07/10/2024
Being 12 and a half years sober I’m thinking back to the time I was in the crux of my addiction to drugs and alcohol. There were people I loved and cared about that I felt gave up on me and didn’t want to help me or associate with me anymore. I felt really low and I was angry that they weren’t showing me any support for at least trying to get clean and sober. But when I look back at that time I realize I wasn’t really trying. I was using the anger I had towards them as a rationale to stay stuck in that addiction and terrible lifestyle. What I realized years later as a sober person, that they probably cared and were probably rooting for me but in silence. Because they knew if they let me know they cared out loud when they can clearly see I wasn’t taking the steps necessary to get sober, that they would just be enabling me. I get that now. Didn’t understand it then, but I do now. See, I was under the impression I needed to know they supported me before I could get clean. Like I needed some kind of motivation from them. And I probably did, but not in that way. See it was after I got help and actually worked my program and hit 30 , then 60 then 90 days clean I started to see the support come around and in a really good way. So I had it backwards back then thinking the support should come during the storm. It comes after the storm during the recovery from that storm. So remember that if you are , right now in your addiction and you feel like everyone you care about has given up on you, I’m here to tell you they haven’t. They just want to see you succeed but also that you are taking the steps necessary to do so. Getting real help whether it be a medically monitored detox program and into an inpatient or outpatient program afterwards. Or going to NA,AA etc. And if you are being completely honest with yourself only you know whether you are taking the right steps or not. Do the hard work, the heavy lifting and just be patient and everything will fall into place. 💯
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