04/20/2026
Weeks ago, I noticed a wounded butterfly in the grass who couldn't fly. I moved it out of the main walking path. I left it there, hoping for the best, but as I entered my door and stood in my kitchen, I couldn't get the little one out of my mind. My heart ached, wondering if it would be ok and if I could do anything else to help. I searched the internet and learned that if their wings are slightly uneven, they can't fly so I'd need to make the other wing even. Imagine me with small nail scissors about to clip a small piece of wing from the other side of an already ailing butterfly! The reputable sourced article assured me that it's like cutting our human hair and wouldn't hurt the winged being. I did it and it still couldn't fly, even though it kept trying. Tears welled up in my eyes, my shoulders collapsed, head fell, and I cried. My jaw going from tense to slack, my breath moving my chest. With blurry eyes, I gazed out of my window, hearing the chirping of birds and the rustling of tree leaves.
Grief is a nuanced and layered aspect of life. It can carry with it rage, wonder, sadness, reverence, and numerous other things. In my 20's and 30's, I mourned but I pushed a lot of it away, feeling slightly numb to it. When losing a loved one, it can be paired with other losses, as if they are all linked. Standing there with my friend, the butterfly, I felt those links and I let myself shed cleansing tears, the kind that bring an exhale, which loosens the jaw and temples.
When the tears cleared, I went walking in the park looking for milkweed or any other plant on the list for the butterfly to eat. I soaked a cotton ball with sugar water and cut a strawberry instead, but it wouldn't eat. Placing the butterfly on my finger, it jumped to the window screen and stayed there, with food nearby just in case it decided to eat, feeling a level of hope. Eventually, I searched the internet for butterfly farms that may help wounded butterflies and messaged them.
At work, the next day, I heard back from them and they said yes, they may be able to help the butterfly. With a full day of clients, I couldn't leave but my niece, Zoe, took the butterfly to All-A-Flutter Farms LLC in High Point and they sent me a message later: "the swallowtail butterfly is in our care. There’s no obvious/visual injury, but it is injured. Even though the wings are chipped it should still be able to fly (which indicates a injury that isn’t visible). Perhaps it was bitten by a spider or other predator. It has been eating and beginning to move around a bit more. We will keep it in a safe enclosure and provide food for as long as it survives."
A dear friend of mine passed recently, her ailing body ready to pass to the next world. We searched for ways to mend her wings...
Since having the experience with this butterfly, I have seen numerous other butterflies, the same kind, the yellow, black, and blue swallowtail, flying free. I smile and say hello.
From my Wellness Librarian Blog: https://www.terahhwe.com/post/saving-a-butterfly
