02/18/2026
Just because I am polyamorous does NOT mean I am available to you.
And it definitely does not mean I want your partner. Polyamory is not a group project. It is not a community buffet. It is not “open season.”
Being polyamorous means I am capable of loving more than one person with consent, intention, and integrity.
It does not mean...
• I am attracted to everyone
• I am looking for a third
• I am interested in your dynamic
• I owe anyone access to me
• I automatically want to date within my friend circle
Polyamorous people still have standards. Preferences. Boundaries. Types. Compatibility requirements. Chemistry needs. Emotional capacity limits.
And here is the part some people do not like... Just because you and your partner are polyamorous does not make you entitled to other polyamorous people.
No one is obligated to entertain your couple. No one is required to validate your dynamic. No one owes you interest. Polyamory expands love. It does not eliminate consent. If I am interested, I will say so. If I am not, that is not an attack on your relationship.
It is called autonomy. Normalize not taking rejection personally. Normalize respecting boundaries. Normalize polyam people not being default dating options.
We are not NPCs in your relationship storyline. So... stop trying to unicorn hunt. Stop trying to force or make your "perfect throuple." Life is messy. Relationships are messy. Stop trying to force people into a box.
