, no matter how many times you sit beside it.
I’ve watched someone take what felt like their final breaths….. only to open their eyes hours later, even days later, as if the body changed its mind. I’ve also seen the opposite, someone laughing, eating, seemingly “coming back” and then quietly slipping away before anyone was ready to believe it.
This is the terrain of the unknown.
And it humbles you every time.
When you sit vigil often, you begin to trust the body in a different way. You see that it knows how to die, just as it has always known how to live. There’s a surrender that happens, a deeper intelligence at work. But for families especially those walking this path for the first time it can feel like an emotional storm with no anchor.
Hope rises, then falls.
Fear creeps in, then softens.
There are moments of peace, followed by waves of confusion, even panic.
And the truth is, both realities exist at once.
The struggle is real.
It’s real to sit in stillness while everything inside you wants to fix, to change, to hold on.
It’s real to witness someone you love hover between worlds, not knowing which moment will be the last.
It’s real to feel the ache of anticipation, the exhaustion of waiting, the heartbreak of loving so deeply.
For those of us who sit vigil regularly, we learn to make space for all of it. We become steady not because it’s easy, but because we’ve learned to trust the unfolding. We’ve learned that death does not follow our timelines, our expectations, or our need for certainty.
And still, we feel it too.
We feel the family’s grief, their confusion, their longing.
We hold the room when emotions spill over.
We honor the sacredness of what’s happening, even when it looks chaotic from the outside.
Because beneath the unpredictability, there is something profoundly natural taking place.
A life completing itself.
And in those quiet moments, between breaths, between worlds, there is a stillness that reminds us this is not something to control
this is something to witness, to honor, and to love through.
AHO
03/23/2026
I’m sitting vigil today, holding space for a life that was deeply lived, this one, full of character. People often ask how I do this work, but these quiet moments of stillness are some of the most sacred I will ever witness. The body knows what to do. It knows how to die. It is often our own impatience that disrupts that natural unfolding. Each journey belongs to the one walking it, in their own time, in their own way. And so, I sit. I witness. I honor.
This truth is one many caregivers, healers, and deeply empathic people eventually run into. It’s a hard realization because compassion often convinces us that if we just give more ,more energy, more patience, more guidance we can help someone change. But rescue requires participation. Without it, what we are doing isn’t saving someone we’re carrying them.
And no one can carry another person’s life for them.
There is a quiet but important distinction between support and responsibility. Supporting someone means standing nearby, offering tools, love, perspective, or a steady hand when they reach for it. Responsibility, however, is when we begin to feel we must manage the consequences of choices that are not ours.
That weight does not belong to us.
When someone repeatedly makes decisions that harm themselves while asking you to fix the outcome, they are unconsciously transferring the energetic burden of their choices onto you. This is often what people mean when they talk about an “energy vampire ” It isn’t always malicious. Many times it is simply a lack of discipline, will, or readiness to change. But intention doesn’t change the effect your energy becomes the fuel for their avoidance.
Allowance becomes the medicine here.
Allowance does not mean agreement.
Allowance does not mean approval.
Allowance simply means recognizing that another person has sovereignty over their own path even when that path leads somewhere difficult.
One technique is energetic separation. When you feel the pull to fix, pause and mentally return responsibility where it belongs. You might say internally “These are your choices, and I honor your right to make them.” This isn’t abandonment it’s clarity.
Another practice is compassion without attachment. You can care deeply for someone while releasing the expectation that they will use the wisdom you offer. Advice is a gift. Whether someone opens it is up to them.
Boundaries are also essential. Boundaries are not punishments they are structures that protect your life force. Sometimes that boundary is emotional refusing to carry worry that isn’t yours. Sometimes it’s conversational no longer engaging in the same circular discussions where someone asks for solutions they have no intention of applying.
And perhaps the most powerful shift is remembering this people do not change because someone else wants them to.
They change when the desire to change becomes stronger than the comfort of staying the same.
Until that moment arrives, the most loving thing you can sometimes do is step back from the role of rescuer and simply witness their journey.
You can hold the lantern.
But they must choose to walk toward the light.
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As an energy healer I'm often met with curiosity, fascination, and a bit of skepticism when I tell people what I do for a living. Energy healing is a holistic prac‐ tice that activates the body's subtle energy systems to remove blockage and aid the body's inherent ability to heal itself. We all learned in school physics class that matter is made up of molecules. Even something that is solid, such as a table, is vibrating all the time. As humans we too are vibrating. Quantum physics demonstrates that matter and energy are two aspects of the same thing and are generally accepted as true for inanimate matter. There is no reason to suggest the same does not apply to living matter, In other words US!!! Conventional medicine a dresses the physical body while healers addressed the bio energy body. Energy medicine is a method of transmitting healing energy to patient's body through the hands of practitioner to restore or balance the body's energy field. Promoting better health by manipulating the flow of energy. Us‐ ing the practitioner as a conduit to channel the energy.
That definition is a lot to process so here are 5 facts that can clear up the confusion or misconceptions you may have about energy healing :
1.) The body's energy centers have been studied for thousands of years. Reiki is the Japanese tradition of energy healing and dates back to the early 20th century the 7 energy transmission centers of the body described in ancient Hindu text known as Chakras. Meridians, The energy highway of the body and the road map on which traditional Chinese medical practitioners based acupuncture. Although various cultures use different modalities to move the energy they all saw the internal energy as a powerful force of good.
2.) Energy healing is based on scientific. Back to that high school physics. When you say someone has good vibes you are really talking about their energy field vibration happy people vibrate on a higher frequency and you can feel it. Places also have vibes. When you enter a room where an argument has taken place you may feel an energy that makes you want to leave. The beach has a light vibe due to the salt (a natural energy cleanser) and moving air. The air at the beach also vibrates at a higher frequency.
3.) You don't have to be spiritual to benefit from healing energy. Just like you don't have to understand the law of gravity before you can fall down, You don't need to grasp the whole concept of energy healing I recommend going in with an open mind and heart for the greatest benefit. Any time is a good time for an energy healing it releases energy blockages so you feel energetically lighter and happier. It clear stress and tension allowing deep relaxation. It accelerates the body's natural ability to heal itself and increases vitality. It can help with acute injuries ,chronic health issues ,and relieve pain. It also helps clear up negative emotional and mental thought patterns. And if you're feeling good, it's always possible to feel better!!! It's important to note that energy healing is a complimentary modality that shouldn't exclude Western medicine you may be
taking.
4.) Energy healing is totally accessible. Reiki practitioners are all over the world !!! And the beauty of reiki healing is that it can be given and received even of the client and practitioner not in the same room. Why? How? Because the power of intention causes the energy to flow where it is needed.
5.) You can maintain your energetic health at home. Just as you shower and brush your teeth every day, energetic cleansing is also a daily commitment. 15 minutes of meditation ,a walk outside ,an Epsom salt bath or burning sage all clear negativity from around you. All you need to begin your Energy journey is curiosity and a desire to become better.
Real healing comes from account powerful combination of
1) Actually feeling your feelings
2) Taking significant, but baby steps toward a better way of being. In order to heal, you must first be willing to give up the things that are causing you to not be well. Who knows you might just get hooked on feeling better!!!
