Healing Trauma Through Spirit

Healing Trauma Through Spirit Offering healing for trauma associated with abuse through spiritually based practices and therapies since 2006.

Offering speaking, guest appearances, workshops and classes for individuals, groups, or organizations. I am a published author, experienced multi-generational healer & intuitive, speaker, podcaster, seeker, spiritual teacher, Jikiden Reiki® Shihan (teacher), social justice warrior, and a survivor of domestic violence and sexual assault. I help folks who suffer from a history of chronic illness, cancer, trauma, and/or abuse to address root issues, transform pain, bridge science, research and the practical magic so that they can experience sustainable healing and wholeness by rediscovering the body's ability to heal itself and the power that lies within so that they can become their own superhero. Why me:
I am passionate about addressing root issues that plague our society and finding sustainable solutions. This also means in order to do this, we must be willing to face and address hard truths. I provide a welcoming inviting safe space to do your what you know how to best. I am passionate about building a community of women who support each other's growth and business especially on the south shore in this geographic location. I am a thought leader in addressing the intersectionality of various women's and Femme issues. I am a best-selling collaborative author of "Feisty: Dangerously Amazing Women Using Their Voices to Make an Impact"

I am active in social justice issues surrounding issues such as domestic violence, restorative justice, sexual trauma, and litigation abuse in custody cases of victims of abuse and more. I have actively lobbied on at least 5 bills in MA that impact survivors of abuse, access to holistic treatments, regulatory bills, and other bills impacting women especially incarcerated women.

If we want to end victim blaming, we have to be honest about what it protects.Victim blaming isn’t just cruelty.It’s oft...
02/15/2026

If we want to end victim blaming, we have to be honest about what it protects.

Victim blaming isn’t just cruelty.
It’s often self-protection.

If I convince myself she must have lied…
If I tell myself she should have left sooner…
If I insist he would never do that…

Then I don’t have to face something deeply unsettling:

That harm can happen in plain sight.
That power protects itself.
That it could happen to me.
To someone I love.

Blame restores the illusion of control.
“If she had just…” becomes a spell to ward off fear.

So how do we shift it?

Not by shaming the shamer.
That only recreates the same dynamic.

We shift it by increasing capacity.

By teaching nervous system literacy so people recognize defensiveness as fear.

By naming cognitive dissonance so we can hold complexity.

You can like someone and still acknowledge they caused harm.

By modeling curiosity instead of certainty.
“What makes this hard to believe?” opens more doors than “How can you be so blind?”

By centering impact over reputation.
The real question isn’t “Is he a monster?”
It’s “Was someone harmed?”

By normalizing survivor support as strength, not extremism.

From a trauma and Reiki lens, this is collective shadow work.

Victim blaming is the shadow of a culture that worships power and fears vulnerability.

Healing that culture requires regulation. Ancestral awareness. The ability to tolerate discomfort without collapsing into denial.

This isn’t about winning arguments.
It’s about expanding capacity.

Because the more regulated and resourced someone is, the less they need to blame the victim to feel safe.

With care,
Laura Bonetzky-Gaffney

Author, Podcast Host of Triggers And Spiritual Medicine, Multi-Generational Multi-Disciplinary Healer & intuitive, Activist, Trauma Educator, Spiritual Teacher

https://linktr.ee/HealingWithSpirit

02/15/2026

In this February episode of Triggers in Spiritual Medicine, Laura is joined by mystic, author, and embodied truth teller Coco Oya for a conversation that moves far beyond surface level spirituality and into the bones of real healing.

Together, Laura and Coco Oya explore what happens when women’s circles stop bypassing discomfort and begin addressing the deeper ancestral, racial, maternal, and embodied wounds that live in the body. Drawing from Coco Oya’s powerful book Digging for Mother’s Bones, the conversation invites listeners to reconnect with the wisdom of the body, the womb, and the feminine creative force that has been suppressed, misunderstood, or diluted into “love and light” spirituality.

Coco Oya shares her journey from being a self described non feeler to fully embodying feminine power after a near death experience, and how that initiation revealed the collective mother wound that so many carry, often unconsciously. Laura and Coco Oya speak candidly about what it means to move from a mindset of being broken or needing to be fixed into remembering our inherent wholeness.

This episode weaves together embodiment, ancestral healing, racial truth telling, and the necessity of moving beyond band aid approaches to healing. They reflect on the discomfort that arises when spiritual spaces avoid hard conversations, and why true sisterhood requires honesty, accountability, and a willingness to feel what lives in the body rather than label or bypass it.

As always, this episode offers reflection, truth, and practical spiritual medicine, inviting listeners to turn triggers into transformation and remember the wisdom they already carry.

Podcast can be found on your favorite streaming platforms or YouTube or visit https://triggersandspiritualmedicine.buzzsprout.com/

I want to tread carefully. This isn’t about proving a point. It’s about a pattern that feels heavy in my body.Have you n...
02/14/2026

I want to tread carefully. This isn’t about proving a point. It’s about a pattern that feels heavy in my body.

Have you noticed how often the script sounds the same?

When women speak up, the response is predictable:

• Discredit her.
• Question her sanity.
• Suggest ulterior motives.
• Reframe the accused as the real victim.

Whether it’s celebrity cases, protective mothers fleeing abuse, or conversations about trafficking and power, the reflex is familiar. Minimize. Mock. Deflect. Deny.

It’s easier to call women liars than to confront systemic harm.

Easier to meme a courtroom than examine cultural conditioning.

Easier to diagnose a mother than question how systems fail survivors.

And slowly, disbelief becomes normalized.

This isn’t about gossip. It’s about narrative power.

Who we instinctively protect.

Who we instinctively doubt.

And what that reveals about our culture.

As someone who works in trauma and spiritual healing, I see how collective denial operates like an unhealed wound. When truth threatens identity, nervous systems flare. Defending the accused can feel like defending a worldview.

I don’t have all the answers.
I just know patterns matter.

So maybe the real question is: What are we protecting when we rush to disbelief?

Not from a place of attack.
From a place of integrity.

With care,
Laura Bonetzky-Gaffney

Author, Podcast Host of Triggers And Spiritual Medicine, Multi-Generational Multi-Disciplinary Healer & intuitive, Activist, Trauma Educator, Spiritual Teacher

https://linktr.ee/HealingWithSpirit

SAVE THE DATESunday,  March 15th at 2pmAndrea James will be doing a meet and greet at Healing With Spirit in Hingham MA....
02/14/2026

SAVE THE DATE
Sunday, March 15th at 2pm

Andrea James will be doing a meet and greet at Healing With Spirit in Hingham MA.

Come. Have a light snack and beverage. Ask your questions and meet why Andrea is a good choice for Massachusetts

Details to come

Buzzwords like "Grassroots" and "Affordability" are catchy. But actual track records speak for themselves.

It's time to look beyond blanket statements.

It's Commonwealth. Not Corporatewealth.

02/14/2026

28th Annual International Women’s Day Breakfast: Reigniting our Movements for Gender Equity

We could not be more excited to announce our stellar lineup of panelists for this year’s International Women’s Day Breakfast conversation!

Esteemed Panelists:

🎤 Aba Taylor, YW Boston
🎤 Aditi Dholakia, Boston Women’s Fund
🎤 Dallas Ducar, Fenway Health ,
🎤 State Representative Sam Montaño .sammontano

Moderated by Karen Holmes Ward

FREE tickets are available on our website (link in bio) on a first come first serve basis. Tickets have sold out the last 3 years, so be sure to grab yours while they last! massnow.org/events

02/14/2026

This
02/14/2026

This

Naming the Experience: Survivors and Systemic InversionI’m deeply moved by how many survivors responded with:“I didn’t k...
02/14/2026

Naming the Experience: Survivors and Systemic Inversion

I’m deeply moved by how many survivors responded with:
“I didn’t know there was a name for this.”
“Family court sanctioned abuse — there’s a name?”
“I will never be silenced again.”

If you are reading this and something clicked in your body, you are not alone.

Many survivors experience DARVO not just in personal relationships, but in courtrooms, institutions, workplaces, and even spiritual communities.

When systems dismiss harm.

When survivors are painted as unstable.

When truth is reframed as aggression.

When speaking up is punished.

There is language for that.

And language matters.

Because when you can name something, you stop thinking it’s just you.

If you have lived through inversion, silencing, or systemic dismissal, your confusion made sense.

Your body’s reaction made sense.
Your grief made sense.
And your voice matters.

Part of why I speak so directly about this is because I have lived through systemic inversion myself. I have experienced what happens when institutions fail survivors. I have experienced the consequences of challenging those systems.

That history informs my voice.

If this series has helped you put language to your own experience, I’m honored.

And again, if you share, please do so directly so the work remains connected to its source and continues to grow sustainably.

Reciprocity keeps grassroots advocacy alive.

With care,
Laura Bonetzky-Gaffney

Author, Podcast Host of Triggers And Spiritual Medicine, Multi-Generational Multi-Disciplinary Healer & intuitive, Activist, Trauma Educator, Spiritual Teacher

https://linktr.ee/HealingWithSpirit

02/13/2026

What they mean is “Stop naming my manipulation.”

I’m glad you’re here. 🫶

How to Disarm DARVO: What We Can DoFor those asking what we actually do next:What I’m sharing here comes from decades of...
02/13/2026

How to Disarm DARVO: What We Can Do

For those asking what we actually do next:

What I’m sharing here comes from decades of lived experience, formal trauma training, and years navigating family court sanctioned abuse systems from the inside.

This is not theory for me.

Here’s how we can respond:

1️⃣ Learn to spot it.

Look for:
• Immediate denial of harm
• Attacks on the credibility of the person raising concern
• Shifting focus away from the original issue
• Portraying the powerful person as the true victim
• Emotional indignation used to distract from facts

2️⃣ Regulate yourself.

DARVO is designed to activate you. Confusion and outrage are part of the strategy. When we become reactive, we’re easier to manipulate.

3️⃣ Name the pattern calmly.

“This sounds like denial.”
“This feels like reversing victim and offender.”
“We’re moving away from the original issue.”

Calm pattern recognition is powerful.

4️⃣ Do not mirror the tactic.

Do not counter-attack character with character.
Do not smear.
Do not dehumanize.

Replicating the dynamic strengthens it.

5️⃣ Support those targeted.

Reach out privately.
Affirm publicly when appropriate.
Fund survivor-led organizations.
Build informed communities.

6️⃣ Build micro safe spaces.

Not everyone is called to public advocacy.

But everyone can refuse to normalize inversion in their home, workplace, spiritual community, or friend circle.

Cultural change starts relationally.

You don’t disarm DARVO by becoming louder than it.
You disarm it by becoming steadier than it.

If these steps resonate or feel helpful, please share directly. Sharing from the page helps sustain the advocacy, education, & labor behind it.

I appreciate you helping keep the work rooted and resourced.

With care,
Laura Bonetzky-Gaffney

Author, Podcast Host of Triggers And Spiritual Medicine, Multi-Generational Multi-Disciplinary Healer & intuitive, Activist, Trauma Educator, Spiritual Teacher

https://linktr.ee/HealingWithSpirit

How Systems Teach DARVO Behavior: Pam Bondi as ExampleMany have asked: “How did she get that way?”No one is born knowing...
02/12/2026

How Systems Teach DARVO Behavior: Pam Bondi as Example

Many have asked: “How did she get that way?”

No one is born knowing how to deny harm, attack credibility, and reverse victim and offender. These behaviors are learned often within systems that reward power, loyalty, and narrative control over accountability, integrity, and truth.

Pam Bondi’s career offers a clear example:
from her rise in Florida politics to her alignment w/ Donald Trump, loyalty and influence often took priority over independent judgment or accountability.

Decisions like not pursuing Epstein prosecutions at the state level ... even amid growing evidence ... and later defending political narratives highlight how systemic incentives shape behavior.

Toxic power structures teach survival strategies:
• Denial over responsibility
• Attack over reflection
• Narrative control over transparency

Political, economic, and cultural rewards reinforce these strategies: prestige, status, influence, & insulation from consequences. When these incentives are consistently reinforced, behaviors like DARVO become learned tools not innate personality traits.

This isn’t about excusing behavior or speculating on psychology. It’s about seeing the structural & cultural roots that allow abuse of power to thrive & recognizing patterns so we can respond effectively.

Understanding this matters because it helps us:
• Spot manipulative tactics in real time
• Support survivors and hold institutions accountable
• Build informed, ethical communities

This work is lived for me. It comes from decades of advocacy, training, & navigating family court & domestic violence systems firsthand. I have experienced what happens when institutions fail survivors, including the consequences of challenging those systems.

If this resonates, please share direcly. Sharing from the page honors the labor, lived experience & decades of work behind this knowledge. Reciprocity helps sustain grassroots advocacy and survivor-led work.

With Care,
Laura Bonetzky-Gaffney

DV/SA Survivor, Author, Podcast Host of Triggers And Spiritual Medicine, Multi-Generational Multi-Disciplinary Healer & Intuitive, Activist, Trauma Educator, Spiritual Teacher

Understanding DARVO: What Causes This Behavior?Many of you asked:“What causes this behavior?”“Is this evil?”“What mental...
02/12/2026

Understanding DARVO: What Causes This Behavior?

Many of you asked:
“What causes this behavior?”
“Is this evil?”
“What mental diagnosis would make someone act this way?”
“Did something happen to them as a child?”

Let’s slow this down
DARVO is not a diagnosis

It is a strategy

Deny
Attack
Reverse Victim & Offender

It is a power-protection tactic used when someone feels threatened by accountability.

People use DARVO to:
• Avoid consequences
• Protect status
• Maintain control
• Shift narratives
• Rally supporters
• Destabilize critics

This does not automatically mean someone has a mental illness

Most folks who use DARVO are NOT “crazy.” They're protecting power. Sometimes it's calculated. Sometimes it's learned. Sometimes it's culturally reinforced.

Calling it evil may express how it feels. But psychologically, it is often strategic

And THAT matters

Because if we reduce it to “they must be mentally ill,” we miss the systemic piece

DARVO thrives in environments that reward loyalty over truth

It thrives where power is insulated

It thrives where audiences are conditioned to accept inversion

This is bigger than one personality
It is a cultural pattern

And trauma alone does not create abusive behavior. Many trauma survivors become deeply accountable adults. Abuse dynamics are about power & choice.

The more useful question is NOT “What diagnosis do they have?”

It is:
How do we respond w/o getting pulled into it?

That’s where our energy belongs

I also want to say this

The response to my first post was overwhelming in the most humbling way. Hundreds of you reached out. Thank you.

This work is not abstract for me. It is lived. It includes my own experiences inside systemic failure, including incarceration & decades of advocacy, training & labor in domestic violence & family court spaces.

I don’t speak about these patterns casually. I speak because I have survived them, studied them, & fought them.

If this resonates, I kindly ask that you share it directly from Healing Trauma Through Spirit, rather than copying & pasting. Honoring the source honors the labor & helps sustain grassroots advocacy work.

Thank you for the amplification & reciprocity
-Laura

Address

185 Lincoln Street , Suite 300
Hingham, MA
02043

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If You Can Heal Trauma, You Can Heal Anything

Laura did not choose this business. It chose her. You must be thinking, WHAT? Yes. The Universe has a way to shift our focus and life. She has learned to bless her junk in order to empower herself and others.

A Little Back Story

She was involved in an abusive relationship at the time. When she finally had the courage to leave in 2005, the abuses escalated, she began to see a divide within herself. What she was receiving through the shelters and American health care system was not only broken, but amplified and used it against her in court with her abuser when she sought help.