06/04/2023
Every single word we utter at funerals holds immense significance and should be echoed in the halls of birthday parties. It's disheartening to think that we often leave so much unspoken in our everyday lives, failing to express the depths of our love for those closest to us. We must strive to communicate better, ensuring that our loved ones not only feel our love but also understand why they are cherished so deeply. This simple truth resonates within me and is impossible to refute.
As a mortician, I find myself taking exception to the notion that these heartfelt expressions should be reserved exclusively for birthday celebrations. Recently, I came across a captivating meme on Instagram that encapsulated this idea. I couldn't resist leaving a comment for the poster, seeking to shed some light on the matter. "Let's be unequivocal about something," I remarked. "There will always be words left unsaid, no matter how many 'I love you's' we exchange throughout a lifetime. Funerals provide us with an opportunity, a sacred space, to finally say what we wished we had expressed during jovial birthday gatherings or simply to utter those words one last time. Let's put an end to using funerals as a source of shame, and instead, let people have their funerals today to say it... one last time." I must admit, I find this comment quite enchanting and will likely share it elsewhere to showcase its profound insight.
Funerals play an indispensable role in our society. They serve as a time for deep reflection, not only on the life that has slipped through our fingers but also on the inherent value of our own lives. Drawing from my Jewish background, I am intimately acquainted with the practice of shiva. Shiva is often seen as a prescribed period of mourning, a societal obligation. Yet, shiva is upheld because it grants us the necessary time to recognize the profound change that occurs when we lose someone we hold dear. The magnitude of that change is so overwhelming that it extinguishes the world we once knew—the world they shared with us—leaving us to grapple with a void that cannot be easily filled. In order to adapt to this newfound reality, we must hit the pause button. We need to halt our hurried existence and allow our minds, bodies, and souls to acclimate to what has transpired. This pause is not about accepting or dealing with the loss just yet; it is simply about taking the time to stop.
During this suspended interlude, our minds become an overflowing reservoir of all the things we yearned to do and say to the one we have bid farewell. However, it is not the absence of our unspoken words that robs us of peace; it is the irrevocable absence of their response that inflicts the deepest wounds upon our hearts. No matter how many times we fervently declare "I love you," once we are no longer able to receive their tender reply, we find ourselves sentenced to an eternity of whispering those words into the void. It is the stark absence of their presence that forever haunts us, a void that can never be filled. So, by all means, let us embrace the practice of showering our loved ones with heartfelt "Happy Birthdays" and abundant "I love yous," but let us not forsake the importance of funerals in the process. Funerals are not only a celebration of life and a commemoration of the dearly departed, but they also serve as a poignant pause—a moment of collective stillness and introspection.
In conclusion, I, as The Mortician, implore you to seize every opportunity to express your love, appreciation, and admiration to those who hold a special place in your heart. Let
not a single chance slip by to shower them with words of endearment and acts of kindness. However, let us also recognize and honor the crucial role that funerals play in our lives. They offer solace, closure, and a space for our collective grief to be shared. Funerals provide us with the time and platform to say what we yearn to express, to bid farewell with love and gratitude, and to find solace in the midst of our shared sorrow.
~ The Mortician
