Solstice Counseling and Consulting, PLLC

Solstice Counseling and Consulting, PLLC I help individuals heal from the effects of toxic, harmful and neglectful parenting.

⸻I’ve been noticing a very particular kind of longing in myself and in many women I work with.The longing to be beheld.N...
05/26/2026

⸻

I’ve been noticing a very particular kind of longing in myself and in many women I work with.

The longing to be beheld.

Not evaluated.
Not improved.
Not advised.
Not measured.

But beheld.

To be looked at and felt as if your presence is enough to soften something in the one who is seeing you.

To be seen in your aliveness without immediately being turned into a project, a performance, or a problem to solve.

So often, what we learn instead is how to manage being seen.

We learn to:

* present ourselves in the “right” way
* soften our edges so we are easier to receive
* anticipate how we will be interpreted
* correct ourselves before anyone else can
* stay aware of how we are coming across

And over time, we can forget that there is another kind of seeing entirely.

A seeing that does not reach for improvement.

A seeing that simply stays.

But the body remembers what it is like to be looked at that way.

Even if only in brief moments:
a glance that feels warm instead of assessing,
a moment of being witnessed without commentary,
a sense of being received rather than analyzed.

And when we don’t have enough of that kind of seeing, something in us can begin to ache.

Not dramatically.

Quietly.

A subtle sense of:
“I don’t think I am fully being met here.”

And many of us try to solve that ache by becoming more:
more capable,
more attractive,
more self-aware,
more understandable,
more “together.”

But what we are actually longing for is not more effort.

It is a different quality of attention.

To be beheld.

And perhaps part of what makes this longing so tender is that we often turn it inward too.

We look at ourselves and repeat the same pattern:
assessment instead of presence.
correction instead of curiosity.
management instead of meeting.

So the longing exists both in relationship with others…
and in relationship with ourselves.

And slowly, something begins to become visible:

There is a difference between being seen…
and being beheld.

And a life changes when you start to feel that difference in your body.

Because then the question is no longer only:
“How do I become someone who is worthy of being seen?”

but also:
“What would it feel like to stop abandoning myself in the way I see me?”

This is some of what I explore in The Fire Mini Retreat on June 20

Not becoming more worthy of attention.

But learning what it feels like to live inside a different kind of seeing — from others, and from yourself

I only have two more spots available in the circle

Is one of them yours?

Registration link in comments.

There is an experience most women have that doesn’t get talked about very clearly.It’s not dramatic.It’s subtle, ordinar...
05/25/2026

There is an experience most women have that doesn’t get talked about very clearly.

It’s not dramatic.

It’s subtle, ordinary, and often so familiar it doesn’t even register as something separate from life itself.

It looks like:

Standing in front of the mirror for a few extra seconds and immediately scanning what needs to be fixed.

Putting on clothes and feeling a quiet internal “nope” before you’ve even fully settled into them.

Brushing your teeth at night while replaying conversations from earlier in the day and thinking about what you should have said differently.

Looking at other women and automatically measuring yourself against them without meaning to.

Trying to relax, but still running a background check on yourself while you do it.

Feeling like you’re always slightly behind your own life — like there’s something you should be doing to yourself before you can fully land in it.

For many women, this doesn’t feel like suffering.

It just feels like functioning.

But something begins to shift when that background noise starts to soften.

And what surprised me is this:

You don’t immediately feel free.

You feel space.

You notice it while washing dishes and suddenly realizing you’re just… there.

Or walking and realizing your mind isn’t actively fixing you in the background.

Or cooking dinner and noticing you’re actually inside the moment instead of observing and evaluating it.

And instead of relief, there can be moments of:
“Why do I feel a little lost?”
“Why does this feel unfamiliar?”
“What am I supposed to be doing with myself right now?”

Not because something is wrong.

But because something familiar has gone quiet.

I’ve started to understand that the inner critic wasn’t just stress.

It was structure.

It was how I located myself inside my life.

So when it softens, there is suddenly space where constant self-monitoring used to be.

And that can feel disorienting at first.

Not long ago, I started noticing this in very ordinary moments:

Walking.
Buying flowers.
Cooking dinner.
Dancing in the kitchen while music is playing.

Moments where I realize:
there is less internal “fixing” happening.

And I’m not fully used to that yet.

Because if I’m not constantly managing myself into becoming someone else…

then I have to meet a different question:
who am I when I’m just here?

This in-between space is not failure.

It’s transition.

And in that transition, something very simple starts to become available again:

Presence.

Washing dishes and actually being in the kitchen.
Walking and actually feeling my body move.
Cooking and noticing color, smell, texture.
Dancing without evaluating how it looks.
Letting moments be enough without immediately improving them.

And slowly, something starts to return that many women haven’t felt in a long time:

Life that is lived from the inside instead of managed from the outside.

Less self-criticism.
Less urgency.
Less internal noise.

More aliveness.
More softness.
More real contact with your actual life.

Not all at once.

But gradually.

Like coming home in layers.

This is what I am exploring in my own life right now, and what I also hold space for in The Tending The Fire Mini Retreat on June 20th

Not becoming a different woman.

But learning how to inhabit your actual life without abandoning yourself through constant self-judgment.

If this resonates, I would love to have you there. The circle is filling up so claim your spot soon♥️

Registration link in comments

Tonight I was kind of hungry, but I didn’t want anything heavy.I wanted something warm.Something nourishing.Something th...
05/22/2026

Tonight I was kind of hungry, but I didn’t want anything heavy.

I wanted something warm.Something nourishing.Something that felt easy on my body.

So I heated up a mug of bone broth and stood quietly in my kitchen holding it in my hands, thinking about tending.

Not fixing.Not forcing.Not depriving.Not punishing.

Tending.

For so many years, I thought care for the body had to come through discipline, pressure, self-denial, and trying to become smaller, more acceptable, more “worthy.”

But lately something softer and truer has been emerging.

A question:What would make things easier on her?

What would nourish instead of strain?What would warm instead of harden?What would support life instead of fight it?

And standing there with that warm broth, I realized this is the work of tending the fire.

Not just metaphorically.Literally.

The fire inside us needs tending:our bodies,our nervous systems,our joy,our aliveness,our grief,our longing,our beauty,our exhaustion,our becoming.

Not through intensity.Through relationship.

Through small steady acts of care.

A nourishing meal.A slower breath.A walk.Fresh flowers on the table.Movement that feels alive.Rest without guilt.Choosing not to abandon ourselves while we heal.

This is the heart of the Tending the Fire mini retreat.And it is the deeper invitation of France as well.

Not self-improvement as punishment.But coming home to yourself.

Learning how to live with more beauty, more intimacy, more aliveness, more presence inside your own life.

Less war.More warmth.

That’s the fire I want to tend now.

Spaces for both experiences are beginning to fill, and I would love to have you there.

Registration link in comments.

I’ve had a lot of people ask me what Tending means as I’ve spoken to them about my upcoming tending the fire mini retrea...
05/20/2026

I’ve had a lot of people ask me what Tending means as I’ve spoken to them about my upcoming tending the fire mini retreat on June 20

So I want to explain it in a simple way.

To me, it’s a lot like tending a garden.

You don’t wait until a plant is completely dried out and struggling before you give it water.

You pay attention along the way.

You notice what needs rest, what needs nourishment, what needs space, what needs care.

And you also wouldn’t yank a plant out of the ground just because it wasn’t growing fast enough.

You’d understand that growth has a pace.
That it needs the right conditions.
That it responds to consistency, not pressure.

That’s what tending ourselves looks like too.

Most women are living in constant output:
thinking, planning, responding, caring for others, managing details, holding emotional weight.

And because of that, they often don’t notice how full or tired they are until they hit a wall.

Tending is the practice of stepping in earlier.

Not waiting for burnout, overwhelm, or shutdown to finally listen to yourself.

But slowing down enough to notice what’s happening inside you while life is still moving.

And when women do that, the changes are often very practical.

More clarity.
Less reactivity.
More presence with the people in their lives.
Less constant internal pressure.

Not because they’ve become someone different.

But because they’re no longer ignoring what they need until it becomes impossible to miss.

If this resonates and you feel curious about the Tending the Fire mini retreat, you’re welcome to message me for details 🤍

Spots are filling up quickly, and I’m keeping the group intentionally small so the experience can stay intimate and grounded.

05/15/2026

For the women who feel like they have 37 tabs open in their brain all the time 🤍

The Tending the Fire mini retreat is a few hours to slow down, stop holding everything for a bit, and actually hear yourself think again.

If this resonates, you’re welcome to message me for details.

I’ve been reflecting on the kind of women who are signing up for the Tending the Fire mini retreat on June 20th Women wh...
05/15/2026

I’ve been reflecting on the kind of women who are signing up for the Tending the Fire mini retreat on June 20th

Women who carry a tremendous amount mentally and emotionally without always realizing how much they’re holding.

Not just responsibilities on paper.

But the constant internal management underneath daily life.

Remembering what needs to get done.
Managing schedules.
Thinking ahead for everyone.
Replying to messages.
Holding emotional tension in relationships.
Keeping up with work while also trying to be present at home.
Making decisions all day long.
Trying not to forget anything important.
Trying to meet everyone’s needs while slowly losing touch with their own.

Even during “rest,” the mind often keeps going.

The running list.
The planning.
The worrying.
The replaying conversations.
The feeling that there’s always something else waiting.

And after a while, many women adapt to that level of internal pressure so fully that they stop noticing how heavy it feels.

That’s why spaces like this matter.

Because when women step out of that pace for even a few intentional hours, they often return to their lives differently.

More patient.
More clear-headed.
Less reactive.
Less emotionally crowded.

They communicate more directly instead of holding everything in until it spills over.

They notice overwhelm sooner and respond to it earlier instead of pushing themselves past their limits.

They often return home more present with the people they love because their nervous system isn’t stretched so thin.

Not because four hours magically changes a life.

But because sometimes a pause is enough to help someone remember there’s another way to move through their days.

Four women have already said yes to this space, and I’m feeling deeply thoughtful about the room that’s forming.

I’ll only be opening this experience to a small number of women so it can remain intimate, grounded, and supportive.

If you feel drawn, you’re welcome to message me for details while there’s still room in the circle 🤍

Today I’ve been noticing how hard it can be to actually let love land.The kindness.The tenderness.The care people are tr...
05/11/2026

Today I’ve been noticing how hard it can be to actually let love land.

The kindness.
The tenderness.
The care people are trying to show me for Mother’s Day.

Part of me wants to brush it off or distract myself.
To act like it’s not a big deal.
To stay moving.
To not fully feel it.

And another part of me wants to hold onto it tightly…
almost afraid the moment will disappear as quickly as it came.

I think a lot of us live somewhere inside that tension.

Wanting connection deeply…
while also struggling to fully receive it.

Because receiving can feel incredibly vulnerable.

Especially for those of us who learned to stay busy, emotionally responsible, independent, or hyperaware of everyone else’s needs.

Sometimes we become so accustomed to tending, anticipating, managing, and holding everything together that slowing down long enough to actually feel love, care, grief, tenderness, or connection can feel overwhelming to the nervous system.

And today, alongside all the love, I also received news that someone I knew passed away last night.

So there’s this strange feeling in me of being both heartbroken and heartbroken open.

More aware of how fragile life is.
More aware of how quickly moments pass.
More aware of how deeply we need each other.

I think this is part of why I’m creating Tending the Fire.

Not as another space for performance or self-improvement.
But as a place where women can practice letting things land a little more fully.

Connection.
Reflection.
Care.
Honesty.
Rest.
Tenderness.

A space where you don’t have to hold everything together for a few hours.

Where you don’t have to force openness or have everything figured out.

Just a slower, steadier space to be human together.

If this speaks to something tender in you too, I’d love to have you join us June 20 for four hours to tend life in community.

DM me for details.. i’ll save your seat in the circle❤️

I’ve been sharing about the Tending the Fire retreat in France next year, and one thing I keep hearing is:“I need this n...
05/07/2026

I’ve been sharing about the Tending the Fire retreat in France next year, and one thing I keep hearing is:

“I need this now.”
“I don’t want to wait a year to experience this.”
“I don’t even fully know what ‘tending’ means, but something in me feels pulled toward it.”

And honestly… I understand that.

Because I think so many of us are living with a kind of quiet accumulation.

Holding emotions we haven’t had time to process.
Moving quickly from one responsibility to the next.
Functioning. Performing. Managing.
Meanwhile, some deeper part of us is whispering:

Can we please slow down for a minute?

To me, tending is the practice of turning toward yourself with care instead of urgency.

Not fixing yourself.
Not optimizing yourself.
Not forcing healing.

Just learning how to stay with yourself a little more gently.
Listening to what your body, emotions, and nervous system have been trying to say underneath all the noise.

It’s creating space to notice:
What’s heavy.
What’s unfinished.
What needs rest.
What wants to breathe again.

That’s why I decided to create a 4-hour Tending the Fire mini retreat on June 20 at a local art gallery.

A space to experience this work now.
In a grounded, accessible, in-person way.

Not a performance.
Not pressure to share or “break through.”
Just room to soften, reconnect, and exhale a little.

If you’ve been feeling the pull, this may be for you 🤍

Shoot me a DM and I’ll give you the details

One woman said yes.And I felt it — not in a loud, celebratory way, but in a quiet, steady exhale.Because this retreat m...
04/29/2026

One woman said yes.

And I felt it — not in a loud, celebratory way,
but in a quiet, steady exhale.

Because this retreat matters to me.
The pace of it.
The care behind it.
The kind of space I want to hold.

And the woman who said yes…
she’s someone I love deeply.

She is thoughtful.
Kind in the way that doesn’t need to be seen.
She holds a lot.
She shows up for people again and again.
She is deeply, quietly lovable.

And — like so many women —
she doesn’t really see herself that way.

She questions herself.
She moves quickly past her own needs.
She gives more than she receives.
She keeps going, even when something in her is asking for space.

That’s the woman this is for.

Not the loudest voice in the room.
Not the one trying to optimize or perform her healing.
But the one who feels deeply,
who carries a lot with care,
and who might be quietly longing for a place to set it all down.

Tending the Fire isn’t about becoming someone new.
It’s about creating space to actually feel yourself again —
maybe in a way you haven’t in a long time.

So this first “yes” feels meaningful.
Because it feels true to who this space is for.

If you’re reading this and something in you recognizes yourself here…
you’re invited.

There’s room for a few more women to join us in France.

You don’t need to be certain.
Just willing to listen to what’s gently calling you.

If somegimg in you is curious, you’re welcome to reach out♥️

04/25/2026

I’m in line at the grocery store the other day and I hear these two women talking about how exhausted they are

And I think to myself, I know this kind of tired. It’s not the kind of tired that a good night sleep can fix.

It’s the kind of tired that happens when we are holding too much for too long and we don’t have any place to set it down

And a lot of of us are living in that reality right now

Not because we’re doing anything wrong, but because there is so little space to process what we’re carry

That’s why I am intentionally creating workshops and retreats that have the capacity to honor the weight of it all

Not to fix anything. Not to add any more to do.

To give us all a space to land

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2012 New Garden Road , Suite E
Greensboro, NC
27410

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