06/23/2020
Psst! Did you know that the idea of babies being able to self soothe is a total myth?
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Let's break it down because this myth is what sells non responsive sleep training. Parents are told they're doing their babies a favour and teaching them a lesson, a life skill if they just leave their babies to cry alone to sleep...because it's teaching them to self soothe. Only it's not true!
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Why? Because self soothing refers to the ability to regulate one’s own emotions; a developmental milestone that can’t be rushed. The last part of the brain to mature is the neocortex; it is the rational or analytical part of our brain that enables us to assess a situation and mediate our response.
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In infants and young children, the neocortex is extremely undeveloped, quite literally making it a physical impossibility to rationalize and deal with strong emotions and unmet needs.
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This is why young children rely on us, their parents, to externally regulate their emotions for them until they are capable of doing it for themselves - we need to lend them our prefrontal cortex.
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The same goes for time outs - putting a child in a room alone or on a naughty step doesn't teach emotional regulation nor is it healthy for moral development.
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These approaches teach children that they're on their own. That nobody is coming. That we value external behaviour and that internal needs aren't important.
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Of course, no parent intentionally means to do that - which is why all parents need judgment-free support and collectively we can call out these practices for what they are...and do better, for our kids and ourselves. Parenting consciously through connection gives our kids what they need and helps us grow and evolve alongside them. It makes parenting easier with time and way more fun.
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So lean into this. Don't worry what anyone else says. The early years are all about nurturing and making space for big emotions. It’s beautifully messy work.
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Quote text by 💕
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🌎Peaceful parenting resources: http://t.co/T8goym3P6Z
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www.LRKnost.com
Fighting a rare, incurable cancer, but I'm still here!💞 L.R.