08/10/2025
Marriage Moment 💡
In conflict, couples tend to get caught up in who’s right. In couples therapy, I work with partners see the cycle, the repeating pattern you both get pulled into when you’re hurt or stressed.
When you can say, “We’re in our cycle,” you shift from me vs. you to us vs. the problem. That’s where real change can begin.
Recognizing the cycle is the first step, now here are 3 simple ways you can interrupt it and create healthier habits together, starting today.
Use a Calm-Down Pause
When emotions run high, agree to take a short break, 10 to 20 minutes to regulate. Agree to come back when you’re both ready to listen and talk respectfully.
Switch from “You” Statements to “I” Statements
Instead of saying, “You always…” try expressing how you feel by saying, “I feel [emotion] when [situation].” Speaking from your own experience invites connection and lowers defensiveness.
End the Day with a Positive Connection
Before bed, share one thing you appreciated about each other that day. Small moments of gratitude build emotional safety over time.
Remember, every small step you take together helps build a stronger, more connected marriage. Change doesn’t happen overnight, but it starts with awareness and intention.
