Therapy on Fig, 5619 North Figueroa Street, Highland Park, CA (2025)

09/22/2025

For many high achievers, their identity and self-worth become entwined with performance, making rest feel unsafe and failure unbearable. Through IFS, we can meet the striving parts with compassion, separating who we are from what we do and allowing Self—calm, curious, and compassionate—to lead. When that happens, achievement shifts from compulsion to choice, and worth is no longer tied to accolades but to an inner steadiness that external success can’t provide.

If you're a high achiever and curious to learn how IFS may deepen your connection and understanding of yourself, read more about this topic here:

https://therapyonfig.com/blog/2025/9/20/when-success-isnt-enough-understanding-the-inner-world-of-high-achievers

09/15/2025

What is a Saturn return?

A “Saturn return” describes a 3-year period when the planet Saturn returns to the same place in the sky that it was at when you were born. This process takes about 27 to 30 years, meaning that you will go through a Saturn return at the end of your 20s, 50s, and 80s. In this blog, I speak specifically to the first Saturn return – the one that occurs in your late 20s – as it tends to bring the greatest shock and upheaval as the first time around.

Saturn is the planet of accountability, seeming to shout “wake up!” with a tone most would not describe as gentle. When your Saturn returns, you are called to face the reality of how you are (or aren’t) showing up in important areas of your life. What’s working, and what isn’t? How can you take accountability for your life? This process is the beginning of your initiation into adulthood.

Read more here https://therapyonfig.com/blog/2025/9/13/what-is-a-saturn-return for tips to help get the most out of this potent and transformative period of life with grace.

09/08/2025

In a culture that idealizes clean eating, self-discipline, and wellness, it’s easy to overlook when a desire to be healthy begins to cause harm. Orthorexia is a lesser-known but increasingly common form of disordered eating that often starts from a well-intentioned place, yet can gradually consume a person’s energy, identity, and peace of mind.

Some signs of orthorexia may look like:

Feeling guilt, shame, or self-criticism after eating something “imperfect”

Believing that health or moral worth is tied to food purity

Experiencing inner conflict, stress, or self-punishment when breaking food rules

Feeling disconnected from one’s body, hunger cues, or natural pleasure in eating

If you're struggling with these internal experiences, know that working through them in therapy doesn't mean giving up on health; it means learning to relate to food and ourselves with more flexibility, compassion, and trust.

visit https://therapyonfig.com/blog/2025/9/7/understanding-orthorexia-the-overlooked-eating-disorder to learn more!

09/02/2025

When your therapist shares a similar third-culture background, you don’t have to translate every detail or simplify your story to be understood. We can keep up with the geography of your life, the layers of your history, and the nuances of your vulnerabilities and strengths. Therapy becomes a space where your complexity is not only held but honored—without being simplified, dismissed, or lost in translation.

Read more about why adulting is so hard when you grew up a third culture kid.

https://therapyonfig.com/blog/2025/8/30/once-a-third-culture-kid-now-an-adult-third-culture-kid-why-adulting-feels-harder

08/25/2025

Sometimes, the most important work is the quietest. The journey of healing from trauma isn't a race to be won, but a series of small, brave steps. If you find yourself in the midst of one of those steps, know that you're not alone. We wrote this post to offer a different perspective on the path forward, one that’s rooted in patience, kindness, and small acts of courage.

Ready for a gentle reminder? Read the full post.

https://therapyonfig.com/blog/2025/8/23/the-quiet-acts-of-bravery

08/18/2025

ADHD and friendships: It's a complex topic that's rarely discussed. ADHD can deeply affect our relationships, often leading to painful cycles of shame, rejection, and isolation.

Here’s a closer look at some of the challenges:

Executive Function Challenges: Forgetfulness isn't personal. Forgetting to text back or missing an event can feel like being a "bad friend," leading to guilt and withdrawal.

Impulsivity & Verbal Hyperactivity: Interrupting or "taking up too much space" in a conversation is a neurologically-driven behavior, but it's often misinterpreted as self-centeredness, leading to social rejection.

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD): This is the intense emotional pain from perceived or real rejection. A friend's delayed response can trigger catastrophic thoughts about the relationship ending—all because of a lifetime of feeling "too much" or misunderstood.

Accumulated Trauma: Many of us carry "invisible wounds" from years of being labeled as lazy or disruptive. This can lead to hypervigilance and masking, which makes authentic connection difficult.

It's crucial to understand these challenges to build healthier relationships. You are not a bad friend; you're navigating friendships with a neurodivergent brain.

Read more https://therapyonfig.com/blog/2025/8/16/how-ifs-therapy-can-offer-an-affirming-approach-to-adhders-struggling-with-friendships to see how a specific therapy approach can help you navigate these challenges.

08/17/2025

One of the most healing realizations in IFS is that you are not your parts. And you are definitely not your job.

There is a Self in you – calm, curious, compassionate – that exists beyond your title or productivity. When we access that Self, there’s often a profound sense of relief. We can reconnect with the truth that we are inherently worthy, not because of what we do, but because of who we are.

This doesn’t mean quitting your job or devaluing your career. It means untangling who you are from what you do. Work can be meaningful; it can even be a place of expression and growth. But it can’t be the entire container for your identity.

If this resonates with you, I invite you to get curious:

What parts of you feel pressure to achieve, succeed, or “be someone”?
What do these parts believe about your worth?
Can you offer these parts some compassion -- not to get rid of them, but to let them know that they don’t have to carry these burdens alone?

www.therapyonfig.com

08/07/2025

Reflection Prompts for Summer

If you’re craving a little more balance this summer, reflect on the following prompts. You can journal, jot down notes in your phone, record a voice note, or simply think about your answers – summer’s busy, but taking a few minutes to center yourself in this season might help you move through the busy-ness with more ease

08/05/2025

Grace brings authenticity, intuition, and creativity to every session, creating a brave and grounding space where all parts of you are welcome, from the familiar and self-assured to the hidden and unspoken. Her approach weaves Internal Family Systems (IFS), Brainspotting, and creative arts therapies, helping individuals, couples, teens, and families move beyond survival mode and reconnect with the self they’ve longed to embrace.

She has a heart for clients who’ve spent their lives bridging worlds—oldest siblings, caretakers, peacekeepers, creatives, and those navigating generational, cultural, or religious expectations. With Grace, therapy is about releasing inherited “shoulds,” deepening self-trust, and creating a life rooted in joy and authentic connection, with yourself and with the people you love. 💛

Book an initial call to see if it's a good fit with her at www.therapyonfig.com/contact

07/28/2025

We work with so many clients who carry shame about their bodies—shame that didn’t start with them. These beliefs were inherited, absorbed, and rehearsed in families, cultures, and systems that taught parts of us to equate safety with conformity.

In IFS, we see parts like the inner critic not as enemies, but as protectors trying to shield us from rejection or pain. They learned their roles from diet culture, media, trauma, and oppressive systems. Healing doesn’t come from silencing them; it comes from turning toward them with compassion.

This is body liberation: reclaiming pleasure, taking up space, and moving from internal control to internal care. It starts within, but it doesn’t end there.

When we unburden ourselves of inherited shame, we don’t just heal ourselves; we disrupt the systems that benefit from our self-rejection. Every act of internal compassion chips away at the external forces of anti-fatness, racism, ableism, and misogyny.

As we turn toward our parts with curiosity, we also move toward a world where more bodies are honored, more stories are heard, and more of us are free.

07/21/2025

The Hidden Weight: How History Shapes the Mental Load in In*******al Relationships

How does this all relate to couples therapy?

Macro-contexts shape us through our bodies, beliefs, and relationships. In couples work, we explore how history and power show up between partners.

A Filipino man and an American woman might unconsciously reenact colonial gender and racial dynamics. A q***r couple seeking asylum through marriage may face the irony that, while the U.S. still isn’t fully safe for LGBTQ+ folks, it offers more safety than their home country, often due to the legacy of colonialism and imported moral codes.

These layers matter. They help us hold complexity with care and compassion.

✨ Want to explore this more? Read more here:

https://therapyonfig.com/blog/2025/7/19/the-hidden-weight-how-history-shapes-the-mental-load-in-interracial-relationships

07/14/2025

For many neurodivergent teens, daytime is a cacophony of sounds, stimulation, and neurotypical societal demands. On the other hand, nighttime may be the only time they feel calm, in control, and able to focus. It offers a sense of privacy and autonomy, and a time when they aren’t being watched, judged, or expected to perform. Night is also when some of their peers, especially other neurodivergent teens, are most active. This can make nighttime a prime time to socialize within neurodivergent or “neurokin” communities. Additionally, many neurodivergent teens struggle with transitions, including the transition to bedtime. Sleep itself may feel like a demand, something that triggers resistance or anxiety. They may become hyper-focused on a task or special interest and struggle to stop and transition to sleep. Additionally, sensory sensitivities can intensify at night. Sounds, lights, or textures that go unnoticed during the day may become heightened when things are quiet.

Especially for a neurodivergent teen with PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance), collaboration and giving them autonomy over their decisions is key.

Visit the blog link in our profile to read more!

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