Gunnison Valley recovery and relapse prevention network

03/27/2025

💯💯💯

03/20/2025

absolutely love this song huge part of my journey recently. ❤️

Watch and share my new music video for “Chasing Rebels”! Check out my latest release - https://BenFuller.lnk.to/NewestReleaseIDListen to my album "Who I Am" ...

03/20/2025

The gunnison group of narcotics anonymous is now meeting twice a week @ Bethany church. ⛪️
Wednesday & Friday nights @ 7pm. 🕖
Entrance is in the alley. If you are in recovery or struggling with addiction come join us. Have a coffee. Tea. You will find a strong 💪 group of men and women who will welcome you with open arms. We walk this road together. Support one another. Uplift one another. Learn from one another. Share openly and connect with one another on this healing journey of growth, discovery , camaraderie and purpose. It’s the common pain, struggles and difficulties that bind us together in our purpose! Where ever you are in your journey I can promise you this, we will be stronger with you than with out you and you are a vital part of restoration in our community even if you haven’t started your recovery Journey yet ! We will be here when you’re ready to take that first step ! 🙏🏻

I love you Gunnison valley & thank you for everything you’ve done for me, all your love, grace and support I wouldn’t be the man I am today without this community. God bless and as always spread peace and love every where you go and love your fellow travelers !



GVRRPN 3/19/2025 ✍️

03/17/2025

A love hate relationship:

In addiction, i loved a drug, combination of drugs. Maybe it’s how it made me feel at first. That euphoric feeling. The dopamine. The feeling of “pleasure” i felt in a life that otherwise knew none. I loved that temporarily everything i didn’t love about myself seemed to go away. I didn’t realize that I put drugs before everything else. I didn’t realize that they meant more to me than anything else in life. I would choose them over everything. Then tell the people closest to me I loved them and expect them to believe me. Truth is I loved something that made me hate myself. I chased these substances wherever they may have been just to serve myself up a temporary pleasure followed by a sustained and lasting self loathing. I knew the results that would follow. Ruin. Drugs never loved me back. Why did I chase the illusion ? Looking back in practice it would have appeared to most I loved drugs more than anything. I always chose them so they weren’t wrong nor was it unfair to make that assumption. Though I always thought they were unfairly judging me. In hindsight I never loved drugs. Love is real. My obsession with drugs was just that. An obsession. Far more deeply rooted in “comfort” than anything. Was i in love with the dysfunction then ? No. Dysfunction was my comfort zone. Everybody loves comfort. It’s easy. Love is hard. It takes effort. Awareness. A genuine concern and desire to grow and provide and care for one’s self and others for the greatest good. Thoughtful consideration of ones well being. The ability to work towards the healthiest outcome. Truth is I didn’t love myself. Didn’t know how. Drugs made me feel good, nothing else did. So I loved them until I grew to hate myself for it. I hated that I would choose them over my family. Friends. Responsibilities. Future. Dreams. Hobbies. I’d choose them over everything then seeth in a pool of self hatered for everything they took from me. But the drugs didnt take anything. I willingly gave it all away. That realization fueled my disgust for myself. Self pity and self loathing were the king and queen of my existence. The obsession with feeling good the only way I knew how resulted in waves of self hatred crashing down on me all the time. The drugs quit working. As a matter of fact they started to amplify the shame, guilt, remorse, resentment, fear, bitterness, self pity and self loathing to the point that no amount of dopamine could wash it away. Its proof that there is no chemical solution for a spirtual problem. When your soul hurts and nothing you can consume will make you feel better you have spiritual problem. That’s where I was. I turned my inward hate outward on others. In hindsight I was projecting it out as a temporary release. To relieve some pressure. My soul sickness was getting worse, I needed to inflict pain on others to leverage the upper hand and feel like I had power over the vaccum of pain inside myself that was destroying me. I was beginning to hate others and the world deliberately to relieve myself of SELF hatred. It doesnt work. It’s an illusion of power weilding my personal pains over others. Very very ugly. This was the beginning of the end. Driving everyone away with my literal “madness” only led to more self hatred. So that stopped working too. I was all alone. In a hole 🕳️ so deep I couldn’t see the the light. This hole was an abyssal collapse inside my own heart and soul that felt as though it would pull me into utter darkness forever. I wished it would. It never did. The weight of it was unbearable. I wanted it all to end. There was nothing to love about myself and everything to hate. I felt the same about the world. Those who loved me shouldn’t thats how I felt. The ones I loved deserved better. I should just disappear. Everyone would be better off. Thats how I felt. I hated myself, life, so much at the end I just wanted to be dead. But death wouldn’t have me, and the drugs didn’t do what I wanted to them to anymore so I hated them too. I hated all the effort I had to put in chasing them just to end up feeling the same. Or worse. I had nothing left. So I gave up. I gave up trying to feel different. I knew nothing would work. I texted Someone in recovery whom I respected. He sent me a message at my lowest point that said “ love yourself just enough today to not use or die, you can love yourself a little more tomorrow.” I said ok. I did just that. I’ve continued to love myself everyday by not using for almost 6 years now. There’s been a lot work in between but I love the man I am today. I love life. I love others. I love God without him I’m nothing. I love serving others and my community. There is no hate in me. If you are in that dark place I am here for you. There is more to life than loving something that will only lead you to hating yourself. If all you can do today is love yourself enough to not use … do that !
Reach out. I’ll be there. We will be there ! There is a growing community of recovering addicts who have been where you’ve been and trust me when I say we love you !! 💯🚶🏻

I love you Gunnison valley let’s walk this road together!

/FindFellowship

GVRRPN 3/17/2025 ✍️

03/10/2025

01/08/2025

Good morning. ☀️

Recovering and growing into new positive habits and routines is hard. I get it. It’s especially difficult in addiction to change for the positive when you don’t see anything positive around you. Up close. Looking back on my past I always wanted different. Thought about living different. Making different choices. Truth was in many ways I didn’t know how. Sure I saw other people living healthier more productive lives, but those people were not close to me. They were not largely going to have direct impact on my life. They were outside of the realm In which i lived. I often judged how my life felt on the inside by what other peoples lives looked on the outside. Everybody close to me was doing what I was doing. Chasing a bag. Suffering. Struggling. Lying. Cheating. Stealing. Hustling. Going to jail. You know the gauntlet of daily failures that are the life of addiction. We didn’t have anything to give one another. You just can’t transmit something you don’t have. It wasn’t until I met people who were in recovery. Who had a process of growth and practical experience that they could pass on to me that I was able to get some traction. People who had successfully changed their way of thinking. Living. Learned how to love themselves. Control their impulses. Learned how to build a disciplined routine. Escaped the loop of addiction. Understood where I was. Where I’d been. What it was like and where I wanted to go. Who were once unwell like i was. Who were willing to teach me how to get well. It’s for these and so many other reasons I think I work so hard to have a good understanding of my experience and a willingness to continue growing. It’s makes it possible for me to share what is possible in recovery and how it can be achieved for those who just don’t see anything positive around them. If you are struggling , I know it’s hard but try and get outside the loop, try different things and trust the people who put faith in your ability to change. Listen to them. Learn from them. Honestly seek answers and solutions. Try to implement new ways of thinking and living. Because the truth is as addicts EVERYTHING has to change if ANYTHING in our life is to be different. Luckily it only has to happen one choice, one day, one learning experience at a time. Understand that the people who love and believe in you no matter how far you’ve slid down the scales in life.. those are your people. When they lift you up, thank them by working hard to remain on your feet and grow. You’ll have so much to offer them in return if you just stay the course and give yourself a chance. In order to transform from a life of being spiritually bankrupt to really enriching your being you will need invest in yourself one deposit at a time. The lessons are the currency. You
won’t learn new things staying in the same old places. 💯🚶🏻

Above all when you are stuck in loop and don’t what to do and you feel like all is lost. PRAY ! Even you don’t know how. I promise you prayer works. It might not happen in ways you’d expect or on your timeline .. but I can promise it will change your life. 🙏🕊️

🔂
👑🩸⚔️🛡️✝️

J.Fish 1/8/2024

08/10/2024

To those in recovery or yearning to be: 🙏🚶🏻

Let us turn our gaze inward, where the dance of shadows and light reveals the intricate tapestry of our souls. In the realm of human experience, we encounter myriad challenges, and one such dance that many engage in is the struggle with alcoholism.

Now, as we tread these waters, let us first cast away the net of judgment and condemnation. Instead, let us embrace the understanding that we are all fellow travelers, each navigating our own path through the complexities of existence.

Alcoholism, my friends, is often a symptom—a symptom of a deeper yearning, a quest for fulfillment that extends beyond the mere material. It is a reaching out for solace, a momentary escape from the turbulence within.

But, my beloveds, let us not be deceived by the illusion that external substances can quench the thirst of the soul. No, the true nectar lies within the reservoir of self-awareness and spiritual connection.

In the tapestry of existence, each thread represents a choice—a choice to be present, to cultivate mindfulness, and to understand the roots of our desires. It is a journey inward, a pilgrimage to the center of our being.

As we tread this path, let us be bathed in the light of compassion—for ourselves and for others. We are not defined by our struggles, but by our capacity to rise above them, learning and evolving with each step.

Mindfulness, dear friends, becomes our guide. Through the practice of being fully present in the moment, we unravel the threads that bind us to habitual patterns. It is the key to breaking free from the chains that bind us.

Yet, let us not walk this path alone. In the company of kindred spirits, in the embrace of community, we find strength. For it is in the sharing of our stories and the offering of support that true healing takes place.

And as we journey, let us not forget the transformative power of service. In extending a helping hand to others, we transcend the narrow confines of our own struggles and discover the expansive realm of purpose.

So, my friends, let us walk this path with open hearts and open minds. May the light of understanding guide us, and may the journey toward self-realization be one of compassion, mindfulness, and shared support.

In the tapestry of existence, let our threads weave a story of healing, of awakening, and of a shared journey toward the ever-elusive but ever-present truth that resides within us all.

Be well, my friends, and may your journey be filled with light and love. 💫❤️