03/07/2026
Numbing the Pain: What I’ve Learned About Alcohol, Casual S*x, and Drugs as Coping Mechanisms - By Stop The Threat - Stop The Stigma Founder and Wisconsin Police Captain Adam Meyers, CPS
For many years after my critical incident (on-duty fatal shooting), both personally and professionally, I’ve experienced how easy it was for me to reach for something, anything, that will make emotional pain stop, even if only for a little while. When stress, trauma, anxiety, depression, or burnout took hold, my instinct was simple: NUMB IT.
For many people, especially those working in high-stress professions or carrying unresolved emotional wounds, alcohol, drugs, or impulsive s*xual behavior can feel like quick relief. They’re accessible. They’re normalized in many social circles. And for a short time, they actually do dull the discomfort.
But what I’ve come to understand is that temporary relief is not the same thing as healing.
While these behaviors might provide a short escape, they often deepen the very problems I was trying to avoid. They can quietly worsen mental health, damage physical health, and create consequences that last far longer than the brief comfort they provide.
I’ve experienced first hand, how powerful the illusion of relief can be. Alcohol, drugs, and risky s*xual behavior all activate the brain’s reward system. They trigger dopamine release, the neurotransmitter responsible for feelings of pleasure and reward.
When someone is overwhelmed by stress or trauma, that chemical shift can feel dramatic.
For a little while: The anxiety quiets. The intrusive thoughts pause. The loneliness softens. The emotional pain fades.
But eventually the effects wore off. When they did, the original problem was still there and often it was worse. Guilt, shame, exhaustion, or new consequences piled on top of the original stress.
What started as a way to cope can slowly turn into something we begin to depend on just to get through the day.
Alcohol is probably the most socially accepted coping mechanism out there. It’s marketed as relaxation, celebration, and stress relief. But biologically, alcohol is a central nervous system depressant.
Over time, I've experienced how it quietly worsened my mental health.
It can increase symptoms of depression and anxiety. It disrupts sleep quality, even if it helps someone fall asleep. It impairs emotional regulation. It increases irritability and impulsivity and it raises su***de risk.
Alcohol may lower inhibitions in the moment, but repeated use slowly reduces the brain’s natural ability to regulate mood. The more someone relies on alcohol to cope, the more their brain begins to depend on it to feel balanced.
Eventually, many people find that their baseline mood is actually worse than before the drinking started.
Physically, the damage can be just as serious. Lliver disease, high blood pressure, a weakened immune system, weight gain, metabolic problems, and increased cancer risk.
What begins as taking the edge off can quietly become a cycle of worsening health and chemical imbalance.
Mood-altering drugs, whether prescription medications used improperly or illicit substances, can create dramatic shifts in brain chemistry.
Some drugs increase energy and confidence. Others numb emotional pain. Some slow racing thoughts.
But those effects come with a neurological cost.
Over time, substance use can increase anxiety, paranoia, and mood instability. It can impair thinking and decision-making. Some substances can even increase the risk of psychosis.
Repeated drug use also rewires the brain’s reward system. Eventually, normal sources of happiness like relationships, accomplishments, and hobbies stop feeling rewarding. The brain starts demanding stronger stimulation just to feel normal.
Physically, the consequences can include cardiovascular strain, respiratory problems, neurological damage, hormonal disruption, and overdose risk.
Addiction doesn’t happen because someone is weak. It happens because substances literally change the way the brain processes stress and reward.
S*x itself is not unhealthy. In healthy contexts, it can build connection, intimacy, and mutual fulfillment.
But I’ve also experienced how s*x can be used as a coping strategy, especially when someone is trying to escape loneliness, trauma, rejection, or low self-worth.
When s*x becomes a way to numb emotional pain, it often leaves emotional fallout behind.
People may feel emptier after the encounter.
They may experience attachment confusion.
Shame or regret can creep in. Self-esteem can take a hit. Existing relationships can become complicated.
For people carrying trauma or abandonment wounds, casual s*x can temporarily simulate closeness without requiring vulnerability. But physical intimacy without emotional connection often intensifies feelings of isolation once the moment passes.
Our brains release oxytocin, the bonding hormone, during s*xual activity. When that bonding chemistry is triggered without emotional safety or trust, it can create real emotional conflict internally.
What alcohol, drugs, and impulsive s*xual behavior all have in common is avoidance.
They distract us from painful thoughts. They delay emotional processing. They mask deeper issues. They create temporary control during chaotic emotional moments.
But avoidance never actually resolves trauma, grief, burnout, or depression. It just postpones the work that eventually has to happen.
Over time, these coping strategies can create new problems. Shame, broken relationships, professional consequences, financial strain, declining physical health, and worsening mental health.
The very thing someone uses to cope eventually becomes another source of stress.
One thing I’ve learned is that people rarely turn to these behaviors randomly. There is usually something underneath driving them.
Chronic stress.
Repeated trauma exposure.
Loneliness.
Emotional suppression.
A lack of healthy support systems.
Work cultures where vulnerability feels unsafe.
When people feel like they can’t talk about their pain, they often try to numb it.
This isn’t about moral failure. It’s about unmet emotional nneds. Healthy coping usually doesn’t offer instant numbness, but it does offer something far more valuable: Stability.
Things like therapy, peer support groups, exercise, stress-reduction practices, journaling, faith or spiritual practices, honest conversations with trusted people, and simply taking care of sleep and nutrition can make a real difference.
These strategies don’t numb pain. They help process it.
They improve brain chemistry naturally.
They strengthen emotional regulation.
They protect physical health.
They build stronger relationships.
They reduce stress hormones over time.
Healing may feel slower than numbing, but it actually lasts.
I understand why alcohol, drugs, and casual s*x can feel like solutions when emotional pain becomes overwhelming. For years they seemed to work for me.
But they’re not treatment. They’re anesthetics. They silence the signal without addressing the cause.
Real recovery requires facing discomfort rather than running from it. It requires honesty, vulnerability, and support. That path may feel harder in the beginning, but it protects both mental and physical health over the long run.
One thing I’ve come to believe strongly is this: Pain that is avoided tends to last longer. Pain that is processed can eventually be transformed. And if someone is relying on these behaviors to cope, asking for help isn’t weakness, it’s one of the strongest decisions they can make.
www.stopthethreatstopthestigma.org
Photo (Not AI) of Captain Adam A. Meyers, CPS
