Solstice Counseling and Consulting, PLLC, 2012 New Garden Road , Suite E, Greensboro, NC (2025)

08/10/2025

Core wounds are deep emotional injuries—often formed in early life—that influence how we view ourselves, others, and the world. In relationships, they act like emotional landmines, subconsciously shaping our behavior and reactions. Here’s how they can sabotage relationships:

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1. Triggering Insecurity and Overreaction

Core wounds (like “I’m not good enough,” “I’m unlovable,” or “People will abandon me”) can get triggered by small, even innocent, actions. For example:
• Your partner doesn’t reply quickly → You feel abandoned → You lash out or withdraw.
• Your partner criticizes something minor → You hear “You’re not good enough” → You become defensive or crushed.

Sabotage: Reactions are outsized and confusing to your partner, creating distance or conflict.

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2. Creating Unrealistic Expectations

Wounds create a subconscious “contract”—you expect your partner to fill a void they never created. For example:
• Wanting constant reassurance for fear of abandonment.
• Expecting your partner to “heal” your lack of self-worth.

Sabotage: Your needs become overwhelming or impossible to meet, breeding resentment or burnout.

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3. Encouraging Self-Sabotage

If your core wound says “I’m not worthy of love,” you might:
• Pick partners who treat you poorly (to confirm the belief).
• Push away those who treat you well (because it feels unfamiliar or scary).

Sabotage: You unconsciously recreate the pain you’re trying to avoid.

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4. Impaired Communication

Core wounds filter how you hear what your partner says:
• They say: “I need some space.”
You hear: “You’re too much. I don’t want you.”

Sabotage: Misunderstandings build up, causing distrust, fear, and emotional disconnection.

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5. Emotional Avoidance or Overdependence

Depending on the wound:
• Some people avoid intimacy to protect themselves from potential hurt (emotional walls).
• Others cling tightly, fearing abandonment.

Sabotage: Either dynamic prevents healthy connection and mutual respect.

⸻

Healing is Possible!

Come join me this Saturday 8/16 from 9:30 to 12:30 at Second Breath Center as we unpack each attachment styles core wounds, and how these false narratives may subconsciously be impacting your relationship

Link to register is below

https://forms.gle/1B2zCKJbUKLTjzso6

I’d love to see you there❤️

08/04/2025

Here are the common areas I see in my practice that couples have a challenging time negotiating:

1). Money
“Why did you buy that without telling me?”
“We need to save more”

2). Communication style
“ you never listen to me”
“ why are you always so passive aggressive? “

3). S*x and intimacy
“ we never have s*x anymore”
“You only touch me when you want something”

4) Household division of labor
“ I do everything around here”
“ why do I always have to remind you to take out the trash, etc.?”

5)Time and attention
“ You never make time for me anymore”
“you’re here but you’re not here”

6)Jealousy and Trust
“I want to spend time with my friends. Why don’t you trust me?
“I don’t understand why you’re still talking to your ex “

7)Parenting
“You’re too strict “
“You’re not involved enough “

8)Future plans
“I thought we’d be farther along by now with saving money, living together, etc. “

Though these are seemingly eight different conflicts, they all have two things in common

The meaning we give to our partner’s actions, which is often influenced by our conditioned childhood beliefs

Unmet needs that we have not clearly expressed to our partner.

We are going to dive straight into the heart of both of these issues, as well as how to resolve them, in my upcoming Attachment 101 for Couples Saturday August 16th from 9:30-12:30 at Second Breath Center.

Interested? Fill out this form and I’ll be in touch!

https://forms.gle/1B2zCKJbUKLTjzso6

Learning skills to work your way through these very common conflicts will do wonders for your relationship!

07/31/2025

Wanna know 5 ways attending my Attachment 101 For Couples can help you improve your relationship with your beloved?
⸻

1. Increase Self-Awareness

Understanding your attachment style (secure, anxious, avoidant, or disorganized) helps you recognize:
• Your needs in relationships (e.g., closeness, independence).
• Patterns of behavior under stress or conflict (e.g., withdrawal, clinging).
• Triggers that cause insecurity or fear.

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2. Improve Communication

When you understand how your attachment style influences your behavior, you can:
• Express your needs more clearly.
• Take responsibility for your part in conflicts.
• Be more honest about what you’re feeling, instead of reacting defensively or passive-aggressively.

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3. Develop Empathy for Others

Knowing about attachment styles allows you to:
• Understand why your partner behaves a certain way.
• Be less likely to take their behavior personally.
• Respond with compassion rather than judgment or fear.

⸻

4. Break Unhealthy Patterns

Attachment awareness lets you:
• Identify repeated patterns in your relationships (e.g., pushing people away, chasing after unavailable partners).
• Interrupt these cycles with healthier choices.
• Work on healing wounds from early relationships or past experiences.

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5. Build More Secure Connections

When you understand your attachment style and work toward security, you can:
• Foster trust and mutual respect.
• Create a safe emotional space with others.
• Attract and sustain healthier, more balanced relationships.

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Summary:

Self-awareness + empathy + conscious effort = healthier relationships.

Attachment style is not destiny. It’s a roadmap that, once understood, gives you more control over your emotional responses and relationship choices.

Register at this link to create partnerships that flourish at the gorgeous Second Breath Center on 8/16

https://forms.gle/1B2zCKJbUKLTjzso6

07/28/2025

Remember when you and your partner first started dating?

You couldn’t get enough of each other, little things made you think of them, you couldn’t wait to see each other again, and the relationship seemed so effortless and easy

Then, slowly, little fight started to happen.

Maybe you felt irritated with each other more.
One person may have started pulling away or asking for more space.

The arguments began.

You may have even started to question why this person had changed so much, feeling like you didn’t even know who they were.

Perhaps you started questioning if the relationship was right for you or you even left the relationship.

You could have been the one who was left and felt very confused about why a relationship you really thought had potential ended abruptly

Welcome to the power struggle stage

This is in inevitable, necessary, part of all romantic relationships

It is where the mask start to drop. Where you start to develop real feelings and connection with the other person, and your old coping mechanisms from childhood start to rear their head.

S**t gets real and the unhealthy meaning we give to attaching deeply to another person flashes like neon signs and can feel like alarm bells going off in every cell of our body screaming our own version of “IM NOT SAFE HERE”

The power struggle stage is the point at which most relationships dissolve if they’re going to.

It is also not uncommon for couples to be stuck in the power struggle stage for years and years and years, even if they are married or in a lifetime commitment.

Without knowing how to properly navigate the cycle , it can be absolutely miserable and profoundly painful to feel alone in your relationship, unsure if you should stay or go or feel overwhelmed with all the demands your partner seems to make on you

The keys to getting out of this stage in your relationship is to understand where you had a painful relationship to attachment and connectioni in childhood and to learn, and to be able to communicate effectively what you need in a partnership

We will be covering both of these topics in my Attachment 101 for Couples: Relationships That Thrive.

You don’t have to stay stuck in this.
You’re actually not meant to.

Relationships can be so incredibly healing and beautiful and wonderfully messy in the best possible way

All it takes is a little knowledge and guidance and that is what I am excited to offer you on August 16th from 9:30-12-30 at Second Breath Center in Greesboro.

https://forms.gle/1B2zCKJbUKLTjzso6

Register at the link above and I will get in touch with you!

Let’s get you back to connection, harmony, and relationships that feel like a sanctuary instead of a battlefield

07/24/2025

People with Anxious attachment and Avoidant attachment actually have the same emotion behind their actions: FEAR.

Fear of being left. Fear that love is all consuming and they will be trapped Fear that love will hurt and lead to disappointment. Fear that connection comes at too high a price.

The root is the same.

The behaviors, or survival strategies learned in childhood, however., are worlds apart.

The voice of anxious attachment says “please don’t leave me, I’ll do anything to keep you. The possibility of you abandoning me terrifies me.”

The voice of avoidant attachment says “ don’t get too close. I will lose myself. And the possibility of being engulfed by you terrifies me.”

This is the heart of most conflict between people with an anxious attachment style and an avoidant attachment style.

One seeks emotional closeness, and connection.

The other seeks emotional space and distance.

As you can imagine, this leads to both partners feeling disconnected, unseen, unheard, undervalued and misunderstood.

It’s a very common, though painful relationship dynamic that I see often in my practice

The good news?

This is a solvable problem

And helping couples learn how to solve it is exactly why I have created Attachment 101 For Couples: Rekationships That Thrive.

Come join me and the other couples who have already said yes to this opportunity on Saturday, August 16 from 9:30 to 12:30 at Second Breath center here in Greensboro.

We will dive into all things attachment and explore very common patterns I see in relationships with partners who have different attachment styles.

You will leave with practical tools to help your relationship, flow, more smoothly, and restore connection

If you’re interested complete this form and I will be in touch

https://forms.gle/1B2zCKJbUKLTjzso6

If you attend, there is absolutely no pressure or expectation to share or speak at all. There is also plenty of space if you’d like to share a lot.!

I hope to see you there!

❤️

03/06/2025

Come join me Monday at 11:30 right here on FB to learn how unprocessed past trauma may be unknowingly creating attraction to narcissists and other unhealthy people.

We will be diving into 6 common patterns I see in people who have relationships with narcissists and what you can do about it!

See you Monday ❤️

02/26/2025

Join me Monday here at 11:30 for our FB live on Understanding Attachment.

Our topic: The Covert Narcissist

This type of narcissist is just as dangerous and damaging as their traditional more grandiose counterparts, though they can be trickier to spot.

See you soon ♥️

02/24/2025

Hey guys!
Going live at 11:30 to wrap our discussion on narcissistic personality disorder

02/17/2025

Usually on Monday we have our FB live on attachment.

Today, I had the chance to take to the streets during that time and use my voice to say NO!

Here’s your reminder to stand up today for what you believe in, no matter how seemingly inconsequential

Truth does not blossom in silence.

I’ll see you all here next Monday at 11:30 ❤️

01/31/2025

Come join me Monday at 11:30 for our weekly FB live on attachment.

I’m going to be starting a short series on Narcissistic Personality Disorder- what it is and what it’s not.

My hope is that this information will help as all navigate the next four years of the current narcissistic president, as well as be informative for anyone who has been or is currently in a relationship like this

See you soon ❤️

Solstice Counseling and Consulting, PLLC

08/10/2025

08/04/2025

07/31/2025

07/28/2025

07/24/2025

03/06/2025

02/26/2025

02/24/2025

02/17/2025

01/31/2025

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