Carolyn Neese Therapy and Consulting Services, PLLC

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Carolyn Neese Therapy and Consulting Services, PLLC

I am the owner and founder of Carolyn Neese Therapy and Consulting Services, PLLC, but you can just call me Carrie.

CNTCS provides psychotherapy services to individuals hoping to make impactful change in their life as they walk through major life transitions, self-exploration, and start the process of healing. I aim to serve those who are needing a place to just come as they are. Wherever you may find yourself in life, whether that be a major life transition, exploring your future path or getting to know the real you, taking steps to heal past trauma or manage secondary trauma from your job, or just needing a place to vent and process the daily stresses of life. I meet you where you are and work with you on moving forward, wherever that may lead you. I especially have a deep understanding and empathy for those who are in the human service industry due to past experience working within and partnering with non-profits, church ministry, both international and local mission providers, and those serving on the front lines within medical and case management industries. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/carrie-walker-neese-high-point-nc/990794

01/10/2022

Clearly, I have not stuck to Wednesday posts and it has been a few weeks. But post 8 will hopefully not disappointment. So from now on just expect that each week there will be a post! I’ve been working on this one for a little while now. And I feel it is relevant to me in this time, and probably to many of you. So here it goes.

Learning to let go. This may be one of life’s hardest lessons. And I am constantly being reminded how I need to do this for myself. I think part of letting go is realizing how each letting go is different. It isn’t always the same, it doesn’t feel the same every time, it isn’t for the same reasons. There are different kinds of letting go, and maybe that’s why it is so hard because we think it should be the same every time or it isn’t different than other times. But it can be, and this is something I am still learning and have had to do myself and walk with clients through as well. Letting go of unhealthy relationships, or just the letting go of relationships w the passage of time and changes in life with no hard feelings. Letting go of strongly held emotion or beliefs, anger, resentment, victim mentality, righteousness and self entitlement. Letting go of what once was to make room for what can be. Letting go of your youth. Letting go of who you were to grow and change into who you are becoming. Letting go or releasing grief. Letting go of an argument, whether resolved or not, we sometimes just have to let it go and be what it is with or without apology or resolution in order to move forward. Letting go of expectations, they can hold us and others hostage. Letting go of worry, it is scientifically proven and quite literally the most worthless of emotional energies (Brene brown Atlas of the Heart). Letting go of your children, as they age it seems you let them go just a little bit at a time. Letting go of behaviors and beliefs that no longer serve you. And my personal favorite, letting go of the picture you had for your life, to usher in the life you were truly meant to live. It’s incredible how letting go comes with many different faces. Felt with many different emotions. But every single one breathes change. Every single one is a sign of growth. Every single letting go is a step outside of fear and into…..what you decide. It’s your story. I don’t know if it’s the seasons changing, or these hurricane winds, but man do I have some serious references for this letting go and changing winds. iykyk I am having to do a lot of letting go this season within all the different faces of letting go. And I know I am not alone. Navigating these seasons are always better when you have a support system and people to uplift you as you move through changes and choose new life. So feel free to share or send an encouraging word to others in the comments or DM me. And know that my door is open if you are ready and need someone to walk with you as you choose the next line in your story.

16/09/2022

So here’s the sitch, post 7.

I have often stated “people are multifaceted, people are complex, there is always more to the story”. And I am not wrong. What happens, and something I have noticed myself as a clinician but also within my personal life is that particular belief or perspective is often forgotten. Or for some it is too much for them to see more than one part of a person or a story. As a narrative therapist stories are what I do best. But we can easily get stuck in one part of someone’s story and forget that there can be more, or there was more. I had the privilege of working with a client who taught me more than they will ever know. They constantly fought this battle of trying to be seen as more than just a victim and a survivor. I’ll never forget a session where they said “I get everyone wants a survivor story, I get mad when they call us victims. But I’m also a parent! I’m a graduate! I had a life before my trauma and I have a life now after my trauma! I AM NOT MY TRAUMA!” They are afraid they will have to carry that story as their main identity for the rest of their life. And I had never truly heard it explained that way. I thought, how dare we not allow these people outside of their victim or survivor story. How dare we not see beyond what happened to them. This not only goes for those who have a story of trauma, but also those who have addiction. Even when sober, all we see is the addiction story. We tend to stifle and compartmentalize people and their gifts, their stories, their personalities. “They just mow lawns”, “they just play basketball”, “they can only do music”. “They had a stroke or a heart attack”. “Their a refugee”. We even do it to ourselves. We can get stuck in that one part of our story and not see what more we are capable of, or that we are worthy of being sober, of thriving, of using all the gifts we have been given. We are more than just one story. And we should allow each other the opportunity to grow into our own story. I am forever grateful to that client. They taught me how to see more than the story in front of me. I don’t know if they’ll ever know that, but they became part of my story and influenced how I am able to stop, be still, and remember when I look into the face of the client, the person in front me, there is so much more than just a story.

08/09/2022

CNTCS is on vacation this week y‘all! It may be a double post kinda week next week!

01/09/2022

Post 6 of “This is my story…”

It took me some time to think of how to put this post together. And if it weren’t for an unexpected call with a client I don’t know if I would have come back to this thought. About 4 years ago I started working with a client who drastically changed the way I approached therapy. Their story was something I had never heard before, and truly was the spark for learning as a clinician sometimes there is nothing you can do but just sit with your client in whatever emotion is needed. I remember hearing their story and as a narrative based therapist hearing the unique outcomes, the story of survival, moments to use in developing and creating a different perspective. The only word that I could think of for this clients story was “revolution”. I heard this story of actually surviving moments of true revolution within a country they grew up in, but the most significant and difficult was the revolution happening inside of them. They told me it felt like a revolution because of the battle they fight against negative emotions, rumination, nightmares and flashbacks, and the fight to remain in power over their own story. Mind you, all of this is being interpreted, so the language is pretty powerful and complicated to w**d through. This client expressed that although they don’t feel successful every day, they felt therapy was part of the revolution and one of the ways that encourages self growth and self love. Fast forward to this week and that client called after having not seen me in about 4ish years. That word just popped up again. Revolution. And if you think about it, the process of therapy absolutely relates to Revolution. This word typically drums up thoughts of war, political uprising and overthrow but if you read the Merriam-Webster definition it is so much more than that. Revolution is a full rotation, it is a paradigm shift, it is change. As a narrative based therapist this process of therapy is absolutely changing the way how language, systems, experiences defined a story and using these things to give the pen back to the main character, the client. It’s an uprising, a Revolution of self. Therapy helps to identify and overthrow those habits, beliefs, and thoughts that no longer serve us and brings us into the light. Yes, therapy is not all rainbows and battles won, or golden moments. In a Revolution, in change, in growth it can be painful, feel dark, uncomfortable. But the hope of something different, something sustainable, something better than before keeps the Revolution going. This clients story, though very different than my own, has encouraged me to continue on this road to Revolution within myself. Some may think it’s a strong word, but for many who walk into the therapy room it feels revolutionary. And I am forever grateful to this client who named their experience and brought a Revolution of therapy into my office.

25/08/2022

This is my story… POST 5.

I have had a hard time these past two weeks being still long enough to write. Last week I knew exactly what I wanted to share. This week not so much. I have plenty I would like to say but those thoughts are not quite complete. I’ve felt run down, a little numb, and my husband said it perfectly earlier this week “defeated”. And as I think back on these last few days I know I am not the only one. I just read a friends post about feeling tired but still keeping on. I’ve heard from discouraged co-workers. There have been many times it feels people in general are focused solely on their own outcomes and not how their reactions, choices, and the outcomes impact all those around them. It begins to feel discouraging and defeating. I have heard these words often and can honestly say it is a widely shared experience in this present time especially among those of us who work within helping professions. I spoke with an interpreter I have worked with the last few years, who has now truly become a friend, about this feeling defeated and exhausted. We have shared many things over the last few years including celebrations, tears, heartache, determination, and sitting in the therapy room as she, too, becomes part of the process of therapy. We came to learn we now share the battle of auto immune disease. We talked about these things and how frustrated I have felt and you know what she said to me? “I know the stories you carry, these client stories and struggles stick with you. And you carry your own, too. I am telling you to take them off from around your shoulder and hang them on the tree outside, do not carry them in with you.” And she gave me that look, you know the lean in raised eyebrow look that says “duh girl, remember? I got that from interpreting for you over these last few years.” We shared a laugh because she is so right. It wasn’t but an hour later I was reminded by the tattoo on a friends wrist to “Be Still”. And you know when you start the car and that perfect song for the moment plays. Yeah. Reminders that even in moments of defeat, when it feels people are unwilling to grow, even in the exhaustion and the numbness, be still. Be still. Be still. It is in those moments of stillness we find hope. It is in those moments growth occurs. We allow ourselves the gift of grace and more easily recognize the humanity we share with others. It is in these moments I make the decision who holds the pen that will write my next story line. Defeat, society, stress? Or humility, peace, and perseverance? Whatever whomever it may be, we make the decision who holds the pen and what the next course of action or reaction might be. So this week, although never easy, I will choose to be still. Because in my stillness I hope it will provide an opportunity for someone else to seek and find theirs.

17/08/2022

Post 4 of “This is my Story…” is out right NOW!!!

Seems to be a theme, story sharing. The famous Joanna Gaines just recently put out her new book “The stories we tell” this week, all personal memories and stories of hers, a friend of mine her mother just presented her own book of memories to their family. And here I am, sharing pieces of my own. Not to mention, playing on repeat in my car is an early 2000s mix where Brandi Carlile’s “The Story” is one of my top most played songs. The experiences, events, people, places, all make up the story of our lives. Each of these pieces impact us and become part of how we make sense of ourselves and the world around us. Our perception, perspective, how we feel, how we view the world around us is all part of the process of creating meaning and finding purpose. Being a therapist it just comes w the territory, we hear peoples stories. And so much of the time when people come into therapy they come with a story they feel is not their own. That they did not get to define, mold, create, or choose. That something or someone or some experience changed their narrative, their life, no longer seems to be their own. Something else is defining and identifying them. I myself, even though this is my favorite kind of therapy, Narrative therapy, am not immune to this. I am still processing parts of my own story, making meaning out of them, and creating an identity that I did not realize was there until I was given new ways of seeing my own story. Post-partum, a global pandemic, and people who believe in you will do that to you. That’s the gift of narrative therapy. It provides opportunity for something new to be discovered, recognized, acknowledged, or created and hands us back the pen. Or reminds us the pen has always been in our hand, even with things we might not be able to change we are able to find ourselves apart from those things, or we embrace them. Choosing whether or not They define our inner soul, our inner most being. Even if you feel your story is broken and shattered, there is still meaning to be made, and the most beautiful stories can come from pieces we put back together or build as a grand mosaic. If you are struggling with your own story, I see you. I hear you. I’ve been there, and I am still working on mine. I’m here if you are ready to share yours, no matter where you find yourself in it.

10/08/2022

POST 3!!!!!

This is my story…

Another question I get all the time is, “so why marriage and family therapy?” And though the title Marriage and Family Therapist does encompass a small part of what makes LMFT’s different than other professions, it is not ALL that we do. The title LMFT means so much more. Briefly, if you see an LMFT, their specialty is systems theory. We look at everything as part of a system whether it be small, large, external, internal, business oriented or family oriented, etc. We recognize the connections that every individual has within the systems they find themselves in and how that system impacts them. We focus on context around what is being brought into therapy. In short, We consider all the things. Until I started my Masters Program for MFT at Pfeiffer University, I really had no idea what an LMFT was, and to be honest, when I chose this program and path I just wasn’t ready to jump into adulthood after college yet. I had no idea what I was doing. How many of us do when we graduate college?? I had a professor in my undergrad who was an LMFT, and she told me to look into it. That she thought I would be a good fit. So I read a little about MFT, interviewed and just took that jump pretty much blindly. I realized so much about myself, and really began to understand myself better throughout stages of my life because of this program. As a kid I always felt a little different. I could not stand division, or conflict, and was quite honestly a people pleaser because I had no other coping techniques. I just wanted everyone to get along. I was the girl who most of the time stayed friends or was at least nice to the boys my friends broke up with. (Not girl code typically). I could typically see both sides of a situation, a topic, or whatever conflict was happening and that really annoyed some people at times. I was friends, or friendly, with most people. Was I perfect? Absolutely not, let’s get that straight right now, I was not a perfect angel. LOL I hold very strong beliefs and as an adolescent you 💯 knew about them. But until going through my MFT program I never understood why. I never knew how to make sense of it all. But as an LMFT, I finally recognized where some of these pieces of myself belonged. I also started to embrace the parts of me that were different. And one of the major aspects of MFT work that I LOVE, is that it works to negate the “problem” language and stigmatizing language that mental health is typically known for. It externalizes, puts a problem outside of someone, or identifies what in the system is reinforcing that “negative problem belief”. MFTs look at individuals, couples, and families all the same. No one person is a problem, the systems themselves may not be functioning to the degree where everyone benefits or is fulfilling their life as they wish. Every part of the system matters. And sometimes it means throwing a wrench in the system to restart it or send it in a different direction in order for it to keep functioning toward a newly defined meaning of success. These aspects of MFT work allowed me to embrace what was always apart of me, I just never had language to describe it. Nor did I fully understand it until now. And as a therapist in private practice, that is one of my goals, is to help those who are looking for the language, or looking to understand their part in this larger system of the world. Not where they fit, but how they have been fitting, and whether they are ready to throw that wrench and make change, or if they finally recognize the significance of their part in the system and their relation to others. To recognize that you matter, you are significant, and you are a part of something just as you are.

04/08/2022

POST 2! ”This is my story…”

I have had this conversation so many times: Stranger says, “what do you do?” And I say, “I’m a therapist”. most people assume “Oh you must really love helping people”. Or “You must have it all together to do that”. And for a while there I really felt like that second statement had to be true. When I made the leap into Marriage and Family therapy (MFT) I had all these aspirations of being exactly what everyone thought a therapist should be. Professional, empathic, and if you are an MFT then you have the perfect marriage, kid is well behaved, etc. I would “rescue” people from their traumatic backgrounds and highly toxic relationships. 🙄 There is this perception that Therapists do all the things right because we are the ones in the “expert seat”. Much like pastors, if they preaching from the pulpit they are the right hand of God, right? If you practice therapy then you have life figured out. For much of my early years and education I thought I had to have it all figured out and if I didn’t then I better shove it down so deep as if it didn’t exist. And I wish I could say I quickly learned all this wasn’t true, but it really took the experience of sitting with clients and my own therapy experience to understand what being a therapist really meant. Yes, I have training and skills in beneficial interventions that are helpful for everyday life, and I continue to learn more and sharpen those skills. I am highly experienced in working with anxiety, trauma, grief, and major life transitions. Don’t get me wrong, I know those things about me as a therapist are true and they are impactful, but I also know that I can be those things and stand in the unknown, sit in the question and not have the answer. Every client I have sat with, every experience in the therapy room, every moment of ignorance, of brilliance, and some embarrassing ones have slowly, step by step, brought me to the realization that I don’t have to pretend to have it all together. I can be real. I can just sit with someone if I don’t have all the answers and that’s okay. I can be candid. I don’t have to “fix” anything. I think sitting with clients in some of the most unfair, grievous, and darkest moments of their lives, and then sitting with my own lowest moments, I learned that all they and I needed in those moments was someone to hear us. Someone to sit with. We needed someone to acknowledge them and walk with us as we move through them. Even as a therapist with years of skills and intervention experience, there are times when just being present is enough. Being present in the rawness and realness that a person brings with them into therapy, and allowing myself to do the same whether that be alongside them or in my own work with my own therapist. Whether that work be post-partum and parenthood, unlearning behaviors that no longer serve a purpose, reclaiming or recreating identity, or dealing with unprocessed grief. Whatever it is, It is welcome into therapy, and although I won’t guarantee perfection or every answer to life’s questions, I can guarantee real presence. I can guarantee a therapist willing to figure out what works for you alongside you. I will continue to be a therapist that does their own work so I can continue to provide a place for others to start theirs. Being a therapist to me is all that you would assume, professional, empathic, highly skilled and experienced. But it is also being real, being present, and being willing to recognize the shared humanity with the person sitting across the room from me.
Thanks for reading! Please share with those you feel would benefit and be on the lookout for another post in “This is my story…”.

27/07/2022

So here’s the small talk. I am 32, happily married to my greatest friend and biggest fan. We’ve been married almost 8 years, together 12-13 but who’s counting at this point right? Numbers are not my thing, he’ll tell you that! 😉 I became a mom at 30, unexpected, to a wildly intense independent and deeply caring little boy. Every day he is a reminder of purpose and a love so great there is no understanding or explaining it. I’m a Marriage and Family therapist, Certified Clinical Trauma Professional Level 2. I’ve been practicing therapy for roughly 6 years in both conventional and unconventional ways. Typically, I am highly caffeinated because I have a “slight” obsession with coffee. I blame Lorelai Gilmore, and if you know who I’m talking about you probably share in this slight obsession.
Here’s the not so small talk. Almost 3 years post-partum, and I've only just started feeling like my head is finding the surface. Navigating post- partum, motherhood, and a global pandemic all at the same time? I mean come on, WTF? For the past few years, I have normalized symptoms of auto immune disease. Not realizing that every part of my body cracking, moments of weakness and pain in my joints, is not normal at 32. Thanks to my eye doctor and integrative medicine we may be on the road to a diagnosis of rheumatoid arthritis. We shall see. I am a person of faith but haven’t called a church home in almost 8 years, and although my relationship with God has remained my stronghold, I can’t say my relationship with the larger church isn’t complicated. But what relationship involving people isn’t complicated? I've spent 8 years in the non-profit world. Now that in itself is a crash course into the complicated world of helping professionals. And honestly, I’m tired of feeling like I have to navigate these things silently or share only once I have reached the part where I overcome or succeed. I need someone in the midst of the revelation, in the midst of pain, to just be with me in the most uncomfortable parts of my story. To be my cornerman as I box with past trauma, rage, injustice, or whatever it is. I am sharing these things with you all because in the years I have been a therapist and battling with my own therapeutic journey I recognize the hardest part of stepping into the therapy room is being honest with yourself and the sheer terror of what it might be like if you actually say what you think and feel out loud. The fear of what someone will think of you because of what you said, how you said it, what you are thinking, what you feel. And maybe you are thinking, dang, that's a bit much. But maybe you aren't. Maybe you are thinking, THANK GOD, a therapist who is speaking their truth, and willing to hear mine. And full disclosure, I questioned myself every second of writing this, because even though I'm a therapist and done some hard work to get here, I still question myself. I share these things because they are real, and because I know I am not alone in these aspects of my life. I want others to know they are not alone, and there is someone willing to hear their story exactly as it is, exactly where they are, as they are. I hope you will continue to walk with me in this story telling venture of mine and share with those you feel may benefit. Feel free to reach out via messenger for any questions or just a comment you may have. Look for the next post in "This is my story..." to come next week!

25/07/2022

My first post in the "This is my story..." series is coming Wednesday! Here's a little more about what to expect from this!
I know "get to know you" posts can be kind of like small talk, and for some of you small talk is not your fave and avoid it at all costs. I am a pretty good small talker honestly, and for those that know me my small talk ain't cheap, nor is it "just talk". I value authenticity. I value real. I value people, and I value their stories. I will absolutely share some "small talk" like, I am married, I have a kid, I do not have pets, and love all things coffee. Those are real things about me, but I want to be more intentional about sharing the real parts of my story. I will go a bit deeper, and I promise what you read will be fully me, fully inspired by my greatest passion and the reason for why I am even doing this work. People, and their stories.

22/07/2022

For those who may not know me well I have decided to do a weekly series to introduce myself a bit. Inspired by my husband who all in all is my greatest supporter and biggest fan. “This is my story…” will be a way for those who may be hesitant to reach out to learn a bit more about me, my practice, my style of therapy, and my own “why therapy” journey. And for those that do know me, you may learn something new, or be encouraged in sharing, starting, continuing your own “why therapy” journey. Starting or honestly even considering therapy can feel intimidating, scary, and maybe you don’t even know where to start. And let’s be honest, those therapist profiles don’t always share enough to just jump right in to trusting someone with your story. Especially if you are considering this for the first time and have no recommendations from trusted friends or family. So let me take the first step, let me be the first to step out onto the stage and share my story. And for you Brene Brown lovers ("Call to Courage" Netflix Special), I’ll step out and get my ass kicked first and share in this vulnerability. Because I believe if I as a therapist am not willing to do these things, then how can I expect you to take the leap into a therapeutic journey? So, this is my story. First post coming Wednesday July 27th!

Address

175 Northpoint Avenue
NC
27262

Opening Hours

Wednesday	09:00 - 17:00
Thursday	09:00 - 17:00
Friday	09:00 - 17:00

Telephone

+13369376524

Website

https://headway.co/providers/carrie-neese

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