Relationship Resources

Relationship Resources Couples deserve to succeed Conflicts in a marriage are rarely about the issues, but instead how couples talk about the issues.

In our couples counseling sessions, partners communicate face-to-face, openly and honestly about their issues. Throughout the conversation we will identify and prevent flashpoints that create conflict escalation. We will give feedback and provide direction toward the most effective way of communicating in a given situation. Our feedback encourages respectful and mutually compassionate interactions, and helps dispel miscommunications that cause marital tensions. Small steps soon become major strides as couples progress from confrontation and impasse toward an understanding of their differences. The underlying goal of our sessions is to: increase the pleasure of spending time with your partner, heighten or reestablish emotional intimacy, and help rediscover happiness in your relationship. Over the years, Relationship Resources has helped hundreds of married and unmarried couples undo rigid and negative patterns of behavior and transform their relationships to newfound levels of happiness and enjoyment.

A man comes home after a difficult day, his partner asks, 'How was your day?' He responds with a quick 'Fine' while inte...
09/02/2025

A man comes home after a difficult day, his partner asks, 'How was your day?' He responds with a quick 'Fine' while internally wrestling with stress, disappointment, or anxiety he feels he can't share.

Many men struggle with the societal expectation to remain stoic and unflinching in the face of adversity, whether it be physical, mental, or emotional. However, this silence hurts men's health and strains their partnerships.

Opening up lets your partner in. When you stop shutting them out, they're able to respond to what's really happening rather than what they imagine is wrong.

So, how do you change your behavioral patterns when you’re in the throes of a difficult day? Start small: Share one genuine feeling with your partner today. Maybe "I felt frustrated during that meeting" or "I'm worried about this decision."

Over time, you'll notice your emotions begin to settle while also deepening your connection with your partner.

Your partner shared something deeply personal with you last week, and now during last night's argument, you threw those ...
08/27/2025

Your partner shared something deeply personal with you last week, and now during last night's argument, you threw those vulnerable words right back at them.

According to Dr. Rein, these actions create critical damage to relationship trust. Why? Because it makes your partner feel unsafe sharing vulnerabilities with you. They start holding back during future conversations, self-editing the tender truths that once brought you closer, and emotional intimacy ceases.

What should you do instead? Treat your partner's vulnerabilities as sacred information. When you feel tempted to use something they've shared against them, pause and remember why they trusted you with that information in the first place. Instead, be vulnerable yourself. Share how the issue affects you and why you're upset.

08/22/2025

Which Response Would You Choose? 🤔

Your partner asks: "Would you go with me to the Smith's party?"

How would you respond?
a. "Why would I want to do that?"
b. "I hate the Smiths."
c. "I'd be uncomfortable since I don't know anyone."
d. "No way!"
e. "I'd rather not."
f. "Are you kidding me?"
g. "Only if you don't ignore me like usual."

Let’s first go through the ones that don’t work:
Responses a, b, d, f, and g could make your partner feel criticized or are defensive responses that shut down the conversation.

Response E ("I'd rather not") is respectful but keeps your partner guessing. While it avoids criticism, it doesn't share the real reason why, missing the opportunity for deeper understanding and connection.

Now let's look at Response C: "I'd be uncomfortable since I don't know anyone."
This is vulnerability in action. Instead of attacking or shutting down, this response reveals an honest feeling: discomfort, social anxiety, the fear of being the outsider. It takes courage to admit we feel uncomfortable rather than just saying "no" or criticizing the idea.

When we share our real feelings instead of hiding behind harsh responses, we give our partner the chance to truly understand us. Your partner might respond with: "Oh, I didn't realize! What if we only stayed for an hour?" or "I'll make sure to introduce you to people."

Vulnerability doesn't mean weakness. It means choosing connection over protection. When we're brave enough to share what's really going on inside, we build bridges instead of walls.

What would you say? And more importantly, would you be brave enough to let your partner see the real reason behind your response? 💕

Ever notice how anger shows up the moment you feel most hurt?Your anger isn't the problem. It's trying to protect someth...
08/13/2025

Ever notice how anger shows up the moment you feel most hurt?

Your anger isn't the problem. It's trying to protect something precious underneath.

Think about the last time you snapped at your partner. Maybe they dismissed something important to you, or forgot a promise they made. That flash of anger was likely protecting your feelings of being unvalued.

When we understand that anger is almost always a secondary emotion, we can start asking better questions. Instead of "Why am I so angry?" try "What am I afraid of right now?"

Dr. Richard Rein explains that anger acts like a bodyguard for our most vulnerable feelings. It steps in front of sadness, fear, shame, and loneliness because those emotions feel too risky to show.

Your partner comes home and immediately starts scrolling their phone. You feel angry, but underneath that anger might be loneliness or fear that you're not a priority.

Learning to recognize anger as a protector of our raw feelings can be incredibly powerful. It can lead to healing conversations that allow couples as well as children and parents to understand each other better.

The next time anger rises, pause and gently ask yourself: "What tender feeling is my anger trying to protect right now?"

You want to be close, but it's hard to let your partner really see you.Maybe you're afraid they won't understand. Or tha...
08/06/2025

You want to be close, but it's hard to let your partner really see you.

Maybe you're afraid they won't understand. Or that they'll use it against you later. Maybe you're afraid they'll see you as too much, or not enough.

But when you do open up, when you say "I'm scared," or "I need you," or "I don't know what to do", something shifts.

As Dr. Richard Rein writes, couples who feel safe being vulnerable build the strongest relationships. They become each other's safe place. Vulnerability is what makes closeness possible.

What's one vulnerable truth you haven't shared, but want to?

She still makes his coffee every morning. Even when they’re not speaking.Research shows that couples who maintain a stro...
07/29/2025

She still makes his coffee every morning. Even when they’re not speaking.

Research shows that couples who maintain a strong friendship are better able to navigate stress, conflict, and change.

One practical shift: focus on protecting the friendship underneath the problem, not just solving the problem itself.

Think of it like a garden. If the roots are healthy, storms can pass without uprooting everything.

Making time to enjoy each other, even in small ways, keeps that root system strong. Friendship is what helps love last.

What’s one thing you and your partner still laugh about, even on hard days?

Ever notice how one critical comment can turn a simple conversation into a full-blown argument?When a couple starts with...
07/23/2025

Ever notice how one critical comment can turn a simple conversation into a full-blown argument?

When a couple starts with a negative statement, there's only a 6% chance of turning that conversation around.

But what if you had a reset button?

When you feel that familiar tension rising, try saying “Let’s start over” or “Let’s reset.” You’re not ignoring the issue. You’re choosing how to talk about it.

Think of it like this: if you were walking down a path and realized you were heading toward a cliff, you'd turn around and find a better route. The same applies to difficult conversations.

The goal isn't to avoid conflict entirely. It's to address your concerns without the escalation that makes resolution impossible.

Next time you feel a conversation heading south, pause and reset. Your relationship is worth the do-over.

What's one phrase you could use to reset when things get heated?

"You think you’re better than me." He didn’t say it. He wasn’t thinking it. But she felt it.When couples argue, it’s eas...
07/15/2025

"You think you’re better than me." He didn’t say it. He wasn’t thinking it. But she felt it.

When couples argue, it’s easy to get caught in who's “right.”

But when someone you love tells you what they perceive, your first job isn’t to defend yourself. It’s to help them see the truth more clearly.

👉 That’s called perception correction. And it’s one of the fastest ways to de-escalate a fight and build trust.

In a recent session, a client calmly responded to “You’re angry” with:
“I’m not aware of feeling angry.”

No explosion. No argument. Just a quiet correction of what is real.

🧠 Try this the next time your partner shares a perception that doesn’t sit right: Correct it calmly before saying anything else.

The goal isn’t to win the moment. It’s to stay connected through it. Let us know how this works for you.

07/09/2025

When physical intimacy feels pressured, it doesn’t bring you closer. It creates distance.

The more one partner pushes, the more the other pulls away, and the harder it becomes to feel safe, wanted, or understood.

Many couples get stuck here. One longs for connection. The other feels overwhelmed or shut down.

There is a way forward that doesn’t involve giving up. It involves shifting the focus. Try this instead:

❤️ Take the pressure off. Let go of expectations, just for now.
❤️ Prioritize affection without agenda. Hold hands. Hug. Sit close. No performance, no pressure.
❤️ Rebuild emotional intimacy. Talk about your day. Share what you’re feeling. Listen with care.

Physical intimacy doesn’t return through pressure. It returns through safety. Through presence. Through tenderness.

If you’re in this space, you’re not broken. You may just need a softer way back to each other.

Want to revive intimacy with your partner? Try a 6-second kiss. 💋Most couples give quick 2-second pecks. But Dr. John Go...
07/03/2025

Want to revive intimacy with your partner? Try a 6-second kiss. 💋

Most couples give quick 2-second pecks. But Dr. John Gottman's research shows that 6 seconds is the magic number for real connection.

Here's why it works:
✨ Stops the mental chatter
✨ Shifts your brain from "task mode" to "connection mode"
✨ Creates a moment of genuine intimacy
✨ Reminds you why you fell in love

Try this tonight: Instead of your usual quick kiss, hold it for 6 full seconds and notice what happens. Sometimes the smallest changes create the biggest shifts in our relationships.

When’s the last time you shared a dream with your partner that you've never told anyone else?Emotionally intimate couple...
06/24/2025

When’s the last time you shared a dream with your partner that you've never told anyone else?

Emotionally intimate couples don't just talk about schedules and daily logistics. They create space for the dreams, hopes, and future visions they rarely share with others.

Maybe it's your secret wish to live by the ocean someday. Or your partner's quiet dream of starting their own business. These aren't just nice conversations, they're the foundation of emotional intimacy.

Dr. Richard Rein’s research shows that successful couples feel safe enough to be vulnerable with each other. They share the tender parts of themselves, the hopes they're almost afraid to say out loud.

When you dream together, you're saying, "I trust you with my most precious thoughts" and "Your dreams matter to me too."

Intimate relationships are built when partners become each other's safest place to dream.

What dream would you love to share with your partner?

Is your language keeping you in conflict?When conflict happens, our instinct is to focus on what our partner is doing wr...
06/17/2025

Is your language keeping you in conflict?

When conflict happens, our instinct is to focus on what our partner is doing wrong. But a simple language shift can change everything:

Swap “You” for “We”. Example:

Instead of "You always interrupt me," try "We seem to keep talking over each other."

Notice the difference? “You" language creates sides. "We" language creates partnership.

When you use collaborative language during disagreements, you’re more likely to find solutions together rather than getting stuck in blame cycles.

During your next disagreement, try shifting to “we” for just one sentence. See how it changes the energy in the room.

Your relationship isn't you versus your partner. It's both of you versus the problem.

Address

62 Derby Street, Suite 6
Hingham, MA
02043

Opening Hours

Monday 9am - 7pm
Tuesday 9am - 7pm
Wednesday 9am - 6pm
Thursday 9am - 7pm
Friday 9am - 2:30pm

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when Relationship Resources posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Share

Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on LinkedIn
Share on Pinterest Share on Reddit Share via Email
Share on WhatsApp Share on Instagram Share on Telegram

Our Story

Conflicts in a marriage are rarely about the issues, but instead how couples talk about the issues. In our couples counseling sessions, partners communicate face-to-face, openly and honestly about their issues.

Throughout the conversation we identify and prevent flash-points that create conflict escalation. We give feedback and provide direction toward the most effective way of communicating in a given situation. Our feedback encourages respectful and mutually compassionate interactions, and helps dispel miscommunication that cause marital tensions. Small steps soon become major strides as couples progress from confrontation and impasse toward an understanding of their differences.

The underlying goal of our sessions is to: increase the pleasure of spending time with your partner, heighten or reestablish emotional intimacy, and help rediscover happiness in your relationship.

Over the years, Relationship Resources has helped hundreds of married and unmarried couples undo rigid and negative patterns of behavior and transform their relationships to newfound levels of happiness and enjoyment.