
06/26/2025
Most people think libido starts in the bedroom. It doesn’t. It starts in the brain. And it’s not just one switch, one hormone, or one mood that flips it on or off. It’s an entire network, dopamine for wanting, serotonin for control, testosterone for drive, oxytocin for bonding. Each of them plays a role. Each of them can shift the balance.
So when someone says “my s*x drive is off,” it’s rarely just about one thing. Hormones matter. Neurotransmitters matter. But so does sleep, stress, trauma, connection, and timing.
Desire is biological, sure, but it’s also psychological, relational, and responsive. Especially as we age, what once felt automatic now needs intention.
If libido’s gone quiet, the goal isn’t just to “bring it back.” It’s to understand what it needs to show up again. Sometimes that’s testosterone or estrogen. Other times it’s less cortisol and more sleep. Often, it’s healing, patience, or a better conversation with your partner, or yourself.
Desire is complex. But it’s not broken. It’s responsive, like you. It needs care, clarity, and context. And when you give it that, it rebuilds stronger, wiser, and more connected than before.