05/30/2023
12 HABITS OF HAPPY WOMEN
Happiness looks different for everyone and your criteria of evaluating life are unique. So while we don’t know your personal definition, some habits can make the way to your goal easier. They will bring joy in the moment and contentment in the long term.
WE KNOW HOW TO SAY “NO”
“Saying no is more challenging for women because of societal pressures to be likable. Men are still seen as likable if they're assertive, while women are more likely to be seen as likable if they're compliant,” says clinical psychologist Mary McKinney, Ph.D (3).
Yet, professional and personal boundaries are core in stress management, healthy relationships, and even physical wellness (3). If you don’t feel like talking to someone or going out tonight, then don’t. Wouldn’t it feel better to meet up, when you want to be present and don’t feel forced? Don’t come up with excuses and keep it short. Those who care about you will understand and appreciate it. Boundaries can also boost your confidence and independence.
WE LET GO OF GRUDGES
Apart from embracing happier relationships, forgiveness can ease anxiety and depression and improve self-esteem (2). Recognizing the positive value of letting go of a grudge is the first step. However, it’s a process and you might not forgive someone who hurt you right away. Try journaling about the grudge, reflect on occasions someone forgave you, and practice compassion (2).
WE BELIEVE IN OURSELVES
Have you noticed that other people believe in you more than yourself? It’s time to change that. Ph.D. in Social & Personality Psychology, Tchiki Davis says that lack of confidence in your abilities acts like a self-fulfilling prophecy (1). You fail because you believe you will.
WE KEEP A GRATITUDE LIST
If optimism is what you are lacking to start believing in yourself, a gratitude list becomes a solution. Make it a daily practice with a designated time and write down five things you are thankful for.
WE PRIORITIZE SELF-CARE
Self-care is not egoistic. You take time to take care of your body and mind so that you can focus on other things better. Prioritizing your well-being can help to avoid burnout and manage stress (6).
WE PRACTICE SELF-LOVE
Self-love is about many things, but, first and foremost, accepting yourself. Self-improvement can still be your priority, but you should also appreciate yourself as you are now without comparing yourself to others.
WE SMILE
A 2019 paper in Psychological Bulletin confirms that smiling makes us feel happier (4). They used the data from 138 studies that tested this controversial idea. Of course, you cannot change your life with a smile, but a small mood boost is guaranteed. So try smiling for yourself, even when there is one around.
WE SPEND TIME ALONE
Taking time to be alone is a game-changer. It helps to clear the mind and restore attention. Take a walk on your own or have a morning cup of tea in solitude and see how your mental state improves.
WE DON’T TRY TO BE PERFECT
With “perfect people” on social media, we create unattainable standards for ourselves. The struggle to reach them is draining and never-ending. So make it a habit to cross out “perfection” from your to-do list.
WE EXERCISE FOR OUR HEALTH
The most sustainable motivation for exercising is internal. That’s why happy women don’t go to the gym to look the way society expects them. Instead, we exercise to have a healthy body, so we can do all the other things we love.
WE FOLLOW OUR PASSIONS
Or we try to figure out what it is! Whether it’s a part of your career or just a hobby, finding time to develop your interest is fulfilling.
WE SUPPORT OTHER WOMEN
Research in Harvard Business Review shows that women successful in career also have a close female network around (5). Women supporting women, sharing opportunities, and empowering each other works in business and in other areas of life, too.
SOURCES:
Believe in Yourself: Why It's Important and How to Do It (n.d., berkeleywellbeing.com)
Forgiveness: Letting go of grudges and bitterness (2020, mayoclinic.org)
Just say no (2013, apa.org)
Psychologists find smiling really can make people happier (2019, sciencedaily.com)
Research: Men and Women Need Different Kinds of Networks to Succeed (2019, hbr.org)
