ArtTunes

08/17/2025

A good friend of mine told me of their hope. They said when I died, they hoped they would take my brain out so that it could be figured out. Well, wouldn’t you know it, but I just let loose with a tsunami sneeze, and it just popped out! A lot bigger than I thought it would be. Do I send it to them, or do they come and get it?

08/15/2025

The scenic driveway at Arttunes holds quite a splendor of flora, however we must admit to some of our flowered friends being just a bit rogue. Some of the sunflowers have grown a distance from their intended destination. They are always hanging their heads and stand too near the passage way. I will reveal that sometimes when I pull the car in I experience a thud from where one or two of them have smacked me. So, ArtTunes, a place of unquestionable delight burdened with sullen sunflowers that punch cars. I’ll talk to their Mothers, and I have told them to get jobs, but if anyone catches them doing the Mary Jane, let me know and I‘lol contact the authorities.

08/11/2025

Before the days of cattle drives, earthworms were the chosen commodity. I hate to admit it, but I was once a worm rustler. It was easier to do because of the difficulties involved in branding a worm.
One day, I caused a stampede. I meant to write the experience down, but I had no notebook and it happened 180 years ago, so memories are fuzzy. That can’t happen now thanks to the new notebooks offered by ArtTunes. They are just the thing for your thing. (I mean your next activity, not your thing, because, paper cuts and stuff).

08/06/2025

Apologies, ArtTunes will be closed Aug 7.

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07/27/2025

Looking for the good, old fashioned, and quaint style of a Hallmark card? Keep lookin’ fellow meat puppet. Arttunes does have sarcastic and some of the funniest cards on the planet. A recent poll even suggested that we have not only the best cards on the planet, but on the whole west side of the solar system. Stop by, and you too will see why ArtTunes is made from trillions of molecules. And dna, oh do we have dna.

07/15/2025

Boogie with a woogie

07/13/2025

Arttunes has new cards. I got a deal on them because they were sideways.

07/06/2025

I hope I added the right reel. One had bloopers and an f bomb

06/15/2025

06/09/2025

Just finished a fairy house and wouldn’t you know, fairies moved in already! It’s the toothy ones who use baby teeth to make fairy dust. They’re loving and sweet, but if you ever make them a house, double the plumbing because they already clogged up the bathroom.

06/01/2025

Tomorrow is June 2, and in honor of it, ArtTunes is offering a free gift to anyone who turns 62 on 6.2. It’s like a golden birthdaY and I have half a bag of circus peanuts. So, to those who qualify, stop out and get a free piece of styrofoam candy that tastes like a muskmelon. On second thought,I threw them out. I will offer, while supplies last, a free Andes candies tray. Or a plate. You can have a plate. Get over here.