Ms. Shannon’s Counseling Page

05/03/2026

Co-regulation is when a more-regulated nervous system helps a less-regulated nervous system find balance. With kids, it usually means a calm, attuned adult using their own regulated state to bring a child back into a regulated state.

The adult’s body and presence does most of the work, through cues like tone of voice, facial expression, breathing rhythm, pace of movement, proximity, predictability, and sometimes touch.

The mechanism is biological, not behavioral.

Human nervous systems are wired to read each other constantly through a process called neuroception (a term from polyvagal theory). When a child’s nervous system reads “this person near me is calm and safe,” their own nervous system gets the signal that it can settle too.

That’s why telling a dysregulated child to “calm down” rarely works, but a slow exhale, a soft voice, and a steady body next to them often does.

Co-regulation is not just for babies and toddlers. Adults co-regulate with each other constantly. Anyone whose nervous system is in a stress response can benefit from being near a regulated nervous system, regardless of age. Co-regulation is a healthy part of human life across the entire lifespan.

Self-regulation, on the other hand, is the ability to notice what’s happening in your body and emotions, interpret what those signals mean, identify what you need, and take action to meet that need. It is not the same as “being calm” or “behaving well.” A regulated state can be calm, alert, energized, focused, or sleepy depending on what the situation calls for. The skill is matching your internal state to what you actually need, and being able to shift it when needed.

It depends on a few underlying capacities working together: interoception (sensing internal body signals), emotional recognition, sensory processing, executive function, and a nervous system that has had enough practice in regulated states to know what regulation feels like in the first place.

Kids do not graduate out of needing co-regulation at a specific age. They build self-regulation capacity over years of repeated co-regulation experiences.

Each time a caregiver helps a child move from dysregulated back to regulated, the child’s brain is laying down the neural pathways that will eventually let them do that for themselves.

Self-regulation is essentially internalized co-regulation.

This progression is not linear. Even kids who can self-regulate in low-demand situations will need more co-regulation when they are tired, hungry, sick, sensory-overloaded, or stressed. This is true for adults too. Capacity moves up and down depending on context.

It's also important to know that neurodivergent kids often need more co-regulation for longer, and that is not a deficit. It can reflect a nervous system that is processing more sensory information, has a different threshold for stress, or has had fewer experiences of attuned co-regulation if their cues were missed or misread.

The shift from co-reg to self-reg happens gradually as kids start to recognize their own internal signals, name what they are feeling, identify what their body needs, and try strategies on their own.

Kids will often try and fail many many many times before the right strategy lands successfully and can be used independently. But the trial-and-error of practicing with different tools is part of the skill-building process.

05/03/2026

04/25/2026

Signs of proprioceptive difficulties in a child

👉 frequently bumps into objects, trips
👉 appears clumsy, poor coordination

👉 difficulty grading force (too hard / too soft)
👉 presses, pushes or hits too hard

👉 seeks strong input (jumping, running, crashing)
👉 enjoys “heavy work” (pushing, pulling, carrying)

👉 poor body awareness (doesn’t know where the body is in space)
👉 difficulties with posture and body positioning

👉 leans on hands or slumps when sitting
👉 gets tired quickly during activities

👉 difficulty with fine motor tasks (writing, fastening, drawing)
👉 problems with motor planning

👉 seeks oral input (chewing, biting)
👉 difficulty with focus and attention

Important:

This is not just “clumsiness” or personality.
It’s how the nervous system processes body input.

My name is Anna Olawa.
I am a physiotherapist, a diagnostician, and
a sensory integration therapist.
I have been a physiotherapist for 24 years.
I have completed over 57 courses and trainings.
I am recommended by families from across Scotland and England.

⸻

Paediatric physiotherapy • sensory integration therapy • child development • core strength • balance training • motor skills • proprioception • vestibular system • posture correction • kids physio • developmental therapy • movement therapy

03/29/2026

Trauma-Informed Insight Series:
Dysregulation in the Classroom

Not every reaction is a choice.
Sometimes… it’s survival.

When students lash out, shut down, avoid, or people-please—
they may be dysregulated, not defiant.

Survival responses show up as:
Fight → aggression
Flight → avoidance
Freeze → shutdown
Fawn → people-pleasing

These aren’t behaviors to punish—they’re signals to understand.

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Join us at the
Creating Trauma-Sensitive Schools Conference
🔗 conference.attachmenttraumanetwork.org

03/28/2026

I have seen this in action. A really great team who is willing to respond differently makes all the difference!

Imagine spending your entire childhood being told you are lazy, manipulative, dramatic, and deliberately difficult when in reality your nervous system was working as hard as it possibly could just to get through a Tuesday. That is the lived experience of most children with Pathological Demand Avoidance who go unidentified. PDA is not a behavior disorder. It is not bad parenting. It is a neurological profile that demands a completely different approach — and the families and educators who find that approach describe it as nothing short of life-changing. Read our full guide and find out what PDA really looks like, why standard strategies backfire, and what actually helps.

03/28/2026

The Regulated Classroom is a Tier 1 framework—think of it as the foundation for everything you do. When you engage in a TRC practice, you’re connecting, sharing joy, and co-regulating alongside your students.

These simple, intentional practices create a sense of felt safety in your classroom. And when children, and adults, feel safe, your students become very available for learning: curiosity blooms, creativity sparks, questions flow, and everyone is ready to dive into the lesson you’ve prepared.

03/21/2026

One thing that sets us apart from other professional development is we put THE EDUCATOR first, always. We believe a regulated adult in the classroom can change the entire classroom culture. We also know, you cannot read the room and understand what your students need, if you can't read your own body first.

03/19/2026

It's likely you were not specifically taught how to regulate your nervous systems. We were taught to push through. Calm down. Hold it together.

But the body doesn't work that way. Humans are wired for play, connection, movement, rhythm, and nature. They are how our nervous systems find felt safety.
And felt safety changes everything. When you feel safe, your brain stops scanning for threat and starts opening up. You become curious instead of reactive. Flexible instead of rigid. Present instead of just surviving the day.

That's where real teaching happens, and that's when learning actually lands.

03/15/2026

Ever feel like you’ve tried everything to manage challenging student behavior, only to find that nothing really sticks? What if the issue isn’t about motivation or choice, but rather the state of a student’s nervous system?

Some students come into the classroom ready to connect and learn, while others seem on edge, easily frustrated, or shut down. These are nervous system responses—automatic shifts into protection when a student doesn’t feel safe or regulated. You’ve probably seen it:

👩‍🏫The student who lashes out, talks back, or refuses to follow directions—their system is preparing to protect them from a perceived threat. In Polyvagal terms this is called sympathetic.

👩🏽‍🏫The student who shuts down, disengages, or avoids interaction, their system is pulling them inward, conserving energy for safety. In polyvagal terms this state is called dorsal.

It’s easy to label these as defiant or oppositional behaviors, but when we look through a nervous system lens, we see them for what they really are: signs that a student is struggling to regulate. And here’s the key—we have the power to help.

03/06/2026

I’ve seen this in action! Once there is a felt sense of safety, anxiety decreases and ability to function within school expectations increases.

03/06/2026