02/14/2024
Children believe when bad things happen to them, it is their fault. That is because of their innocence, a lack of understanding that someone would willingly harm them. Children who don't hear, "I'm sorry, that should have never happened to you" become adults who feel unworthy when good things happen to them.
Everything you THINK is wrong with you is tied to an event where a younger version of you is "stuck" and hurting. That younger you is deserving of your return and rescue. That reunion will change your current pain.
There is actually a lot of irony in the toxic family demanding the scapegoat grow, adapt, get better. Then, the scapegoat does and ends up walking away because they know there is more for them than a family that blamed them for not adapting well to their gross demands.
To tell a survivor they just need to "let it go" is suggesting their survival is an act of defiance to continue feeling the impacts of what hurt them. I cannot stress enough what a person who lives with a mind and body processing trauma would give to be able to just let it go. If only.
