Access Grace

Access Grace Access Grace is a Biblically Oriented Professional & Pastoral Counseling Ministry The practice is now closed.

Access Grace is a Biblical, Professional Counseling group with offices formerly in Cu***ng & Dahlonega, Georgia.

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“Zoe” Life in a “Bios” World: Jack Miller and the Pivotal Debates of Middle Westminster
By grahamline
November 27, 2024

The relationship between zoe life (eternal, spiritual life), bios life (temporal, physical life), and psyche (soul or self) provides a powerful framework for understanding the gospel’s impact on identity, salvation, and renewal.

These concepts illuminate not only the grand narrative of Scripture but also the pastoral crises and cultural conflicts that often characterize the modern church. This essay will explore these themes beginning with Adam and the original creation extending to Christ and the new creation.

Alongside this, we will situate these reflections in the historical context of Westminster Theological Seminary during the mid-20th century, examining the contributions and controversies surrounding Jack Miller, Jay Adams, and Norman Shepherd.

We will conclude with pastoral reflections on the power of the gospel, the responsibility of Christian leaders, and the hope for renewal through the transformative work of the Spirit.

1. Definitions: Zoe, Bios, and Psyche

Zoe: Eternal Life

In Scripture, zoe refers to life as it originates from God and is imparted through Christ. It signifies eternal life—the life of communion with God that transcends physical existence and is ultimately transformative. Jesus identifies zoe as central to His mission: “I came that they may have life [zoe] and have it abundantly” (John 10:10). Zoe is:

• Relational: Eternal life is bound up with knowing God and Jesus Christ (John 17:3).

• Redemptive: Zoe life is a gift of grace, bringing salvation and restoration to fallen humanity (Ephesians 2:4-5).

• Transformative: It renews the inner person and animates the believer’s life in the Spirit (Romans 8:10-11).

Bios: Physical Life

Bios encompasses physical and temporal life—our bodily existence and engagement in the material world. While bios is good as part of God’s creation (Genesis 1:31), it is also fragile and finite due to sin. Paul contrasts bios with zoe when emphasizing the perishable nature of our current bodies and the imperishable reality of resurrection life (1 Corinthians 15:42-44).

Psyche: Soul or Self

Psyche refers to the human soul or self, encompassing identity, will, and inner life. It is the seat of personal identity and consciousness, integrally tied to one’s relationship with God:

• Relational Orientation: The psyche is either aligned with God (renewed in Christ) or alienated (dead in sin).

• Dependent on Zoe Life: While psyche can animate bios life, it only finds its true purpose and fulfillment through zoe life in union with God (Matthew 16:26).

2. Biblical Theology: From Adam to New Creation

A. Creation: The Breath of Life

Genesis 2:7 reveals the twofold creation of humanity: God forms Adam from the dust (bios) and breathes into him the “breath of life” (zoe). This act distinguishes Adam as a living being (nephesh, akin to psyche), created in the image of God (Genesis 1:27). Adam’s identity and purpose are defined by his covenantal relationship with God, who is the source of zoe life.

B. The Fall: Death and Alienation

When Adam disobeys God, he dies spiritually, losing zoe life and fracturing his psyche. While bios life persists temporarily, it is marked by decay and eventual death (Genesis 3:19). This disintegration of zoe, bios, and psyche leaves humanity alienated from God, disoriented in self, and subject to judgment.

C. The Gospel Promise: Life Restored in Christ

God’s covenant of grace provides the solution to humanity’s fractured state:

• Christ as the Second Adam: Jesus fulfills the covenant of works by perfectly obeying God’s law and restoring zoe life to those who are united with Him through faith (Romans 5:18-21).

• The Gift of Zoe Life: Through His resurrection, Christ imparts eternal life to believers, renewing their psyche and ultimately transforming their bios (Romans 8:11).

D. The New Creation: Zoe Life Fully Realized

In the new creation, the union of zoe, psyche, and bios life is perfected. Believers receive glorified bodies (bios) and dwell eternally with God in full communion (zoe), free from sin and death (Revelation 21:1-4). This consummation fulfills the redemptive arc begun in the garden and secured through Christ.

3. Historical Context: Westminster Seminary’s Mid-20th Century Legacy

The theological debates at Westminster Seminary in the mid-20th century revealed significant differences in how the faculty approached justification, sanctification, and the Christian life.

Jay Adams, Norman Shepherd, and Jack Miller sought to address the struggles of the psyche and bios life, but their emphases on counseling, law, and covenantal obedience often led Adams and Shepherd to rely on frameworks that—unintentionally—returned believers to the legal promise.

In contrast, Jack Miller kept the believer connected to zoe life in the Spirit, emphasizing the ongoing necessity of justification by faith alone as the wellspring of transformation for the psyche and bios life.

A. Jay Adams: Counseling and the Psyche in the Third Use of the Law

Jay Adams’ development of nouthetic counseling marked a significant contribution to practical theology, bringing Scripture to bear on the issues of sin and sanctification. Adams emphasized the importance of biblical correction to transform behavior (bios life) and address the conscience (psyche). However, his framework often left the believer’s psyche and bios life under the weight of moral effort.

1. Leaving Justification (and Repentance) in the Past:

• Adams affirmed justification by faith alone but treated it primarily as a past event. For Adams, sanctification became the focus, and the means of growth often shifted to biblical counseling that emphasized obedience. While Adams viewed this as operating under grace, his method frequently relied on the third use of the law to confront sin and guide behavior.

2. Counseling the Psyche Through Bios Life:

• Adams’ approach aimed to bring change in bios life—observable actions and behaviors—by addressing the psyche through direct confrontation with Scripture. However, by leaving justification behind, Adams often unintentionally placed the psyche back under the legal promise, where transformation depended on external correction rather than the ongoing work of the Spirit through the zoe life of the gospel.

3. Jack Miller’s Critique of the Limits of Counseling:

• Jack Miller, while valuing counseling, recognized its limitations. In Repentance and Twentieth Century Man, Jack explained that counseling focused on behavior without the ongoing application of the gospel could only reach so far. True transformation required zoe life—the Spirit’s work through the gospel to free the conscience and empower faith-filled obedience.

B. Norman Shepherd: Covenant Theology and the Psyche

Norman Shepherd’s theology, rooted in a one-covenant framework, aimed to integrate faith and obedience in a way that emphasized covenantal faithfulness as a condition for maintaining and finalizing justification. Shepherd affirmed justification by faith alone at the start, but his teaching added subsequent requirements for obedience that tied justification to bios life and burdened the psyche.

1. Three Stages of Justification:

• Shepherd distinguished between initial justification (by faith alone), ongoing justification (maintained by covenantal obedience), and final justification (dependent on faithfulness). While Shepherd believed he was operating within the realm of grace, his theology effectively moved believers out of the gospel promise and returned them to the legal promise for their ongoing relationship with God.

2. Pressing Covenant Obedience on the Psyche and Bios Life:

• By emphasizing covenantal faithfulness, Shepherd focused on visible obedience (bios life) as necessary for justification. This framework weighed heavily on the psyche, leaving believers striving to maintain their standing before God through works rather than resting in the ongoing power of the Spirit.

3. Jack Miller’s Response to Shepherd:

• Jack rejected Shepherd’s teaching that works are necessary to remain in the state of justification or works are necessary for final justification. Jack understood that justification by works undermined the believer’s confidence in the gospel promise, leaving the psyche unsettled and bios life focused on performance. For Jack, the zoe life of the Spirit sustained believers in both justification and sanctification, enabling joyful obedience rooted in assurance.

C. A Shared Misstep: Aiming at Psyche and Bios Life Without Zoe Life

Despite their different starting points—Adams in counseling and Shepherd in covenant theology—both men shared a common emphasis on addressing the psyche and bios life in ways that minimized the ongoing necessity of zoe life:

1. Leaving the Gospel Behind:

• Both Adams and Shepherd affirmed justification by faith alone at the start but shifted their focus to sanctification or obedience without adequately connecting it to the ongoing power of the gospel. This left the psyche striving under frameworks that, unintentionally, operated under the legal promise.

2. External vs. Internal Transformation:

• Adams emphasized correcting bios life behaviors through counseling, while Shepherd emphasized covenantal obedience as necessary for the state of and final justification. In both cases, the transformation of the psyche and bios life became more about visible performance than the inward renewal of the Spirit through zoe life.

D. Jack Miller: Zoe Life for the Psyche and Bios

Jack Miller’s gospel-centered theology offered a transformative alternative to both Adams and Shepherd. Jack emphasized the ongoing necessity of justification by faith alone as the believer’s connection to the zoe life of the Spirit, which transformed both the psyche and bios life:

1. Justification and Zoe Life:

• Jack maintained that justification was not merely a past event but the ongoing foundation of the Christian life. Through union with Christ, believers received the Spirit’s zoe life, which freed the conscience (psyche) to rest in the gospel promise and love God’s law in joyful obedience.

2. Transforming the Psyche Through Grace:

• Jack confronted sin boldly, but always in the context of the gospel. His emphasis on preaching the gospel to oneself ensured that the psyche remained anchored in Christ’s finished work, freeing believers from fear and enabling faith-filled repentance.

3. Empowering Bios Life Through the Spirit:

• Jack’s focus on zoe life naturally renewed bios life, as external obedience flowed from inward transformation. By keeping the gospel central, Jack avoided the pitfalls of counseling or covenantal frameworks that relied too heavily on bios-level performance.

4. Sharpened by Westminster Debates:

• Jack’s theology was refined through his engagement with both Adams and Shepherd. These debates sharpened his focus on the faith-building power of the gospel and its ability to transform the psyche and bios life through the Spirit’s ongoing work.

Conclusion

Jay Adams and Norman Shepherd sought to provide biblical correctives, addressing sin and obedience through counseling and covenant theology. However, both left justification by faith alone behind after initial justification, unintentionally placing the psyche and bios life back under the legal promise. Jack Miller’s theology offered a liberating alternative, rooted in the ongoing necessity of zoe life through the gospel promise. His emphasis on the Spirit’s transforming power provides a model for addressing the psyche and bios life with assurance, joy, and freedom in Christ.

4. Paul’s Vision of Life: Romans 7–10

A. Romans 7: The Fractured Psyche

Romans 7:7-25 vividly captures the turmoil of a psyche (self) striving to obey God’s law but enslaved to sin. Paul portrays the inner conflict of a person caught between the desire to do good and the inability to carry it out:

• The Divided Self: “I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing” (Romans 7:19). This reflects the psyche’s alienation from God and the inability of bios life to overcome sin’s power apart from zoe life.

• Despair and the Cry for Deliverance: Paul concludes, “Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?” (Romans 7:24). The phrase “body of death” underscores the futility of bios life disconnected from God’s zoe life. Paul’s cry anticipates the solution found in Christ and the Spirit.

B. Romans 8 to 9: Life in the Spirit and Sovereign Grace

Romans 8 provides the answer to Romans 7 by introducing the work of the Spirit, who restores zoe life and transforms both psyche and bios. Romans 9 builds on this by connecting God’s sovereign grace to His covenantal promises.

1. No Condemnation in Christ: Romans 8 begins with a triumphant declaration: “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1). Through justification by faith alone, believers are reconciled to God and set free from the law of sin and death.

2. The Spirit’s Transformative Power: Sanctification is driven by the Spirit, who enables believers to put sin to death and live according to zoe life (Romans 8:13). This new life reshapes both the psyche’s orientation and bios life, as believers walk in union with Christ.

3. Hope and Sovereign Grace: Romans 8 closes with the assurance of future glory, when the redemption of bios life in resurrection will fully manifest the Spirit’s work. Romans 9 underscores that this salvation depends on God’s mercy, not human effort: “It depends not on human will or exertion, but on God, who has mercy” (Romans 9:16). This covenantal clarity ensures that righteousness comes through faith in God’s promise, not through works.

C. Romans 10: The Faith-Building Power of the Gospel

Romans 10 emphasizes the transformative power of gospel proclamation in creating and sustaining faith:

1. Faith Comes by Hearing: “Faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ” (Romans 10:17). The proclaimed gospel is the Spirit’s instrument for imparting zoe life, renewing the psyche, and sanctifying bios life.

2. Preaching the Gospel to Yourself: Jack Miller emphasized that believers must regularly hear and declare the gospel, both personally and communally. For Miller, Romans 10 teaches that the gospel is not just a message for conversion but the ongoing source of faith and spiritual growth.

3. The Spirit’s Work Through the Word: Romans 10 highlights how the Spirit uses the proclaimed Word to convict, transform, and sustain believers. This proclamation aligns the psyche with God’s promises, enabling Christians to live out the fullness of zoe life in Christ.

5. Toward Broader Renewal

A. Jack Miller and Renewal Through Gospel Power

Jack Miller’s ministry exemplifies how recovering the greatness of the gospel can renew both individuals and churches. His emphasis on justification by faith alone and sanctification by faith in partnership with the Spirit safeguarded the distinction between law and gospel. Miller saw the gospel as the source of zoe life, which transforms the psyche and sanctifies the believer’s life in the Spirit.

B. Jay Adams and the Third Use of the Law

While Jay Adams made valuable contributions to biblical counseling, his emphasis on the law’s third use as a guide for sanctification sometimes risked blurring the distinction between law and gospel. Sanctification, while involving obedience, is fundamentally driven by faith and the Spirit’s work, not legalistic striving.

C. Norman Shepherd and the One-Covenant Framework

Shepherd’s theology conflated the covenant of works and the covenant of grace, collapsing the distinction between law and gospel. His one-covenant framework led to the addition of works to justification, resulting in confusion about the nature of God’s promises. While Shepherd sought to emphasize covenantal obedience, his approach undermined the gospel’s free promise of zoe life through faith alone.

• Clarity from Jack Miller: Miller rejected Shepherd’s expansion of a Reformation understanding of justification by faith alone to three justifications, affirming that while sanctification involves cooperation with the Spirit, justification is always by faith alone. Miller’s emphasis on the faith-building character of the gospel guarded against legalism and maintained the distinction between justification and sanctification.

6. Conclusion: The Gospel and Renewal in Zoe Life

The interplay of zoe, bios, and psyche provides a powerful framework for understanding the transformative power of the gospel. Romans 7 captures the plight of the fractured psyche under the law, while Romans 8-10 reveals the Spirit’s role in bringing zoe life, reconciling psyche and bios, and restoring identity in Christ. This gospel-centered vision is essential for addressing the cultural and ecclesial crises of identity that plague the church today.

A. The Gospel Call to Evangelism as the Foundation of Discipleship

Christian leaders bear the responsibility of proclaiming the greatness of the gospel and modeling the fullness of zoe life. Like Jack Miller, we must:

1. Preach and keep on preaching the Gospel Boldly: Emphasize the faith-building power of the gospel, trusting the Spirit to transform lives through the declared Word.

2. Guard Against Legalism: Maintain the distinction between justification and sanctification, ensuring that the gospel remains central in both.

3. Model Gospel Renewal: Lead by example, showing how union with Christ transforms every aspect of life.

4. Pray, pray individually and corporately, and keep on praying.

B. Toward Broader Renewal

The lessons from Westminster’s second generation of leaders remind us of the importance of theological clarity and spiritual vitality:

• Jay Adams’s Contributions: Highlighting the authority of Scripture in counseling.

• Norman Shepherd’s Cautionary Example: Avoiding theological frameworks that blur the legal promise and the gospel promise.

• Jack Miller’s Legacy: Centering ministry on the greatness of the gospel and the Spirit’s work.

C. A Vision for Renewal

The church’s low view of the gospel and over-reliance on bios-level psychologically based solutions leave many Christians as sheep without a shepherd. By recovering a high view of the gospel and the fullness of zoe life, we can address the root issues of identity and renewal. Preaching the gospel to oneself and others is not a mantra but a Spirit-empowered practice that sustains faith and transforms lives.

The call is to proclaim Christ as the source of zoe life, pointing people to the greatness of the gospel, where the fractured psyche is healed, bios life is transformed, and the glory of God’s omnipotent grace is revealed in His people.

In doing so, we reflect the fullness of the Good Shepherd who came to give life abundantly—for the joy of His people and the glory of His name.

Final Reflections: Toward Zoe Life in Christ

Jesus’ lament over the crowds—“like sheep without a shepherd”—captures the urgency of our task as leaders today. Many sit in churches with bad consciences, overwhelmed by bios-level struggles and unfulfilled psyches, because they lack a vision of zoe life in Christ. They are offered moralism, therapeutic deism, or external behavior management when they need the transformative power of the gospel.

The call for Christian leaders is to recover and proclaim the greatness of the gospel, leading ourselves and others into the fullness of life in Christ. This involves not only addressing surface-level conflicts but also exposing these conflicts to the life-giving power of the gospel message to heal the deeper fractures of the psyche and soul through the Spirit’s work.

The sadness you feel over the church’s condition is not without hope. It reflects Christ’s own compassion and call to action. Like Jack Miller, we must first preach the gospel to ourselves (one another as the church), allowing the gospel’s power to renew our own own hearts and lives and ministries, so we can declare the glory of that same gospel message to others with clarity and conviction and the fulness of life in Christ.

In doing so, we proclaim not just solutions to life’s struggles but the ultimate gift of zoe life—eternal communion with God through Jesus Christ, for the glory of the Giver of grace and the joy of His people.

10/04/2024

As a teenager, our son “came out” as a “homosexual agnostic” on Facebook. Prior to this, there had been months of rumblings and arguments in our home about what Scripture actually teaches about homosexuality, but on that day, reading his statement in black and white, it felt like a blow to my chest. Weak-kneed, I sat down abruptly.

𝘕𝘰! 𝘕𝘰! 𝘕𝘰! 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘢𝘯’𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨! 𝘊𝘢𝘯 𝘪𝘵? 𝘖𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘰𝘯?

I could vividly picture his 7-year-old self—his big brown eyes turned up to me, while his upper lip did that pointy thing it did when he was trying to articulate something important to him. “Mommy, I want to be a missionary pilot when I grow up. I can help bring Bibles and food to places trains can’t go." I had drawn him close in a hug then, my heart brimming with joy. And pride.

𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨? 𝘞𝘢𝘴 𝘪𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘤𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴? 𝘞𝘢𝘴 𝘮𝘺 𝘩𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘴𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘣𝘭𝘦𝘮? 𝘞𝘢𝘴 𝘐 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘵?

Our son’s coming out had only been the beginning of a slippery slope: he soon became a self-proclaimed “bisexual atheist,” then progressed to a “gender-fluid atheist,” all the while blaming us for brainwashing him as a kid and “force-feeding him a Book that called him an abomination.”

Now our son is an adult, and his Facebook intro reads—in part—“Queer. Non-binary.”

Daily, grief gnaws at my soul. Sometimes it threatens to become all-consuming and I'm tempted to let the darkness engulf me. But God, through a recent sermon, graciously brought to mind these precious words: “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted” (Matt. 5:4).

𝐌𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠
The pain I feel over the spiritual loss of my son is real. It feels like a death that keeps on dying, and the grief comes in waves. How do I mourn well? In the context of this passage in Matthew, it's not just those who mourn but also the poor in spirit (v. 3) and the meek (v. 5) who are called blessed.

So I'm to recognize my spiritual poverty and with a humble heart bring my grief to the Lord. I recognize I wasn't a perfect mother—far from it. Many a time I disciplined in anger, got puffed up with pride (even though I knew that I owed every aspect of my life to God's grace), or thought I was in control and acted that way. I'm not saying my sin caused my son’s sin. But my sin is as real as his. So I mourn it and ask my gracious Father to forgive me. 𝘓𝘰𝘳𝘥, 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘤𝘺! 𝘐 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶.

When I look at the wretchedness that's in my sinful flesh with mournful repentance, I'm able to look at the sin in my son’s life and mourn it for what it is—not just an end to all our fond hopes and dreams for him but an act of rebellion against God. If I, his earthly parent, am torn apart by his sin, how much more must it hurt the One who knit him in my womb and made him so fearfully and wonderfully (Ps. 139:14)? The One who isn't only Creator and Sustainer but also Holy Holy Holy (Isa. 6:3)! 𝘓𝘰𝘳𝘥, 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘤𝘺! 𝘏𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶.

𝐁𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝
The urge to know why is strong. Our son reports playing as a child with a boy younger than him who “sexually awakened” him with some games he introduced. I’m tempted to blame myself for allowing that playdate. I’m tempted to blame whoever set that child up to act the way he did.

But I don’t have to blame myself or others. God’s gift of this poverty of spirit compels me to acknowledge God as God. I can then quit trying to figure out why this happened—and why my son made the choices he has. I can quit blaming others or myself in a futile attempt to control the situation—after all, I'm not in control. God is. What a blessed relief.

The word translated as "blessed" in the Beatitudes can also be translated as “fortunate” or “happy.” John Piper paraphrases this passage this way:
Oh, how fortunate you are to be chosen by God, to have your eyes opened, to be drawn to the Savior, to be poor and mourning and meek and hungry and merciful and pure and peaceable! Rejoice! Rejoice and give thanks, my beloved disciples, that you are this kind of person, for it is not your own doing! It is the reign of God in your life.

What a joy to know that the God who chose me and called me to himself also reigns over every aspect of my life. How fortunate to be able to come to him and find rest in his sovereignty, goodness, and wisdom; to acknowledge it is well with my soul because he's at work in my life (even through the hard parts, even 𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 through the hard parts) for my good and for his glory—ultimately, to make me more like his Son.

𝘓𝘰𝘳𝘥, 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘭𝘦𝘥𝘨𝘦, 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘵, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘪𝘨𝘯 𝘓𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘺 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴.

𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭
My heart still hurts when I see our son wallowing in his sin. He's miserable, on multiple medications, and often suicidal. We keep praying for him to be rescued by God. But that hasn’t happened—yet. Would I be comforted if and when it does?

I have to ask myself, Why do I ask God to save my son? Am I praying that the Lord would draw him to himself so 𝘐 can be comforted? Surely, that comfort is just a side effect—joyful though it would be. Or do I plead with God so my son can be comforted? Certainly, that would be a blessing. But is that all there is to it—my son’s happiness? Or do I pray for his salvation so God’s name would be glorified?

Paul reminds us, "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction” (2 Cor. 1:3–4).

Our God is the Father of mercies and God of 𝘢𝘭𝘭 comfort. He's the One I'm to exalt in praise and adoration, blessing him for who he is—not just for what he does (or can do) for me or my son.

He comforts us 𝘪𝘯 our affliction—not just relieving us from the affliction but comforting us while we're in it. So I lift my voice to God in lament over my son, often using David’s words. Recently, I borrowed from Psalm 13:
How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I take counsel in my soul
and have sorrow in my heart all the day?

Then, by God’s grace, I was also able to conclude with the psalmist,
But I have trusted in your steadfast love;
my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.

Thus, comforted 𝘪𝘯 Christ, 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 his Word, and 𝘣𝘺 his grace, I can pray, 𝘓𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘴𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘴𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘨𝘭𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘦.

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𝗕𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝗠𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗻 𝗟𝗚𝗕𝗧+ 𝗖𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗱 by an anonymous writer. If you know someone who would appreciate this article, share this post in a DM or send them the web article: https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/blessed-mourning-lgbt-child/

10/01/2024

𝐖𝐡𝐲 𝐆𝐞𝐧 𝐙 𝐌𝐞𝐧 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐌𝐞 𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐂𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐜𝐡

For most of my life, I didn’t feel particularly masculine.

I don’t care for fixing engines, blowing stuff up, wrestling in the mud, or getting jacked. I did play football in high school, but as a 185-pound offensive lineman less than 6' tall, any “masculinity” I possessed was pummeled out of me when the game began. Action movies bore me, I don’t want to play paintball, and while I’m a gamer, I’m more Boggle than Fortnite. When boomers say my generation is “soft,” they’re referring to me.

And yet, without any “come to John Wayne” moments, something has changed—I now feel masculine.

What changed for me wasn’t discovering a new hobby or buying a pair of blue jeans or sitting at the feet of Andrew Tate. It didn’t require a retreat in the woods, a workday on the farm, or a toolbox. It wasn’t a stereotypical masculine activity.

It was the church.

I’m not alone. Last week, 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑁𝑒𝑤 𝑌𝑜𝑟𝑘 𝑇𝑖𝑚𝑒𝑠 published a piece detailing the shocking shift in religious affiliation among my generation. In the article, Ruth Graham detailed her visit to Grace Church in Waco, Texas, where men were manning the welcome doors, filling the pews, and leading the worship. But the trend is bigger than Texas. According to the Survey Center on American Life, almost 40 percent of Gen Z women now describe themselves as religiously unaffiliated, compared to only 34 percent of men. In 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘱, men were more likely to be unaffiliated. So if Gen Z women are exiting the church, why are Gen Z men like me staying?

Because the church is giving us real masculinity.

𝗣𝗼𝘀𝗶𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗩𝗶𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻

Gen Z men have grown up in a time when the concept of masculinity has been under intense scrutiny. In the wake of movements like and widespread abuse revelations, our culture has rightfully questioned toxic behaviors often associated with manhood. But in the process, the culture has failed to offer a positive, constructive vision of what masculinity should look like.

Instead, it has presented us with two extremes: On the one hand, there's a toxic version of manhood—equating masculinity with dominance, ego, and self-centeredness. On the other hand, there's a soft, aimless version of manhood that's hesitant to lead, unwilling to take responsibility, and unsure if there’s anything distinct—or commendable—about being a man. Neither of these extremes has provided a firm foundation for Gen Z men to build their lives on. And unfortunately, amid endless debates and social media wars, our society seems to have left us behind.

Except the church.

At church, Gen Z men are still being called to sacrifice in a culture that taught them to live for themselves (John 15:13).

At church, Gen Z men are still being called to discipline in a culture that taught them indulgence (2 Tim. 1:7).

At church, Gen Z men are still being called to community in a culture that taught them to do it on their own (Prov. 27:17).

At church, Gen Z men are still being called to a purpose in a culture that taught them their life was meaningless (Eph. 2:10).

At church, Gen Z men are still being called to love their wives in a culture that taught them marriage could wait (Eph. 5:25).

At church, Gen Z men are still being called to purity in a culture that promised them fulfillment from sexual freedom (1 Cor. 6:18).

At church, Gen Z men are still being called to work hard in a culture that taught them to “quiet quit” (Col. 3:23).

At church, Gen Z men are still being called sons in a culture that taught them they’re toxic (1 John 3:1).

𝗖𝗿𝘂𝗰𝗶𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺 𝗠𝗮𝘀𝗰𝘂𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗶𝘁𝘆

In the church, Gen Z men like me are rejecting the false masculinities offered by the culture and finding an alternative—a cruciform masculinity. In his death, Jesus subverts the ego, dominance, and self-centeredness of toxic masculinity in a divine display of humility, sacrifice, and love. But the cross also challenges the soft, aimless version of manhood that avoids responsibility and purpose. Jesus’s example shows us that real manhood embraces responsibility, cultivates strength, and commits to a mission—not to serve oneself but to serve others.

At church, we’re called to something higher. True masculinity is rooted in knowing who you are—your identity as a son of God—and in having a mission, a purpose worth giving your life to. It’s about taking action and showing agency, knowing you have the power to make a difference in your life, your family, and your community. It’s about leaning into a unique, God-given responsibility, entrusted with power to protect, care for, and defend the vulnerable.

My church is a place where these aspects of true masculinity are modeled and celebrated. I feel masculine when I use my experiences to lead my small group of high school students, helping them navigate their struggles with faith and life. I feel masculine when I use my time and energy to serve in the kids' ministry on Sunday mornings, serving as a spiritual father to the next generation. I feel masculine when I worship with my wife during the weekly service, building a relationship centered on faith. I feel masculine when I meet with my friends for a Bible study where we challenge each other and grow in spiritual brotherhood. I feel masculine when I work hard at my job for the benefit of my community, knowing my efforts contribute to something larger than myself.

I recognize, of course, that many of these examples could just as easily be true for a woman. A woman might say, “I feel feminine when I lead with compassion, serve my community, or build relationships rooted in faith.” Amen! That’s because redeemed masculinity and femininity both find their origins in Jesus's sacrificial love. But I think Gen Z men, in particular, are responding differently because our culture has been especially confused about what it means to be a man.

Today’s gender-neutral, gender-fluid world has blurred the lines of God’s creation of males and females as distinct expressions of humanity. It has questioned masculinity's value. Gen Z men like me long to hear that our God-given power has purpose, our responsibility has reward, and our valor has value. We crave the call to be humble sons, committed brothers, and wise fathers in our spiritual communities. And in a culture of confusion, the church has provided a clear and consistent vision of manhood shaped by the cross.

This kind of manhood is built on the fruit of the Spirit—on being a man of patience, faithfulness, and self-control. It’s about growing in wisdom, applying what you know in the right way at the right time, and leaving a legacy that will outlast you. The church has been shaping men like this for generations, and it’s no surprise Gen Z men are drawn to this vision of strength through service.

𝗞𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝗳 𝗠𝗮𝗻𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗚𝗲𝗻 𝗭 𝗖𝗿𝗮𝘃𝗲𝘀

While the culture keeps throwing around confused ideas of what men should be, the church has been steadily providing a model that makes sense: Christ. The man who laid down his life, led with love, and showed that real strength isn’t about puffing your chest but about putting others first.

This is the kind of manhood Gen Z men crave.

So my encouragement to the church is simple: Keep going. Keep promoting the sacrificial love of Jesus in a world desperate for meaning. Keep calling men to higher standards, to lives of integrity, and to leadership that looks more like a cross than a crown. You’re not just shaping better men; you’re shaping men who know their worth comes not from their accomplishments or status but from their identity as sons of God.

Gen Z men like me don’t need a new cultural definition of manhood. We need to be reminded of the one that’s been true all along—the one many of us are finding at church.

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𝗪𝗵𝘆 𝗚𝗲𝗻 𝗭 𝗠𝗲𝗻 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗠𝗲 𝗔𝗿𝗲 𝗦𝘁𝗮𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝗻 𝗖𝗵𝘂𝗿𝗰𝗵 by Luke Simon. GenZ students ages 16-26 can attend TGC25 for a discounted price of just $169! Learn more and register today: tgc.org/tgc25

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Access Christian Counseling is a Biblically oriented, Professional Counseling group with offices practicing in Alpharetta, Cu***ng & Dahlonega, Georgia.