09/22/2025
Greenville’s hottest singles aren’t on Bumble… they’re under your sink.
Meet the products with profiles.
409 – The Fixer
Age: 35 | Occupation: Auto Tech at a Woodruff Rd. shop
Bio: “I don’t overcomplicate things — I see a problem, I fix it. No drama, no delay. Not flashy, but you’ll always be glad I showed up.”
Looking For: “Someone who values reliability and zero nonsense.”
Fabuloso – The Party Guest
Age: 27 | Occupation: Bartender at a downtown rooftop bar
Bio: “I smell like fun and look good in every color. I bring energy wherever I go and believe life should feel like a celebration.”
Looking For: “Someone who loves live music, festivals, and late-night tacos.”
Windex – The Perfectionist
Age: 32 | Occupation: Optician at Haywood Mall
Bio: “I notice the details others miss. Friends say I help them see things clearly. A little intense at times, but only because I care.”
Looking For: “Someone who values honesty and clear communication.”
Mr. Clean Magic Eraser – The Muscle
Age: 40 | Occupation: Personal Trainer at 9Round
Bio: “Strong, dependable, and mysterious. I’ve been told I have a ‘dangerous’ side, but I only use my power for good. I’m not here for small talk.”
Looking For: “Someone who appreciates quiet strength.”
Clorox Bleach – The Enforcer
Age: 50 | Occupation: High School Principal in Greenville County
Bio: “I live by the rules and keep everything in order. No half-measures — it’s all or nothing with me. Some find me strict, but I keep things safe.”
Looking For: “Someone who respects boundaries.”
Lysol Spray – The Bouncer
Age: 38 | Occupation: Security at Bon Secours Wellness Arena
Bio: “Protective and a little intense. I like to keep bad vibes out. I’m upfront, no hidden agendas, and I don’t let trouble past the velvet rope.”
Looking For: “Someone who feels safer with me around.”
