Levang Inventory of Family Experiences - LIFE

02/08/2022

I enjoyed Alain de Botton's ideas about relationships.

Looking for some relationship advice on Valentine's Day? Here is the best advice on love and relationships and romanticism from philosopher Alain de Botton!W...

09/04/2021

https://youtu.be/yU_j3SBZU_0

06/27/2021

https://www.facebook.com/100047147465969/posts/344441910470722

05/01/2021

Listening to my 5 minute relaxation video will give you comfort.

04/30/2021

This is a guided image exercise using the concept of "ideal nurturing parents."

07/16/2020

Understanding how PBSP can provide healing for trauma.

03/18/2020

Reflections on LIFE’s Interactional Communication Cards.


Why ideal parent or ideal partner? There are no ideals, correct?

In Pesso Boyden System Psychomotor (PBSP) therapy the concept of an "ideal" relationship is used as an antidote to satisfy unmet childhood needs. We are all shaped by the interactions we experience in our early development. For example, when an infant is hungry the mother meets that need for nurturance by offering her breast for sustenance. This is an "ideal" as the hunger is satisfied. Children are fragile and vulnerable. Parents must respond to the need for safety by providing ideal protection. The more the child's internal needs are met, the more satisfied and fulfilled the child becomes.

Conversely, the parent who does not meet the needs of the child, the more unhappy that child becomes. In this type of interaction, the child learns that, “My needs are too much. Others cannot be trusted. I'm all alone in the world.”

In Matthew 5:48 Jesus says, “Be ye perfect as your Father in heaven is perfect.” Some religious scholars interpret this to mean “ideal completeness of our being.” The parallel in PBSP therapy is that through roleplaying we can experience the completeness of our soul. For example, an individual with unmet attachment issues can experience an ideal parent who “would have truly wanted them.” The ideal parent role player, gives the person an experience of having an unmet need met.
The ideal communication cards gives words to address what internal needs you might have needed satisfied.