03/25/2025
I am writing this at 11:39 pm on Monday, March 24th as I sit in the bath tub, foreshadowing at what’s to come tomorrow (today) when I post this to my page. Tomorrow (today) is my bell ringing day. Seven months ago I wondered what I might say to encourage someone once my fight is over. At that point I didn’t know how long that would be or even how this would all end. I have learned so much about myself. Some good, some bad. The high point is that I have been terrified of a finger prick my whole entire life just to end up being stuck with every needle made, biopsied 50 leven times with a line of some sort in each arm and both sides of my chest. I came out like a boss and am proud to say that I am no longer scared of needles 🤣 In all seriousness, after seven months, the things that I once thought I might say to someone battling cancer or worse, are completely different. All I can speak on, is the things I have learned and the things I hope to God I never forget from this journey. When I came home from the hospital back in October to await my transplant date, my husband and I were in the car riding down the road just talking and reminiscing about the arrival of our baby as we hadn’t really talked about it. She came the 28th of August and we hadn’t been together as a family since then. In talking we jumped from subject to subject from the day she was born to the diagnosis, etc. At that point I was tired and really dreading leaving home again and going back for the second hardest thing I’d have to do, transplant. While driving, Holden looks at me and says, “Do you ever think that maybe you got sick simply to slow you down? God knew you wouldn’t stop running if He didn’t make you.” I hadn’t thought of it that way up until then but it was true. I worked 50-60 hours every week. We got married in 2021 and I could count on one hand how many times we actually ate dinner together during the week because I worked all the time. I love my job more than anything, and though it’s one of my biggest blessings and accomplishments, it was a problem that I LOVED MY JOB more than anything. I worked and worked to save money to buy all the things and take all the trips but in the end, all you have is money and years gone by. I realize now that I am blessed to still be here on this earth with my family beside me. I know that had I not gotten sick, I would’ve went right back into the motions of my old life where I was ‘living to work’ not ‘working to live’… and I wasn’t really living at all. I would’ve missed out on the most crucial time in my baby girl’s life. We don’t need all the fancy things in life to LIVE. In all actuality, our days are numbered and no one knows when the clock will run out. I genuinely can’t imagine leaving this world and all I’ve left behind is monetary assets because I didn’t spend my time making memories and loving on the people who love me and spreading Jesus. I hate that it took cancer at the age of 27 to make me realize such a thing but I probably wouldn’t have listened before.
Which brings me to another point. I was always raised in church, there every Sunday, got saved when I was young, prayed and knew every lyric to every K-Love song. Some of you who know me outside of Facebook know that I’m a hairdresser and salon owner. Making people feel beautiful and confident is part of the job, my favorite to be exact. I hear stories like mine now, daily. All the struggles of ten different people, daily, laid down in my chair during a hair appointment. I will pray with you and hug you and be the listening ear that you need. But, I never really realized how much that REALLY affects people until I was the one needing real encouragement. The people who poured into me daily sending me scripture, actively praying over me in the night and texting me to let me know. People not wanting a thing in return, half of them not even knowing me personally, just wanting to show me Jesus when I needed it. I sat back and thought about it… I wonder have I ever purposely woken up in the night to pray over my client going through the trenches. Boy, I will now! I will also add that if you don’t know Jesus, please reach out to me and I will introduce you. We can live the most generous life being kind and helping others, having all the accomplishments and success and a beautiful family to celebrate it all with…. But if you don’t know Jesus then none of it matters. I am so thankful to have so many friends and Facebook friends who have prayed over my family during this time. Who you surround yourself with MATTERS. Those who are cheering for you and with you MATTER. Those who call and check in just to make sure you’re okay, matter. I always thought I had a small circle but my circle is far larger than I thought as I have met some amazing people throughout this process. So many amazing people from home and all over being so generous to host benefit dinners, bake sales, t shirt and bracelet benefits, the swing raffle, the meal-train for my family at home, cards, gift baskets or ‘Happies’ as we called them in the hospital, Venmo donations, and all the donations hand delivered to various members of my family to be given to us. Nothing has gone unnoticed. I have kept a log of every single thing given and sent to us and by whom. I have a bad memory now and I have a fear of forgetting. I never want to forget the things that have been done for us. It is a humbling experience to witness and will literally change your life. My last comments… Life is short. Give and it will all come back to you tenfold. Check in on your people. If you say you’re going to pray for someone, make a note and pray (sometimes their life depends on it). Have your blood work done YEARLY if not every 6 months and go to those check ups you don’t want to go to. Give blood when you can, you could be saving someone’s life. To my donor who I hope will someday know me and will see this, thank you will never be enough. I am still able to be a wife, mama, daughter and sister because of you giving ME life. I will never take it for granted. To my doctors and nurses, I am a better person because of knowing each of you. My friends for life. My precious Dr. Pantin, I could squeeze you. He doctors with purpose and I am so thankful to be his for the long haul and the strings he pulled for me to be with my baby this entire time. There is no place like Sarah Cannon.
For those who are still fighting this disease, keep on keeping on. Cancer is anything but easy, but you are anything but weak. For those of you who have cheered me on to the finish line, I am so grateful and thankful. I love you all! My life has been changed because of my diagnosis. I hate cancer but I am thankful for a new life and a new perspective. I am forever changed 🧡
*I will most definitely post the bell ringing… when it has been rung 🤣
