10/20/2025
“The best support workers I’ve met don’t have halos of patience hovering over their heads. They have skills. They know how to listen beyond words. They notice tiny details, a shift in tone, a glance, a pause... and they adjust.”
People often tell me, “You must have so much patience to do that kind of work.” They say it with a soft voice and a little head tilt. I know they mean it as a compliment, but they’ve got it wrong.
Patience is what you use when you’re waiting in line at the supermarket and the person ahead of you is paying in pennies. Patience is what you summon when your Wi-Fi goes down. Patience is about waiting for something to end.
Support work isn’t about waiting. It’s about being, being present, being responsive, being humble enough to realize that you’re not the main character in someone else’s story.
The idea that good support work is rooted in patience sells both the worker and the person they support short. It makes it sound like we’re enduring something, like the person with a disability is a test of our goodness.
The best support workers I’ve met don’t have halos of patience hovering over their heads. They have skills. They know how to listen beyond words. They notice tiny details, a shift in tone, a glance, a pause... and they adjust. They can turn frustration into collaboration. They know how to make space for someone’s independence without stepping in to “fix” everything.
Patience says, “I’ll wait for you to catch up.”
Good support says, “I’ll walk with you, at your pace, and learn the rhythm of your stride.”
So no, disability support work doesn’t take patience. It takes respect. It takes skill.
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ID: Image shows a support worker pushing a lady who is sat in her wheelchair. A speech bubble from outside the image reads: You must be so patient! The disabled lady responds by saying: Thank you. Yes I am.
