09/25/2025
Be gentle with yourself as you journey through the shadows and the light of this sacred work
If you’re gonna engage in ancestral work–babyyyy you betta be immersed in the Shadow work. Not all of our ancestors were decent folk. Some were grimey, obsessive, violent, constantly activated and vengeful AF. Ancestor veneration is an invitation to have range, discernment, and to notice what parts of you are activated by your ish – and what parts are theirs.
Many of us need to reach back into our bloodlines to connect with those before colonialism and cultural disruption – times that cut us from nature and our truest selves.
And. We don’t all need to engage with our dead. Not all need to be engaged with. Some ancestors remain bound to scarcity, abuse lineages, violence, compliance, fear, abandonment, or vengeance. That’s ok. We don’t have to be in relationship with all of them.
I’ve found relating with ancestors is just as rewarding and challenging as with the living. We don’t need to know, see, or listen to all. We get to cut cords, slam doors, and declare: “you will no longer have access to me and my family!”
Being with ancestors requires humility, discernment, boundaries, and constant clarifying. These boundaries must be practiced in real time as well as with the dead. This work is ever changing – and it means facing the shady, resentful, shameful parts too. Because we allll got em.
Community and accountability are vital; part of the decolonial journey is discernment and forgiveness. And we can forgive without inviting people back – ancestors included.
This IS lineage repair work. Sometimes we may need to engage in mutual forgiveness and speak directly to them.
These practices are vital amid collapse and warfare on all planes.
Ancestral veneration is an invitation to discern what is yours, what is theirs, and what you choose to transform.
