08/20/2025
I’m someone who usually feels my feelings deeply. When I notice something stirring under the surface, I turn toward it, investigate it, and often dig for the root cause. So it caught me completely off guard yesterday when, seemingly out of the blue, I found myself sobbing uncontrollably in the co-op parking lot.
For weeks now, I’ve been bebopping through life, talking with friends about how excited I am for my youngest, who’s heading off to his next chapter—college—this week. I’ve told myself it’s easier with the second one. I’ve reassured myself he won’t be all that far away. I’ve kept the conversations light. And yet, there I was—gripped by grief, tears streaming down my face—wondering: how did this sneak up on me?
I think this is why so many people avoid their emotions—because they’re not predictable. They don’t arrive neatly or follow a schedule. They can’t be decoded or controlled, no matter how much inner work we’ve done. Yes, over time we can build tools, cultivate awareness, and learn to be more present with them. We can develop language to express our truth and soften enough to not project our feelings onto others. But emotions will always carry something wild, raw, even feral about them.
The work isn’t to tame them. It’s to be in relationship with them. To welcome them, even when they storm in unannounced. To be gentle with ourselves when they catch us by surprise.
So if you’re a mama or papa feeling tender during this back-to-school season, I see you. I feel you. You’re not alone.
The photo above was taken by my youngest this summer. Looking at it reminded me: this moment of transition is just one part of the larger season. The tears will pass, the heartache will soften, and something new will bloom on the other side.
Sending love to all of us learning how to feel it all—especially when it arrives like a wave we never saw coming. ❤️
